Talk to me about having two primary kids at different primary schools

[Strix]

The school my now y3 (DD) and y5 (DS1) children go to has changed their admission requirements such that my third child (DS2) will not get a place for recepetion the same year DS1 is entering y6 (Sept. 2015).

Consequently, if we do not move house, we are facing two separate primary schools, about 2 miles apart in West London (Twickenham) traffic. The children go to school on the bus. Assuming school drop off for both schools is at the same time, one of them will inevitably be about 30+ minutes late each day; could be more like 45 minutes depending on traffic.

So... anyone out there with two kids at two separate schools? How horrible is this? I'm thinking of two summer fetes, Christmas plays, consultation evenings which conflict, completely different set of school parents, etc. It sounds like a nightmare. I am so busy as it is, I just don't think I could manage to stay on top of two separate schools.

Or is this scenario reasonably manageable?

Sorry, I have confused things. DD is currently in Y5 and DS1 is currently in Y3.

not in that position myself BUT I would say the key thing would be the drop off/pick up situation as you want them all there on time and all picked up at the right time. Could the older ones perhaps do a breakfast or afterschool/homework club to fill in the time while you are dropping/collecting the younger one? or share with other parents?

I suppose yes 2 summer fetes, Christmas plays you will presumably have the same number as with the different ages they would be in different ones on different days. Parent's evenings are unlikely to be on the same night and if they are then you would just have to ask one of the teachers if you could speak to them at a different time (must be possible for shift workers etc) and different groups of parents would be the same potentially at the same school because of the age difference. Lots of these things are probably no worse than you will have with a preschool child and school child so I wouldn't worry about them unduly.

I understood the ages I think - so they will be reception (at one school) Y4 and Y6 at the other.

I live in the same area, and currently have my younger 2 DDs at two different schools, though still quite close together. It works fine for us because DD2 is at the end of Y6, and can walk by herself without having to cross any roads. DD3 has a very busy road to cross, and is only in Y4, so I go with her. We've only been doing it for a couple of weeks though, so I can 't help with most of your problem.

However, I do know that most/all schools in the area encourage Y6 to get themselves to school, in preparation for secondary. You might need to talk to them about it before hand if your DS1 will be going by themselves for the whole of Y6, but I'm sure they'd be understanding.

Alternatively, have a chat with the admissions people at the borough. They are really lovely. See if there is anything that can be done to get your DS2 into the same school. I don't think that a difficult drop off counts, but maybe something else might.

Hi we have DD1 and DD2 in one school and DS1 in another school.

The school run has to be done on the bus (by dh as I work and take the car) and is a bloody nightmare, we are regular morning and afternoon club users obviously otherwise we would always be late. We are not in London though so I can't comment on how that would work.

As far as the social side goes it can get pretty hectic towards Christmas and the end of year terms. Luckily for us nothing has ever clashed so we haven't had to choose one over the other, but it does become very busy and tends to suck all the joy out of these things.

I don't engage in playground friendships etc so the extra set of school parents isn't an issue for us.

The most difficult thing for us is keeping track of which school is doing what for special days etc, so one may do comic relief the other may do children in need, then one will do fancy dress and the other won't. This is really confusing and very time consuming.

Good luck it is doable and you will just get into the swing of it, my big tip would be to invest in a family organiser/calendar.

Say a prayer for us please because if I don't win my admissions appeal, infant to junior, (we hear this week) we will have 3 children in 3 different schools and I really don't have a clue how that is even possible!

My DS1 Aged 10 And my DD1 Aged 8 go to different primary schools and have been for the past school year. DS1's school is 3 miles away so we send him by taxi which costs us an absolute fortune. We kept him in his old school when we moved as he has autism and we thought he wouldn't be able to cope with too much change.
It is manageable for us but yes it does get very confusing, they break up on different days, do different events, Sports days etc. A lot has had to be sacrificed on our part and the children also now know that I won't be able to go to everything. The biggest tip I can give is buy a calendar and write everything down because you will forget something at some point.

yes the family organiser calendars are great. We have had 1 at preschool and one at school this year and keeping track of the different sports days, concerts/plays, meetings, days in and teacher training days, different holiday times etc (as well as 3000 parties) has been greatly helped by the planner.

