DS yr 3 playing with older boys at school, now upset they are leaving. Advice please

[mummatotwo]

DS plays with much older kids at his school, some of them I would say are quite "young" for their age but still imho too old for him. He says most of his friends play footie which he doesn't really care for, plus some of the boys in his year clash.

Now the older boys are leaving to go to high school he;s been in tears tonight saying he will have no one to play with...he's gutted. ive
suggested:

he tries to make friends and play with kids his own age
he waits for Sept when new kids will start, although a year below him he knows some of them
perhaps sees what clubs he can do at some lunchtimes
maybe ask some of these older kids what they do after school and join some of these clubs

deep down Im glad they will be leaving as I feel they are a wee bit too grown up for him and he is growing up way too quick in their company

I have also said lets wait and see what Sept brings and if its still a problem perhaps see the new teacher and what she suggests

Anyone else been through this???

Hi mummatotwo

I think you've made some very sensible suggestions yourself. Joining clubs next year will help your DS make friends.

It sounds like he's become very dependent on this group of boys and perhaps the lesson here is to ensure he understands how useful it is to have a number of different friends.

Try and talk to your DS or some of the Mums/ Dads of children in his school year about what they're planning to do over the summer. It may seem nosy or strange - but you might find out that people all tend to go to the local park at a certain time, so you can come along with DS and he can join in. Or that there will be some activity he might be interested in joining (I see he doesn't like football).

Finally - the other thing to remember is that it is good for him ultimately to 'make his own fun' - it does give him some self reliance. I'm sure over the summer you'll see family & friends and he'll have a lovely time. My advice is to let time solve this problem - because he will seek company out next year and gradually make new friends.

I was very worried about DD2 not having a huge number of friends around Y2 (she also really adored some of the Y6 girls she knew from her after school club and was upset when they moved up to senior school), but she has quite a wide circle now through orchestra (she joined this year), choir, dance classes, swimming and school. Some are just friends to say hello to and share a joke with during swimming, but others are great pals to share your lunch and make drawings for. I didn't really do anything - just chaffeured to these extra activitives but suddenly find pretty much wherever we go we run into people who run up to greet DD2 as a long lost friend.

It will work out naturally in the end. Just give it time.

HTH

thank you for the reassurance!