DS taken on school trip without me knowing. Would this bother you?

[LondonBus]

DS plays rounders in an after school club run by one of the teachers.

Today I popped into school at the beginning of lunchtime to give DD some medicine. I had a quick chat to DD's teacher who was also going into the school, about DD.

I saw DS in his PE kit, with a group of other children. He was wearing some canvas shoes, and I asked where his trainers were...he said he'd forgotten them...I did consider slapping some sun cream on him, but thought as he was only going to be out in the sun for less than an hour he'd be fine, and I ddin't want to embarrass him in front of his friends.

After school, I was kicking myself, as his face was actually quite red (and much more freckly). He then told me he'd spent the afternoon outside at a rounders match at another school. Apparently he'd been taken there in another parents car. I asked him if I was supposed to have signed a letter, and he said yes, but he hadn't been given a letter. (Who knows with a 10 yo boy!?) and the teacher who had gone with them (DD's teacher) said she had just spoken to me, and I'd said it was OK for him to go!

If I'd known DS was going out on the trip I would have double checked he had his trainers in school that day, and given him a hat and sun cream, but hey he's still alive.

Just wondering what other parents would make of this.

This would bother me, if the facts are as you state, because there should be written permission.

Did the teacher speak to you and did you say it was ok for him to go? I am a bit confused!

Hmm.... maybe a few years ago.....because they go to the church opposite the school. Now parents aren't asked to sign a form for that because it's accepted DC will be going to the church often, and it's sort of considered part of the school.

We were asked to sign a general form for local trips.

Yes, I spoke to the teacher, but only about DD, not about DS playing rounders. I certainly didn't give verbal permission for DS to go to the rounders match (although I would have). I had no idea he's even played rounders today, until this evening. I presumed he was going to be doing some sort of sport on the school field when I saw him in his PE kit.

I would have wished the DC luck if I'd known they were going to a match.

We have a written agreement at start of school that DD will go on trips during school day. We only get letters if they extend outside of school hours, cost money or they need a packed lunch. But, then they leave school on coaches or public transport every week for PE, tennis, sports matches, swimming or driving, etc. So, that aspect wouldn't bother me at all.

The parent car bit is more confusing as that is not really recommended or good practise tbh.

We sign a form at the start of each year that covers this type of 'small' trip - maybe he was already covered?

I'm kind of surprised that he was allowed to go in another parent's car though - I didn't think that was covered by this form

Primary sent home forms and rang for permission if they went AWOL. So yes I'd have been mildly annoyed.

Seniour school are weird. Sports away matches have no forms at all, DC bring mobiles we'll ring as we leave.

But day trips have a huge health form, more suited to a weeks residential.

I totally fail to make sense of it, since reception is manned to well after school hours and surely all this nonsense is in the computer.

I wouldn't mind. I would be upset if school followed protocol and left my child behind because I had forgotten to sign the consent form for a safe fun trip like this. I am always glad when schools are willing to break this kind of ruls=

claraschu, that's how DH feels. And me too really. I would be sad if DS had been left at school.

What I always really liked about this school was that teachers did what they thought was sensible at the time, rather than what was fashionable in schools (DS2 was given a big hug by his teacher on his first day of school, for example, and DS1 who had anger issues was invited by the HT to come to his office and punch him hard, he he ever felt really cross) then they got a new HT, and everything was done by the book and to the letter. After two years the HT left, and teachers seem tohave gone back to using their common sense, but I think I'm left feeling everything should be done by the rules.

I vaguely know the parent DS traveled with, and know what kind of car they drive. I may not be so happy if I had no idea who the parent was.

DS1's secondary school send out a two page form in three different languages for him to go on a cross country run.

I'm like Claraschu - I love the idea of schools being able to use common sense, and I'd be pleased if my dc could just go off on trips / to sports fixtures etc., without all the faff of having to collect in permission forms for each one, but I'm surprised the school feel able to do this, in this day and age.
Personally, I wouldn't be cross at all, but I'm on MN a lot, and I know a lot of parents would... maybe the school also used their judgement in knowing that you are dh are sensible, common sense parents and not the sort to be phoning OFSTED because your ds was allowed to play outside without a coat {or insert whatever ridiculous complaint thread is running at the moment} ?

It's the going in a parent's car that bothers me more. What would happen if the car was involved in an accident? Who would be liable? And I assume the parent is crb (or whatever it's called now) checked or a teacher was present?

The guidance for trips and visits says that permission is not needed for trips are not needed for visits entirely within the school day and are not significantly dangerous! So. Trip to another school to play sport, or to a museum etc fine, rock climbing down a sheer cliff they would need to ask. Most schools don't follow this guidance though and ask for permission each time.

They should however have got permission for being driven by another parent though.

I think I'm going to have a chat with the acting HT, who's lovely just to make them aware of what happened.

I am cross that the teacher lied to DS, saying she'd just spoken to me, and I'd said it was OK, when I hadn't. If she'd just said "It's OK, don't worry about the letter" I wouldn't mind so much.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, tbh. I think it is more crossed wires than a teacher deliberately lying. The fact you spoke to your DD and asked him where his trainers are may have given the teacher the false impression that you knew about the match and were happy for him to go. Teacher may then have assumed that it was ok because you never said it wasn't, iyswim. Like you, I'd much prefer the common sense approach where we accept teachers are in fact pretty intelligent adults who care about the welfare of the children in their care and are unlikely therefore to allow them to play with fire, swim in flooding rivers or be snatched by strangers. Having a child who possesses a school bag that routinely eats all letters she is given by the school I would simply be happy my child had been able to participate, despite their own incompetence in failing to deliver the letter home! ;)

I think if a permission slip is involved they should check permission has been granted.

I have had a similar situation and I did speak to the school.

It's not a huge deal,but it is a lack of procedure and communication,and needs to be addressed.

It wouldn't bother me either, I think we tend to get absolutely neurotic about signing bits of paper/accepting responsibility/not allowing a child to go in a certain car etc etc etc - I do voluntary work with children and the paperwork to do a simple outing (ie: no car - just a short walk for example) is horrendous and is one of the reasons why it is so hard to get adult volunteers.

We trust the teachers to look after our children, this should apply to going on outings etc.

Its interesting that as soon as they get to secondary school we don't have to sign all these letters/disclaimers (although doing voluntary work with older children/teenagers I still have to do all this) . My son often goes off to a match and I have no idea where or who is driving him.

I would not be happy at all ,however, with my DC travelling in another parents car without my knowledge or permission.