I have this, they are similar distances apart and too young to take the bus. I don't find the school runs too bad as they have after school care at both schools but if the traffic is bad I have been late collecting a few times.

I find the 2 lots of everything the hardest, I work 4 days a week and the 2 assemblies/sports days/fetes etc is really hard going and I am always making up hours.

However - I do manage it but it takes being extra organised each week as in the past I have ended up getting a bit muddled

Sorry its taken me so long to come back.

I must say this thread has probably done more to reinforce my view that it will be a nightmare.

The ages will be:
DS2, entering reception
DS1, entering year 6
DD, at senior school so not a problem.

DD will go to school on her own. DS1 will not! If we lived down the road he might go on his own. But we live a couple of miles away, the bus is massively crowded with senior school kids, and he would probably forget to get off the bus whilst he was still in Twickenham.

For those who know the area, we live in Whitton (still in Richmond borough but not within the new 2.5kn distance required for syblings to get in). So the school place allocated to DS2 will not be close. We are literally looking at DS1 being dropped off 30 minutes late every day. And I didn't eve think about pick up. Bollox! That will perhaps be late too.

I intend to complain, appeal, and use any other approriate tool I can find to persuade them to let DS2 into th school. But, I expect to lose.

Sadly, I think the only workable solutions all involve ripping DS1 away from the friends/teachers/school community which he will have been a part of for year 7.

My only bit of (childish and spiteful) consolation is that he is very clever and will not be there to help them raise their SATs score.

I started this thread trying to put emothion aside and just be very factual. But, the truth is I am VERY angry about how DS1 is being trated. These admissions arrangement were not in place when started sending our children to this school, and we could not possibly have foreseen this change.

It seems we are putting the school before the pupil and I am most displeased!

Did you move since starting your older children there then? Is there a nearer school DS2 can get into?

I have two in different schools (DS Y6 and DD Y4). DS walked himself to school since Y3, it's not been a problem.
It has also been lovely to see them both blossom in schools that suit their different temperaments.
Why would one child be 30 Minutes late?
Surely both schools have breakfast clubs so it would be better for one to be 30 minutes early?
Could your DS1 go to school with a friend while you take the little one to school?
I agree that you'll need a family calendar to keep track of who is where on which day, but you'd need that wherever they were at school.

At one point I had five children in five different schools it took lots of planning and organising but it was manageable. In effect the oldest two went to and from school by themselves, number three was taken early by me to breakfast club and brought home by a neighbour, number four and five I transported and after a year number four was taxied to and from another different school. I think you will have to investigate before and after school care or maybe move the older ones to your youngest's school as being late every day won't be tolerated.

It is hard that the admissions has been changed after you've entered the school, but any change will affect people, and unfortunately you seem to be on the "losing end" of this deal.

I have done 2 schools, but closer. It is hard. If you know anyone that can take DS1 on some days (or collect him) that would obviously help enormously. Sign up for lots of clubs etc, but that means less time at home/playdates etc.

To be honest it was worse than I thought having children at different schools, not only doubling (often conflicting) parent teacher nights, plays etc, it was also the playdates - each were spread in different directions, so picking up was a logistical nightmare... and we were always so rushed to "get to the next school" we were never around to organise stuff (playdates or coffee for me!), so I was on the outer for both schools in a way.

The children were always being rushed about, stressed and bragging/arguing over who had more/less homework etc. And to add to woes, an appeal won't be successful on the grounds of "logistics", they told me if I had to hire someone to take one to school that was my issue (so kind, NOT).

Have you got friends who could take DS1 to school for you? Maybe even bring him home? If he is going into year 6 at least the inconvenience will only be for one year.

