I feel that the school has given up on my child

[RoooneyMara]

Ds1 is just 10. He's at what is generally considered the 'best' local primary - it has huge competition to get in (we got in on a waiting list in y1)
He's happy there and likes his friends. He's had a few teachers he doesn't like much but gets on with most of them - it's a single intake so everyone knows everyone.

I've repeatedly asked the school to help him more because I think he is dyslexic. He was tested privately (specialist, also family friend - didn't cost us the usual fee) when he was 7 and she said he could be dyslexic, could just be young/immature. His IQ is over 140 also which amazed me.

He's getting average scores in testing, apparently, his reading is great, his writing not so much, his maths is slow.

He cannot tell the time or left from right. He can't tell yesterday from next week from last month. He seems not to have those patterns in place in his head iykwim.

The school did a very brief assessment in y4 and it came back as average. They have told me he is not dyslexic.

I emailed his teacher in March/April asking her for help, as I am really concerned about his 11 plus. I think he has a genuine learning problem and needs extra help. He is clearly not thick, but it's not coming through in his work.

She replied saying she will talk to the SENCO for advice - nothing happened. Yesterday we met to discuss the 11 plus and neither of us mentioned the email - I was told, condescendingly, that ds won't pass and isn't suitable for grammar school. But he is 'such a caring boy'.

I know he is caring. I just think they have failed him all the way. What child in y5 can't read a clock, or understand that Tuesday comes before Wednesday?

It's not that I want him to go to grammar for snob reasons...I want him to be happy. But most of his friends are going to grammar, I think, and the comps round here are universally shite. I am only afraid he will get lost in the system because no one has bothered to notice that he needs help.

I'm afraid my experience with Senco has not been great. If your child has a severe problem then they do get help, but anyone with milder learning difficulties don't get much of a look in. In your shoes I would try and find the money to have a full private assessment.

Also take some notes of what he struggles with and support your notes with practical examples of your son's problems. Speak to you GP about it maybe, or push for a referal to a educational psychologist. He might have another issue beyond dyslexia (such as dyspraxia). You need to back up his needs with evidence and tests.

Oh bless you - sounds like you are both having a torrid time. Schools can be so frustrating! It is not at all uncommon for high IQ children to have something else going on which means they working at an "average level". This isn't right though and he should be getting all the support he needs. Have you come across Potential Plus? www.potentialplusuk.org/ I would really, really suggest getting in touch with them.

Thankyou very much...I was confused about what schools need in terms of evidence and whether or not it would make any difference to him (eg extra time in tests and so on)

Thankyou for the link - I will have a look. My sister has sent me a contact for where we are, I just spoke to her and we're thinking of a private assessment - it's £325, is it worthwhile? Also I've no idea how much the support classes will be that they offer.

He does want to know if he has a problem, he keeps asking me and I say I think so but I can't tell him for definite.

I think an assessment is definitely a good idea - then you'll know what you are dealing with. Have a chat to Potential Plus though (you can just call them) - they are all lovely and really, really helpful. They also have a factsheet on Dual and Multiple Exceptionality on their website which might help you.

I think your gut instinct is probably right. My daughter is only 5 and in reception. She is an exceptional reader BUT she plainly has problems. She has coloured glasses which have helped immensely (we got them because she was complaining about glare from the white board and the lights and when we had her tested with a colorimetry machine there was an enormous improvement with a tint) and she now only misses punctuation or mixes words up when tired. As her mother I know just how bright she is because I have seen the questions she has, the things she knows, how early she started to do things/ask questions etc so I KNOW there is something not quite right and which isn't linked to her age I don't believe. I doubt she will ever test as dyslexic but I am pretty certain she has some level of it for a whole variety of reasons. There is this common misconception (in schools as well as in day to day life and I thought the same) that if someone can read then they can't be dyslexic but that isn't true. A compensating dyslexic or dual exception child (like SaveMeNow has mentioned) can be an excellent reader but still have problems and therefore isn't able to reach their true potential but because they are not failing it isn't recognised or dealt with.

Unfortunately I have no idea what you should do but an assessment makes sense. I can see us fighting this battle in the future. I also now look back at my school days and can see that I too am probably dyslexic and I never did get the marks everyone thought I should be capable of even though I worked hard.

good luck

My granddaughter is 12 and very bright across the curriculum.She can't tell the time or ride a bicycle.She has just been dx with dyspraxia.
As far as time goes I bought her a digital watch so she can now say 2.45 or whatever if she is asked the time.It has saved a lot of awkwardness for her.
Try your ds with some verbal and non verbal reasoning tests at home [Bond] and you will get an idea re 11+.

SaveMeNow do you work for them?

Hi RoooneyMara:

My DH is severely dyslexic and occasionally has a peak at what DD1 is doing for 11+. He says that both the VR and NVR questions are precisely the kinds of things that in his day, these were precisely the kind of questions used to prove he was dyslexic (he's knocking on 50, so we do accept that things may have changed a lot, hopefully for the better).

The test is what the test is - and although you may be able to apply for something like additional time to accommodate a learning disability/ physical disability, the test will not be altered.

My advice is to have a look at something like Bond's 'A parents guide to the 11+' (available from most large newsagents/ bookshops/ amazon) - in which Bond has prepared graduated assessment tests which clearly shows you what level your child is working at and what that means in terms of what he would need to achieve to be relatively confident of passing.

Also have a look at what would be included in the grammar school exam: some areas have only math & English, some areas just Verbal reasoning, etc.... - and that can obviously make huge differences for your DS.

I found the graduated assessment test very useful with DD1 in the summer before Y5, and it did help me make up my mind (bearing in mind school officially told me she was dim in Y2, and I should just accept that). DD1 wanted to try because her friends will be taking the 11+ and the test and DDs willingness to give it a go helped decide me it was worthwhile.

What I will say - is that if you embark on lots of extra work for the 11+, do bear in mind that there has to be some form of benefit other than just passing the test. In our case, for example, it was to ensure that DD1 was accessing a lot of material her school simply is not covering. Thus, she has learned about collective & abstract nouns, prepositions, alliteration, etc... - all things that the school had not covered at that point. It's been an upsetting thing at times for us - she gets very angry that she has no idea what they're asking, especially in grammar questions and it has been upsetting for the both of us. But we've tried to be positive about the fact that it means we've found one of those 'gaps' I've been worried about and now lets learn about this 'passive voice' thing or 'onomatopoeia' or whatever....

HTH