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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Do I need reassurance or to take action with a DS struggling in reception?

36 replies

hopingImneurotic · 22/05/2013 15:47

Dear all, I have been lurking here for a long time, looking for reassurance about my son. He's currently in Reception, aged 5 in May, and seems absolutely allergic to reading and writing. This is new for us, because our older daughters always just sort of got on with it, although they may have found going through the reading levels boring. He, on the other hand, just doesn't seem able to take it in. He knows his phonic alphabet, and can blend simple three letter words like b-e-d, always sounding it out however many times these words are repeated. Anything more complicated baffles or panics him. His teacher asked us to try and get him to learn some sight words. We spent a long time on "the" and "and", and practising them daily. His memory can't seem to retain it. He still can't produce them on sight - he will sound out a-n-d and the is a problem. He shows zero interest in reading, never, for example, pointing letters out on cereal packets etc. He will never write except when forced to by at school, when it's basically incomprehensible. He is on level 1plus for reading books. The rest of the class is also learning numbers 11-20, he finds these almost impossible to learn. Not surprisingly getting him to do any practise at home is a real struggle. The teacher does not seem at all worried, despite him being very much at the lower end of the class.

I'd like to know whether we should be keeping our eyes out for potential learning disorders, or whether as a relatively young boy, this is totally normal? I'd particularly like to hear from people who have had a child like this or known one as they get older? And should I be practising more with him (we struggle painfully and resentfully through a few very simple "cat on the mat" sentences a day) or should I back off and let him go his own way? Any advice gratefully received.

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hopingImneurotic · 22/05/2013 18:37

Oh Calico, that does sound hard. But on the other hand I'm glad your DD has such a good advocate in you.

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CalicoRose · 22/05/2013 18:40

I have changed school - this one is far better than the other one.

But the HT really believes in being positive and that is all the teachers are allowed to be.

CalicoRose · 22/05/2013 18:45

OP - I didn't worry In reception. I thought DD was young and the UK system started then too early.

I should have. Nothing got better later. But each subsequent teacher had lower and lower expectations of her as she got further and further behind.

If the teachers worried privately, or got told off privately, I certainly was never informed.

hopingImneurotic · 22/05/2013 18:54

Hmnn, yes I know what you mean. I think our school is similar. Everything is always a bit vague and happy. Which is nice, but I suppose I'd like more to be told specific weaknesses so you can know what's what.

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Carpediem2007 · 22/05/2013 22:01

Sorry i skipped some of the replies but DS struggled to engage with the work aspect of reception and mums of girls reported that their DD were playing school at home which used to put me in despair!
well, we know it,boys and grils develop at a different rate and not even the same way. DS is young for his year but at the end of the day they are all assessed according to class year rather than their chronological age so they need to fet one with it. Year1 is more formal and DS hated that he had to write so much down as he avoided actively writing anything in reception!
What helped us is lots of bribery rewards.

Learning to read cost me so much in small --crappy- treats but that immediate reward really motivated him.
Writing was only really tackled early in Year 1 and i bought 'Write from the start', a book recommended by his (head) teacher which helps with fine motor skills as doodle/games rather than letter writing practice. I also got
'Handwriting without tears' from amazon with a massive treat promised if he ever completed it - this was really to improve his letters writing ass his handwriting was atrocious and he would not write anything. We got him to write shopping list for Daddy, if he wanted foodstuff or pencils etc bought (favourite yogurt or biscuits that Daddy would not remember buying), he then strated writing pages of Christmas letters to father Christmas and his birthday wishes (due 6 months later!!)

He loves Maths, so at least, we never had to do games for this but there are lots of Maths games onlines, such as BBC bitesize and as it is internet based, he decided that that was cool.

Phew.

Reception is a shock to your system if you had 4 years of fun before this, even if EYF are meant to be more active, it is still learning and not just build sand castles or run in the park. We actually reduced his homework time as we were both getting tired and frustrated and he does it all in a short time before going out to play- kitchen timer on for 5-10 minutes max then we give up. And a treat if he did it all within time, no matter how the result lookis, it is the effort that we reward not the right or wrong answer.

Good luck, it gets better after a while.

Notcontent · 22/05/2013 23:22

Don't worry!! My dd just didn't "get" reading in reception. I thought she was dyslexic... Now, in year 2, she is one of the top readers.

tiredbutnotweary · 22/05/2013 23:39

Are his school to home reading books phonicly appropriate (at 1+ they would only have simple decodible words in them) or are they full of longer words that you have to read to him or he is supposed to guess from the picture? If the latter then I would strongly recommend getting some of your own books - there's lots of advice on various threads here but happy to suggest too.

Like others have said positive rewards and fun are key because it sounds like he's got the basic skills and just needs a little practice everyday. You haven't mentioned how much he likes being read to, but you could try a reading sandwich, so you read, then he reads, then you read. I did this with DD during this phase (which is very hard work for many DCs). When it was her turn she got to have a biscuit - so that this hard work was linked to two things she loved - being read to and a biscuit! As she would sound out each word I would keep re-reading the sentence up to the last word she'd sounded out so that she didn't loose the thread of the story - something which can be very off putting during this phase.

DD has a word wall on the fridge. I would put up a few words, she would blend them, but when she was able to read them without blending after blending them X amount of times I'd move the words to a different part of the fridge and these began to build her wall. Then I'd add a few new words to blend and learn. Occasionally she reads the words on her wall and a few come down to blend and learn because she's forgotten them. You can get magnetic word tiles from Amazon (of course).

