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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Help please.. Is just turning 4 to early for school?

54 replies

Daniellesmac · 06/06/2013 18:24

My daughter turns 4 next year on the 23rd of august. I'm wanting her to start school in the September, but she will only just of turned 4!!

I don't know if it's too early for her. She's intellignet but still going through toilet training at the moment and shes still not fully there with her speech.
I might be just worrying (most likely)
Anyone else in or has been in a similar situation? Much needed help

Also quick question on views on primary schools around twickenham/richmond/teddington areas.

Danielle x

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OrganixAddict · 06/06/2013 18:30

My dd is late July birthday and started Reception last September. I was worried but she has coped really well. She is very tired at end of term though and I tend not to do much after school / half term holidays so she can recharge.
One thing I will say is she has a very chilled out teacher and the school (at least in reception) is also quite relaxed which I think helps. I have friends with same age dc whose schools set homework in reception. Might be worth finding out what your local school do.

Original poster

Daniellesmac · 06/06/2013 18:35

I've looked at the once I will most probably apply for, and the only 'homework' they set is encouraging bedtime reading and talking through what they did throughout the day rather than worksheets...

Yeah everyones told me when she starts nursery this September I'm going to see a huge change in her and she's going to come on leaps and bounds, so fingers crossed within the new year I should start to feel for confident.

What side of the fence do you sit on when it comes to school/packed lunches

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cathpip · 06/06/2013 18:42

My sisters dd is a 23rd August birthday, she however is now in year 1 and has thrived and been fine since the day she started. Not bad considering she was 6 weeks premature and not due till the October, my sister did have exactly the same worries as you, but soon realised she was worrying over nothing.

FannyFifer · 06/06/2013 18:44

I would say way to early. Both of my kids started at 5 and a half, wouldn't be allowed to send a child that young to school here.

Original poster

Daniellesmac · 06/06/2013 18:52

I probably am just worrying, I know how well she gets on with other kids and how intelligent she is, its just mainly her speech I'm concerned about

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Purplehonesty · 06/06/2013 18:59

Hmm she might be intelligent but if she is emotionally not ready it may be too soon.
My ds is 4 just before the start of term this year, is starting to read and do maths and is very very bright. But emotionally it would be far too much for him.

Original poster

Daniellesmac · 06/06/2013 19:05

I suppose only time will tell.
Hopefully either way everything will work it's self out

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PassTheTwiglets · 06/06/2013 19:05

Intelligence is nothing to do with whether a child is ready for school or not. Also, unless you're talking about the private system (which I know nothing about), you will be told when your child can start school, you can't choose. The only 'choosing' you can do is whether to defer their entry until after they're 5yo.

Original poster

Daniellesmac · 06/06/2013 19:07

Your child doesn't legally have to go to school until they are 5 years old. It's up to you whether or not you want them to start at 4 or wait unitl they turn 5

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LIZS · 06/06/2013 19:08

So she's not yet 3? Wait until this time next year before you worry.

FlatsInDagenham · 06/06/2013 19:09

My DD has a late August birthday too. She started Reception less than a week after her 4th birthday. I admit, I was worried.

But she has coped brilliantly. She does get very tired (but I think they all do) and it's been frustrating to attend all her friends' 5th birthday parties while still waiting for hers!

Toileting was an issue and she had quite a few accidents in her first term, but the school are totally used to this and didn't make a fuss. I just made sure I always sent in clean underwear for her. That problem fizzled out after a couple of months.

She is keeping up with the pace of learning and has made solid friendships.

I personally think you don't need to worry.

Crikeyblimey · 06/06/2013 19:09

My nephew started school at 4 years and 2 weeks old. He was VERY tired the first term (he needed a jam butty just to make the walk home) but he did get his degree before he was 21.

Original poster

Daniellesmac · 06/06/2013 19:10

No not yet but I'll have to be applying September/October time if I'm wanting her to start next September.

OP posts:

OrganixAddict · 06/06/2013 19:10

My dd prefers packed lunch as she knows she will like what is in it and not have to make choices at lunch time.
My dd did change.enormously in her pre school year. She was always very verbal but until pre school.wouldn't talk to anyone other than close family friends. When pre school did home visit she sat on sofa behind a cushion and refused to speak to them. They later told me they though "oh no" but as she settled in and felt at home there she blossomed. School has seen her continue this and although I contemplated a delayed start for her, think emotionally she would have found joining an.established group a term or two in much harder.

