Explaining ASD to Ds' classmates

[popgoestheweezel]

Do any of you teachers have experience of dealing with this sort of situation?
Ds (yr 2) has ASD and sensory issues, School have asked how they should deal with other children asking why ds gets out of things like assembly (sensory overload for him esp with singing!) or does something else while the rest of the class has to do carpet time.
I am wondering how's best to tackle it, they asked should they take ds away and have a whole class talk on it, my impulse was that that would not be the right thing to do, but what is? I want to be open about his issues as all school gate parents have witnessed his home time breakdowns for the last three years so they must know there's something going on with him- they might as well understand exactly what it is.
Does anyone have any experiences of how this can be dealt with in a positive manner at school, i'd hope it could be included as part of the PHSE curriculum.

I find it is best to withdraw the child from the class and explain that they find some things very difficult and may need to do something different. I have done something similar with slightly older children (yr 5) and found some good videos online that were of children talking about what they found hard etc.

The children need reassuring that they need to continue to be a good friend and not treat their classmate differently, just be supportive if they are having a tough time, just like someone might help them if they are having a bad day. Being supportive might take a specific form for each individual child, e.g. It might be letting them express their anger and being alone for 5min not pushed to join in with things.

There's a good book called "can I tell you about asperger's syndrome" which helped us and DS2's teacher explain some things to his classmates.

www.amazon.co.uk/Tell-About-Asperger-Syndrome-ebook/dp/B0035JJCF2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370276919&sr=8-1&keywords=can+i+tell+you+about+aspergers

Is there a risk that some children might use that as an excuse to single out a child who is already 'different'? Most children I'm sure would be kind and understanding, but not all, especially when they're only 6 and 7 yo.

How about the books 'All dogs have ADHD' and 'All cats have Aspergers' by Kathy Hoopmann. You child may not specifically have either of these diagnosis but some of the traits will be similar and these books explain the conditions very simply to other children. I know the author does other books in relation to ASD and it may be worth reading some to see if any would be useful for your child and his specific needs. We use the all dogs/cats books in school and other children relate well to them.

If it were my child, I would just want the teacher to say "DS doesn't feel comfortable going into assembly", or DS doesn't feel able to sit on on the carpet at the moment."

DS used to refuse to go into assembly when he was in Y4 (long before he was diagnosed). Mostly this was fine, and as the classroom lead onto the hall, he was allowed to sit on a chair inside the classroom, where he could see, but not become overwhelmed. A couple of other children picked up on it, and also started to refuse to go in to assembly. All the assembly refuseer were asked to copy passages from books. (Fine by DS, a nice quiet, easy activity, but the other children found in boring and went back to participating in assembly). With hindsight, if he's had a diagnosis, and it had been explained to the class, this could all have been avoided.

It sounds like the school are handling things well, so if they think talking to the class is the best thing, then I would be inclined to go along with it.

And before anyone says anything, this was a particularly difficult class, where some of the DC had massive issues...the teacher wasn't just weak, she was genuinely picking her battles.

My son is the same age and has a classmate called D who is autistic.
(I know this because his mum has mentioned it on fb )

My son has mentioned that D has a one to one and gets very scared of loud noises because his brain is sensitive. He told me this in a very matter of fact way. Same as when he told me that the new boy A has diabetes and needs blood checks.

D is sensitive to noise but is popular as he's a smiley and cheerful boy like the others in his class. I have seen parents raise eyebrows when D has a meltdown but the other kids seem to be matter of fact and say stuff like "He's upset because the playground is noisy and busy" (which is obviously the case at home time)

I think it is good for the teacher to explain things to the children so that the child isn't labelled naughty by other children and parents. 6/7 year olds are v black and white so it's definitely good to explain stuff like this because they judge people against themselves and others that they know due to lack of life experience.

Lynette, the other children saying 'I don't like assembly either' is exactly the problem for ds' teacher.
I'm not sure i can tell her to just let them not go!

In dd's school there are lots of different groups going on at various times and assembly is a time when many children are withdrawn for one reason or another. In fact it is so common that no one would question why a child wasn't taking part in one activity or another tbh. I'm not sure that a full explanation is needed, I certainly wouldn't want school divulging dd's dx to a class full of 7 year olds, but would say that something along the lines of some children are unable to manage some parts of the day or have other things they need to work on, pops ds does other work at that time and maybe some of you will have times when you do other work too.