There are some good computer / iPad games too, which you may find really float his boat in a way that books don't. Very happy to make some recommendations if you think he'd be into games - it takes the focus off you too.

The teen numbers are tricky! I'm not sure if you mean learning counting beyond 10 or numeral recognition or both. For the former we counted as we went up the stairs every night and putting toys from bath away every night (mainly for me because they are such established routines (you know bath and going up stairs!!)). The latter was a longer slog but flash cards helped a bit but computer games are fun! There are some very high quality educational games now, although for a long time there were very few with UK accents!

PastSellByDate · 23/05/2013 05:26

Hi HopingImneurotic:

Good news is that you are alert to the fact that your DS is struggling a bit.

Bad news is this is often harder on parents than the child.

I agree with those that have posted YR is still very early on in this game of getting a primary education and he's very young.

DD1 was also a slow starter and seriously struggled with maths. Our solution was to do more at home, keep it light - little and often and to ensure that DD1 always understood we believed she'd get it in the end.

You seem very concerned about learning difficulties - is there a history in your family? If so, then yes be aware of milestones but also signal to next year's teacher that you recognise DS is a slow starter and would appreciate his/ her opinion on whether it's just this or something more.

At this age signs of dyslexia (slow to speak, poor coordination, reversed letters, dancing letters, difficulty reading) can be quite normal, for example. So don't jump to any conclusion. Also remember that learning disabilities often are on a spectrum (mild to severe) and can go undetected for years.

My advice is keep up the reading. Reading to him is as useful as his attempting it. Do a bit of both and if he's stressed/ not enjoying it - give him a night off and let him relax and listen to you read. With counting/ adding, etc... - it may help to review these concepts with props (raisins, smarties, etc....). One of the real 'trouble spots' for DD1 was numbers beyond 10. She really didn't get the place values - units, tens and hundreds and that the numbers in each column run from 0 - 9. So we started exchanging raisins for grapes. When we had 11 raisins - we would swap ten for a grape and then our number would be 11. I explained it as you can't fit two digits in that column. So we'll have to carry over how many ever 10s to the tens column and we can now score them as 0 - 9 and similar for 100s, etc...

If maths is really worrying you consider extra support at home. We used mathsfactor to great success - www.themathsfactor.com/. Others here have sung the praises of mathletics (www.mathletics.co.uk/) and/or maths whizz (www.whizz.com/). They should have free trials and I certainly found with Mathsfactor the video game format really suited reviewing and consolodating maths skills and made practice much more fun.

In the meantime - to get an idea of what your son should be learning each year - you may want to review curriculum resources on Campaign for real education. Now the health warning is this is gold standard - so what a child would achieve in an ideal world - and your school probably isn't working to this. But it does help to understand what is achievable and is therefore a useful reality check: www.cre.org.uk/primary_contents.html

HTH

PastSellByDate · 23/05/2013 05:36

Forgot to add:

Woodlands Junior school has some really nice resources for addition/ number bonds to 10 and 20:

addition: resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/maths/numberskills.html

subtraction: resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/maths/numberskills.html

and Cool Maths for Kids has some great addition and subtraction games here: www.coolmath-games.com/1-number-games-addition-subtraction.html

There's also a lovely little counting game from the BBC - addition/ subtraction to 10 with dots on ladybirds: www.bbc.co.uk/schools/laac/numbers/chi.shtml and some BBC numbertime games here: www.bbc.co.uk/schools/numbertime/games/index.shtml

Finally, I haven't tried this myself - by Oxford Owl has advice for both early reading (which we did use) and maths and may be of help: www.oxfordowl.co.uk/

HTH

rrbrigi · 23/05/2013 10:16

I think children need to ?click? to be able to do proper writing, reading and maths. But there are some things you can do to help him to be ready earlier. Writing is not just about writing letters or sentences. Drawing also help to hold the pencil correctly, or picking up little things from the ground help to develop the finger?s muscle, etc? If he does not like to write, no problem let him do some drawing or other exercise that helps his hand develop. These types of games are learning too. Also if he does not like reading probably you can read together a simple story (you will be the narrator and he will be one of the characters) or you can write notes for him on a paper (it is more likely that he will read your notes). Or if he does not like this step back one and play phonics game (e.g.: do a race who finds the most three letters words in the living room or the most words where the second sound is a, etc?). In maths you can play board game with two dices or dominos, or counting and sharing sweets, or buying sweets from you with coins, etc? Let him learn maths slowly and deeply. The better and deeper he understand the foundation of maths (by doing it and practicing it) more likely that he won?t have problem with maths in the future.

I really think you should not force him to do proper learning (reading a book, sit down and write sentences, doing a maths sheet, etc?) if he is not ready yet. But there are certain things (games, drawing, etc?) that you can do together to help him be ready for the more formal learning in Year1.

hopingImneurotic · 23/05/2013 16:31

Thank you everyone. Very reassuring, which is what I was hoping for. I'm not worried about him in most ways, it's just like he has a mental block when it comes to remembering the visual look of anything like a word or a number. Like you say he is young, and it will probably come. I am very grateful for all the links to resources, a bit of positive input is just what I needed, as it was all getting into a bit of a bad spiral with him allergic to schoolwork - biscuits and sweets will be the way forward!

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