School lunches at reception

[Goldchilled7up]

DS is a summer baby, and he's starting reception in September. I'm starting to really worry about the things he'll have to do independently. I've been trying, but he still can't put on his coat as an example.

My main worry is school lunches, he's a picky eater anyway so I thought of sending him with a packed lunch, but everyone I speak with thinks that school lunches are better as he'll try new things.

He's my only child, so I have no idea how it works. Are they meant to cut food and use fork and knife? He can't do any of that, he's still very dependant on me and as he's so young I can't see it getting much different by September.

He will be expected to use a knife and fork but someone will help him cut up food if he needs help.

hi my ds2 is in reception and has school dinners. They always cut up his dinners for him. He uses a combination of knives and forks and fingers and that's fine. In my opinion they cut up his food too much because at home he always wants absolutely everything cut up for him now and makes no attempt to cut anything even things like fish cake or fish fingers because "they cut it up for me at school!"

It is also often something which may not need cutting. Cottage pie, Pasta, Curry etc.

Normally the schools have lunchtime helper so there are enough people around helping.

DD's table manners deteriorated when she started school. She was very good with knife and fork and really got sloppy. It took one term to get her back.

That's reassuring to know, I'll try teaching him to cut things up before September but I'm not confident he'll be able to. How about food trays, does someone help them to carry it? Thanks

You still have time to encourage him to gain some skills before September.

At our school we give parents a booklet with useful advice plus a list of things the children will need and a list of what we expect them to be able to do for themselves.

We expect them to be able to put on and take off coats for themselves. Can you imagine how long it would take if the TAs and the teacher had to help dress every child at play time?

We also expect them to be able to use a knife and fork, although the dinner ladies do help with cutting "difficult" food.

We expect them to be able to get changed for PE and change back, although TAs do help with shoes with laces.

There's plenty of time to help him learn some of the skills he'll need before September.

In our hall, Reception children are sat at tables with year 5/6 helpers. Initially they will go to collect the plates with a helper who will make sure they don't drop their lunch, the helpers cut up food as required and encourage the littlies to eat as much as they can. After a short while the Reception children are perfectly capable of going to the lunch queue, collecting their plate and negotiating the way back to their table without incident-they are quick learners!

Don't worry. Reception teachers and lunchtime staff will know that the children may have only just turned 4, and are new to the environment.

Although he may have dinner down his front or look like a bag of rags to start with after PE, he'll soon learn. They come on a lot in ths year - DD2 is a summer birth and is just coming to the end of reception. Look forward to it and enjoy the new experience with him.

Using a knife and fork was on the list of things the teachers expected new starters in Reception to be able to do (also going to the loo independently, dressing and undressing, and not a lot else). You have four months: make it into a game not at mealtimes to bring him on.

For example, eating jelly with a knife and fork improves coordination but is obviously bonkers and adults fail as much as children.

GoldChilled7up

Did your DS go to a nursery school? If so he will have plenty of skills.

If not - really work on fork and spoon skills over summer.

Most schools assign a dinner lady to Year R and they help - so I'm fairly confident your DS could ask for help cutting up food, etc... for a term or two. Most school dinners can be cut up easily by pressing the side of the fork down hard to be honest.

At some point your should be meeting his new teacher - my advice would be to raise your concerns.

What I will say that is nice about school meals is that you don't have to get up that bit earlier to make them and there usually is plenty of choice - even the pickiest eater is generally happy.

HTH

DS is a summer baby and starts this September too. I'm not really worried. He isn't super-confident but I think he will enjoy learning new skills and having new experiences.

He can sort of dress himself, given enough time. He can take himself to the toilet for a wee but he can't wipe his own bottom. I don't think his arms are long enough yet

He's going to have school dinners because I think the influence of other children will help him be less picky. He can use a fork, but is not so good with a knife.

A top tip I read on MN to help your son put his own coat on is to put the hood on his head, Batman-style. DS has found it easy to put his arms through the sleeves on his own this way.

Four months is a long time away anyway, they can learn loads in that time.

Wow so many great tips. I'll start putting them into practise, he might surprise me by September.

Padtsellbydate, yes he goes to nursery school, luckily at the same school he'll be going in September. But he's only part-time so he has never eaten there, he never asks to go to the toilet, and I put and take off his coat. All that will have to change.