There is a little lad with autism in DDs class. He started with them all in reception and is now Y1 so maybe it's a little different in that its always been a part of their lives but really they all accept quite matter of factly that he is allowed to do some things differently.

He has a 1:1 TA full time and isn't verbal. He goes in later rather than line up and is collected earlier, he doesn't go to assembly and isn't expected to sit for long periods. DD explains this to me as 'x can't sit still for long/ doesn't like loud noises because his brain works differently.'

This seems to be an adequate explanation for her and the others and as far as I know no-one is unkind. I see the little boy at birthday parties quite regularly so I think he is included.

IME it wouldn't be the children who marginalise the child but the parents may well be another matter. Even if not overtly they may not want to have to cater for additional needs on playdates and parties (as is their right of course) and heaven forbid they may feel that their child is having to offer support to or is part of planned friendship activities with the child with SEN (because they may worry he is holding their child back). Plus the general acceptance at seven may very well not last and the ASD become a stick to beat him with in y5 or 6.

I think ds is already marginalised, he hasn't had an invite to anyone's house to play for a good 18 mths except for one child who he gets on well with. He has a meltdown virtually every morning and every afternoon en route from school. He had a complete meltdown in front of the collecting parents at the end of a party a couple of months ago. All the parents watched me restrain him while he's screaming and shouting at the top of his voice that he was going to kill two other boys when he thought they had made fun of him.
To be fair, I have never had anyone be 'funny' towards me (except one mum understandably when ds had bitten her child and left a huge red mark on his cheek- but I managed to diffuse that by explaining ds has difficulties).

Well parents are curious about dd because they can't work out why she has a TA because she's very clever and very well behaved. I've had the odd nosy one angling for answers but I'm of the belief her dx is not something that is mine to share. If and when she chooses to do so it will be her decision and not mine. Dd is accepted fully, she has friends and playdates I explain she is a fussy eater with a tiny appetite to explain the issues with food but that's as much info they need and as much info I disclose.

It hasn't been possible for us to hide his issues, even though he is clever and has friends it is clear he is different.
The way I see it now is that there are two choices in interpreting his behaviour either he is a little sh1t with dreadful parents or he has a neurological disability which affects his behaviour.

My best friends son has a dx of ASD. In year 2 they took steps to help the children around him understand about ASD. They read a book similar to the one mentioned above.

I've explained to both my children about ASD and I've also looked for clips to help them understand more about it. DC1 also recalls much of the behaviour in the early years from my friends DS and now it seems to make more sense i.e he wasn't being mean he was just finding it more frustrating and has to work much harder to calm down. The pain that being labelled a boundaryless family / naughty child was far more damaging than the dx I do recall.

I can understand that it is difficult and sometimes doesn't feel right that others label or know about a dx but it is also difficult to explain to children what is misbehaviour and what is possibly ASD and the children's approach is different towards the child if they know they have a dx.

Not sure what I want to say but just rambling some thoughts down.

Dd is different too but in a school where there are many children with disabilities and mostly more affected than she is. I think because there are so many children with additional needs then her own differences aren't that stark in comparison and her quirks are seen as just quirks.
She's not the only child who does the physical literacy course, she's not the only child who does sensory circuits, she's not the only child who has support with friendships and and emotional support. Many of the children, even those without any diagnosis, spend time in small groups working on any difficulties they might have.
Every child who is on school action or above has a keyworker who spends 20 minutes 1 to 1 every day alongside the groups addressing their difficulties.
Yes dd's statement means she gets 20 hours support but children don't keep a tally on the hours and so she isn't marked out as different when two thirds of the class probably has some extra support anyway.

My friends son is dyslexic with ADD, and he did a presentation to his class (on powerpoint), which his mum helped him with, which explained it to them. He included the names of lots of famous people with dyslexia, and some less famous people (including me - I'm a scientist :)), explained why his brain was different and what that made him good at and how that meant he had some difficulty with things. Apparently it made him feel really proud of his difference, and it did help his classmates to understand a bit more about why he didn't learn in the same way they did.