My issue with the admissions criteria (and the 2.5k) is that is applies to syblings of children who were already at the school when the admissions changed. So, we as a family could not possibly have known that we would be in this position when we started sending our children to this school.

There was a consultation, which at our school is simply a euphamism for a PR excercise for decisions which have already been made.

I will try to persuade the school to change their admissions, but I expect to be unsuccessful. Meanwhile DS1 will go on waiting lists for schools with a sybling rule which is not tied to distance. If we get a plce for DS1, we will then apply there for DS2 for reception entry. The person who will suffer most is DS1, and that is what angers me.

Why do these new admissions get rolled out to impact students they already have.

Also, I think I am so angry with the school for treating us this way after some 9 years of loyal support from us, that the relationship between me and the school is probably beyond repair.

So, I have a little bit of time to see what my options are but I think it will result in:

1. moving h ouse
2. New school for DS1 (but will wait for DD to finsh year 6 as no reason to disrupt her as well)
3. New church to go with new shool (I want a church school connected to a church I wish to attend)

And... I will have a chat with the vicar and let him know why I have no choice but to leave his church as a result of these new admissions (which I believe he acceptes as a member of the school board).

I'm guessing you've moved since starting your children at that school then?

I sympathise I really do but no-one has the right to expect admissions to stay the same for future siblings and these new rules are a result of many parents arrogantly moving area having 'bagged' their child and assumed future siblings into their favoured school.

Everyone is then travelling miles to get in and none of the local children can get in. I think 2.5k is very generous, catchments are much smaller round here for primary schools.

I understand why you are angry, but you just need to be practical and
focus on how you are going to manage this. Lots of great advice here on how you can do it, good luck.

I might be able to call in some favours from some friends, but I couldn't really rely on them to do it every day. We have one au pair who takes the children to school. I will not be hiring another one.

ho hum...

So, new church, new home, new school here we come. But my boys will stay together. (unless I persuade the school to change their admissions arrangements -- pie in the sky I think)

I have had three at three different schools for years, and a friend has had four at four different schools, so I'm clearly a light weight, compared to her!

Can DS1 not get the bus on his own?

Incidentally, we have not moved. It is a church school. WE got in as loyal church goers. And they only recently applied a distance criteria to foundation places and sibling places.

The shame is I intentionally sought out a church and school which together would provide a single christian community for the children. And, now, I hav to choose between leaving them both, or separating my boys.

But, as you say, they can (and they have) change the admission requirements. And I will just have to accept that and choose my course.

I will still ask them to explain to me why they have done this. I will write the London Dioscese and tell them how disappointed I am with the lack of support from the church community, and so on.

But I will also seek out my options and choose the course which best suits the boys.

Ah ok I apologise, I can see why you are angry.

Sadly all the people moving away and expecting their children and future siblings to stay at the school have made this happen though

No need to apologise. The criteria for school entry is very controversial.

I just think the new admissions should apply to children whose siblings joined the school after the admission criteria went into effect. That way it would only effect families who knew what they were signing up to when the started at the school.

Well you've got a couple of years to come to terms with it, so you could consider moving your ds1 at an earlier stage, eg when your dd moves to secondary. Equally you have quite some time ahead to plan for teaching ds1 how to manage on the bus. You may even find that there is a breakfast club option for ds2 so ds2 can get dropped off first and the au pair can take ds1 on the bus (it will after all be for one year only). And given stamp duty costs etc perhaps even a taxi to school for that year would be cheaper than moving.

Having children at different schools isn't an easy option, but neither is it that uncommon. It is inconvenient, yes. But you look as if you're ready to uproot your family and all their relationships, leave your church, all for the sake of 38 weeks of inconvenience.

I think you are overreacting a bit here. I have had 2 children in 2 different schools for 3 years and whilst it is an inconvenience it is not the end of the world. When you choose a school further away there is always a chance that this can happen, even without changing the admissions.

And as Ladymuck says you have a few years to organise the schoolrun or anything else. And a lot can change in that time too.