Original poster

Daniellesmac · 06/06/2013 19:13

It's great to hear so many positive stories. My brother was also a late starter his birthday being the 31st of August!
But you have a different view when it's your own.. I think some schools would let you stop school lunches so might try them out for a term or few weeks see how they go.

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Littlefish · 06/06/2013 22:24

Daniellesmac - if you choose not to start your dd until she is 5, then she would go straight into Year 1 and miss Reception completely (if there was still a space available for her).

Inclusionist · 07/06/2013 07:00

Daniellesmac my DS is exactly the same age as your DD (17th Aug). Mine is pretty good at toileting and very verbal but he still has the most INCREDIBLE tantrums when things don't go his way. I am a teacher and know his behaviour at the moment would be unacceptable in school.

However, I think they will change so much in a year.

Are you sending your DD to pre-school? I have shopped around really carefully for an amazing pre-school which he will attend from this September. I am confident they will have him ready for Reception but the following year!

Saracen · 07/06/2013 07:26

I didn't send either of my children at four, neither the one with learning difficulties nor the bright compliant outgoing one. It just didn't sit right with me; I thought they should have complete choice over how they played and that they should have good access to individual attention throughout the day from someone who loved them.

As you probably know, your choices aren't simply to send your dd to school just after her fourth birthday or to wait a year. She can start whenever you want, but no earlier than the autumn after her fourth birthday.

You could start her at any point during her Reception year - it doesn't even have to be at the beginning of a term. Meantime she could carry on at preschool or stay home with you. You could also wait even longer than the start of Y1, by home educating for a while. Some parents want their children to start school at the age of six or seven.

There is the issue of school oversubscription. If you are offered a place in an oversubscribed school which you like, then you may want to keep hold of the place by accepting it and deferring, in which case your dd would have to start by the end of Reception in order for her place at that school to be guaranteed. On the other hand, if she doesn't get a place at the school you want, then a later school start could work in your favour: you could keep your daughter out of school while going on the waiting list and hoping someone moves away.

I'm sure you'll have a clearer view of what's best in a year's time!

StitchAteMySleep · 07/06/2013 07:37

In my borough you can defer entry until spring or summer term or send them part time. Contact RUT council education dept. or have a look on their website to see their policy.

My dd1 is starting reception in September (summer birthday), but I will be sending her part time as full days would be too much for her atm. I will see how she does and consider ft for spring term if she seems ready.

prh47bridge · 07/06/2013 09:51

Remember that the curriculum in Reception is the same as that followed in nurseries. The emphasis is on learning through play. It is intended as a gentle introduction to school preparing the children for the more formal schooling that starts in Y1.

AmbrosiaCreamedMice · 07/06/2013 09:54

I did, and wish i had waited the year.

Bvlgari · 07/06/2013 09:59

I would have been happy sending DS the September before he was 4 in the November. Yes at 3! He was really ready
They are all different, I think they can all be ready for the activities in school, not necessarily socially.
I'd wait until much closer to the time, I'm sure you'll feel a lot more comfortable when it gets nearer. Maybe just investigate the procedure for keeping her out until she's 5?

birdseed · 07/06/2013 22:42

My July born DS started reception this year. I really wish that I had the option for him to start the year later as emotionally not ready and he is very small compared to some of his peers (not a big child anyway and July birthday). Given the choice was send, defer til later in the year or start in year 1 (if place available), we chose to send him but took him off 2 or 3 afternoons a week for first term, 2 per week second and now he is expected to go full time. Really glad he had the afternoons off as it really helped with how he coped with it all.
Could you do that?

Stupid system in my opinion as some summer borns really not ready in one way or another, but just have to make the best you can of it for your child.
Why not apply in Sept and then see what you want to do nearer the time?

birdseed · 07/06/2013 22:43

(I meant start in reception a year later)

bigbuttons · 07/06/2013 22:45

Ds1 is an August born. At the time all summer born children went Pt until the summer term. He wasn't ready for school really but he coped ok.

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