Totally confused now re: reception place so called best school or the so called dump

[lala21]

We have accepted a place at an ofsted outstanding school within walking distance: 4 form entry, all singing all dancing all the local parents sing the schools praises non stop-

I loved what I saw but not what I felt - very pushy, very academic ( we live in a grammar school borough so everyone kills themselves to get to this school and then tutor for the secondary.

They have no breakfast club as it was not needed ( receptionist said) due to parents who do work having nannies - could never afford this and will b going back to work at some point/.

Have just had a phone call from nearer school but in a different borough saying they have places etc etc

However- its in socially mixed pocket, alot of working class families ( ofsted outstanding school middle class etc etc and EVERY BLOODY parent in my borough the ofsted outstanding area

the words are its shit, why would you send your child there, its a dump but none of the said people have ever looked round it etc etc etc. whereas I did and I loved the feel for it.

One friends said on saturday just gone 'god if you get offered there u'll need to go private '

I am a bit of a maverick I want my child to be happy and feel safe not pushed to the point of academic exhaustion as he is very sensitive and has some ASD issues.

This school
Its 1 form entry, green playing fields, amazing wrap around care, own swimming pool and is rated good with some outstanding features. Academically probably not as pushy and not so well in sats.

Basically DH has said its up to me go and have a look etc etc ( I am a primary school teacher excuse the spelling but will be at home for a while as have a 2yr old and a baby due in oct.) so have strong feelings and hate how class is used - DH thinks the kids might be a bit rough. BUT I TAUGHT IN EAST LONDON FOR 9 YEARS I KNOW ROUGH and am still going back there to teach because I loved the kids:

Why am I feeling like this: just a rant ps all the mums i have managed to speak to whose children do go to the not so popular school have all said how much they like the caring and family feel to it.

All my 'friends' and every bloody other person whose opinion is not needed are being so snobby and horrible so feel quite upset as I was one of those kids from a sink estate who went on to achieve.

Maybe am taking the comment personally as we were poor, we lived in a council flat, etc

any comments would be welcomed sorry to go on and on

'I think that a bright child with a supportive background will do well wherever they go'

Really? you have never heard of peer pressure, you have never heard of disruptive classes? You have never heard of crap, unmotivated teachers?

Just to add my experience, if it helps any:

My son was born in what turns out is a low birth year (he's now 10 and there are still only 24 in his class and it's been that way since he started school) so when I was offered a place in the "failing" school, I marched around the county visting every school within 5 or 10 miles that I thought would be better. This enabled me to find the school that both of mine now attend and that I love. It isn't in a great area and has a huge social mix of children but their ethos and school motto is "We Care". It's about the whole child, not just their education.

Due to my sheer determination, and I expect as I stated, the low birth rate that year, I was offered a place for him in several schools and the one I felt I should have accepted was the highest achieving primary in the county. However, when I went to visit, with my son, the headteacher didn't once speak to him but instead spent the time pointing out all her certificates and awards. I just didn't get a good feeling. I went against what my head was telling me to do and went with what I thought would be the most nurturing and caring environment. A couple of years later, the school I chose was awarded "Outstanding" and they are now having to turn pupils away too. My son is doing very well and is very happy there.

Friends simply couldn't understand why I'd turned down the opportunity to send him to the better performing (and huge!) school but I knew that I wouldn't have felt comfortable sending him there. And I'm so glad I didn't (not least because of the awful commute in the mornings!)

Go with your gut, you certainly do get a feeling about schools.