Gold even if he is part-time they must have him outside some of the time in his coat? And take all of them to the toilet?

Our school get the nursery children to bring a packed lunch in a couple of times before the end of the summer term, and take them into the canteen to get used to it. Could you suggest that?

OP, he'll be fine. Honestly.

My DC1 is not yet 5yo and coming to the end of her year in Reception. She still (in spite of my repeated coaching) needs help cutting up food, doesn't always wipe her bottom well, sometimes doesn't get dressed for PE very well, needs help with her trainers. Etc etc.

She has survived! and so have I

Be prepared for them being more "babyish" and dependent on you at home. All that "being responsible" at school takes its toll.

Also expect him to be very very very tired and grumpy after school too. A mum of a boy in DD's reception class thought she was doing him a favour by lining up playdates and trips to soft play after school, to try and help him make some friends. Poor lad just needed to chill in front of CBeebies the first term.

and I put and take off his coat. All that will have to change.

start now!
We can't help ourselves as mums (and I was definitely guilty of doing everything for my son) but honestly we do our son's no favours.

I work in a pre-school and we're working with our leavers on these kinds of skills.

Our role-play area helps a lot. The dressing up stuff gives a good chance to learn putting clothes on and off (both for coats and for when they start to do PE) and the home corner things let us practise meal times including cutting up (play dough and toy food in sections with velcro). The same could be done at home over the summer.

September is a long time off in the life of a small child- start on the skills now.

Can you afford to let him have a few longer days at nusery before school starts? Nursery taught mine how to use a knife + fork and put their coats on.

Seriously, don't worry about your DS though. When my DS started school the reception teacher and assistant were lovely, they know they've got a class of little kids who are all at different stages.

Nursery/school are not there for the purpose of teaching children how to use a knife and fork and how to put coats on.
We have a family meal in the evening , DS just 4 has been using a knife and fork since he was 2. The only thing I cut up for them is spaghetti because it would be carnage!!
DS could put his own coat on before he even started nursery. We'd never get out of the house in the morning if they didn't dress themselves. I am a single parent so there simply isn't time to do everything for them even if I wanted to.
Wiping bottoms, going to the toilet, getting dressed, eating properly are basic skills parents should be teaching their children. A few children may have some difficulty attaining some of these skills because of delayed fine motor skills/ co- ordination problems (buttons can be particularly tricky) but the vast majority should be able to do so well before they start school. It seems bizarre there should be a sudden rush to teach these things a couple of months before they start school.

Well Done you Abby. Congratulations on your tip top mothering. Totally unhelpful to op mind you but hey I guess you have time on your hands as your kids are frying up a full English as you type.

my son takes a packed lunch. he has asked for new things when he has seen his friends with them. I did want him to have school dinners but he wants to take his old lunch bag in. he chooses what he wants and helps me make it up (sometimes) and pack it.
I have found that since starting at school he will try new things at home more. I don't know why this has happened. Perhaps it's his age

Many years ago state Nursery schools and classes did teach children how to use knives and forks and sit at a table to eat. When I did my first placement in a nursery all staff sat with the children to do just that. I also recall the nursery my children attended moving all the children who would start school that year into morning sessions in the summer term so they had lunch before going home to prepare them for school dinners.

Mrz... I maintain that teaching basic skills is not within the primary remit of nurseries and schools although unfortunately I imagine it may well be necessary for them to do so.
Bamboostalks... They have had their breakfast and are playing with their Lego while I clear away the breakfast things. I don't think that many of the posters here have helped either by essentially saying send DC to nursery for longer and they'll teach cutting up food etc there. I appreciate that parents might want to continue treating DC's like babies but that is not helpful to DC's. What would happen if nurseries/schools didn't exist. OP will now just have to get on with encouraging DC to be independent and not do so many things for him. If OP's DC is one of the few children who might struggle with these tasks due to developmental or co-ordination problems then a discussion with the GP/HV may be helpful. Mostly I suspect children are unable to do these things for themselves on entering school because they have not been expected to at home. Other's reading this thread with longer to go before DC's start school might be helped by considering the need to get their children doing these basic skills independently from an earlier age. I'm sorry if people don't like that but frankly we need to take responsibility for our own children and not abdicate it to nursery/school.