Does your own educational background impact on your choice of State or Private for your children?

[Swishyswashy]

My son goes to a private nursery in near where we live in London and will start reception at the local state primary in September. Most of his peers are going on to private prep schools, and it seems that most of the other parents would not consider their local state school, which I find really odd. I went to the local school and then on to a large but excellent state secondary, but I think most of the (British) parents at his school have very little experience of state education so are a bit afraid of it. I wondered if most people who pick private have been privately educated themselves and base their decision partly on a fear of the 'unknown' and a lack of knowledge about the state system?

the answer to the OP is yes ( it seems). Like others DH and i have wildly differing backgrounds, i was state primary then free scholarship to private secondary, DH was at a poor comp and stopped going in large part despite high academic ability.

I loved my private secondary, it was like a whole world opening up, and DH spent a lot of years making up for his mis-spent youth.

So we are heavily biassed in favour of private, but I am less than convinced about teaching quality, have concerns about lack of diversity, and feel that family background is the most important factor anyway.

Basically we were fortunate enough to have a choice, but I think there are good and bad points in both systems.

I guess I would like to say 'No, it hasn't affected my choice' because it really annoys me when people either extrapolate from one example or refer back to examples from 30 plus years ago (for or against state or private). But it would be difficult to divorce your opinions from your experiences in reality.

I went to an average comprehensive school. Could not have done better in terms of results (maybe encouraged to do more sciences for longer?) but socially wasn't that happy and spent a lot of time hiding from the scary fighting kids (mostly girls, not boys).

I do maintain though that the decision to send ds private was based mostly on his own needs (sen) and, crucially, mine and dh's current experience of working in two of the state schools ds could have gone to. Neither was suitable.

Ok,just realised this thread is in Primary. To clarify- ds went to a state primary and is at a non-selective independent secondary.

I am slightly baffled that people would choose independent for primary without even looking at the state options, regardless of their own backgrounds...

I went to state throughout but want DCs to go private from the start. I was very bored (esp in primary school) and therefore want a place where they can really individualise learning.

It doesn't, the availability of excellent state provision does.

I was home educated. I would not home educate my children.

I came from Germany where public edcuation is virtually unknown unless you go to boarding school or international schools.

So I can't really see a point in paying for public schools when a perfectly good state school is available. DD went to a private nursery but I can't think of any child in her circle of friends who went public.

We moved into an area to get good state schools though. We have a couple of black holes in parts of our borough and there parents choose public schools as getting a place in a decent school can be a lottery gamble.

From our own situation and from what friends elsewhere in England/ Scotland have decided with slightly older children - it seems you go state when you are confident in the quality of your local school (often very aware from friends/ neighbours of good outcomes for pupils at that school) - but when local confidence is low (large number of parents moving away from area during Y4/Y5, large number of parents who can't afford to move encouraging child to take 11+ for local grammar schools (state funded) and/or reported GSCE/ A-Level results for local schools obviously poor) it can kind of change your view on whether private might be the better option or not.

It can be a bit of a herd mentality - and it must be very hard for schools labelled 'poor' by hearsay/ local wisdom to overturn those views - but then again parents are just trying to make the best decision they can at the time. Why risk sending them to the school where only 40% get 5 GCSEs (not joking - that's what DD1's option will be if we stay local) when you can move or have them take the 11+ and go to a much better school elsewhere.

What I will say is that year after year those children who take the 11+ and fail to score high enough to go to state grammar schools in the area, often are very downcast about going to the local senior school. I don't think that's a good impression to begin with and I'm sure that must affect their attitude to that school and what they might achieve there.

On the flip side - there is blind belief, good will and huge support for the good schools in the community - with many clearly pulling out all the stops to support them. I do sometimes believe they probably aren't that different in essentials - but that added sense of secure belief in what you're doing as a school makes a huge difference to parents and children.

Both DH & I were state educated but felt that state now bears no resemblance to the schools we attended

I agree, only the state schools I encounter now are so much better than all of my state schools. For all their faults. DC1 was in private for 2 yrs for pastoral reasons; it was good on pastoral care but pretty awful academically.

Not sure about secondaries, but I could write an essay on everything I dislike in the English secondary system. Still much better behaved than we were, though.

State education for me: faith primaries (we moved) and then state GS, followed by RG university. We chose state education for my two DD's - their hobby costs an absolute fortune and there's no slack in the budget for private school and their sport. We would have struggled and that's not a good place to be in, for parents or children.

It's not intended to be a gloat but tbh, for us it's a no brainer - why pay when you can get a fairly decent start at a good state primary and then progress to a fab education for free at a state GS?
I realise that not everyone is blessed to be in such a fortunate situation as us. We are very grateful that we have an excellent GS on our doorstep, that many people are prepared to pay tons of dosh for in prep-school fees, for a chance that their DD will get her bum on a much-coveted seat in Yr7.

I went to a pretty rubbish state comprehensive, and until my oldest was 11, I would not have ruled out trying for some form of private education to be honest.

I gradually realised that my own crappy school wasn't reflective - probably not even at the time, and certainly not now - and that things I'd worried about weren't causing problems. The more I've had my eyes opened about that, the more passionate I've become about comprehensive education and the ways it's changed since the mid-90s when I left.

Piggywigwig- what happens to the majority who don't gt into the grammar?

seeker
"Piggywigwig- what happens to the majority who don't gt into the grammar?"

The Op asked "Does your own educational background impact on your choice of State or Private for your children?" therefore I gave my experience. I see no hidden agenda for yet another discussion on comp v grammar. I have already made it clear numerous times on here, that in an ideal world, there'd be equality of education for all, with a sound comprehensive school/education system - however, like you've done with your DC's, I'm allowing my DC's to gain access to a state GS education. .

I'm sorry. Piggywigwig, that was uncalled for. I just get soooooooo annoyed when people wax lyrical about grammar schools, while conveniently forgetting the downside. But you weren't doing that (much ) and I shouldn't have knee jerked.

Thanks seeker - appreciate that.

For what it's worth, I know only too well what the options are for some of those who don't go to GS. DD1 went to a school that had a "grammar" stream, set, whatever you want to call it. She was physically attacked 5 times by the same pupil in 2 years, threatened with physical violence by another pupil's mother, (he was in the GS Stream) had 4 different form tutors, one of whom was extradited, cars was stoned on a regular basis whilst dropping DC's off, our GP refused to go to the estate after 8pm when on-call and the HT couldn't guarantee her safety whilst on school premises. And fwiw, DD1 still lives in fear of seeing this girl, and I often get panicked texts and phonecalls from her when she spots her in town. Sadly the girl couldn't let the matter drop, even 4 years after DD2 left the school and we had to take formal action...again!

Anyway, I digress but thought you might like to know that I don't have rose-tinted specs or view the world through the leafy-green haze of a wonderfully suburban haven, with a GS at the end of the road.

Definitely (in response to the OP). DP and I went to bog standard comps. then I went to Oxford, as did various others from my school. He went to one of the top Russell group places for his subject. Many of our families and friends had a similar comp-Oxbridge/top Russell Group/medical school trajectory, so we do feel very confident in the non-selective state system.

My dc go to the local comp which has a worse reputation than my old comp, it is a school the middle classes flee from, but we hoped it would be OK, based on our reasonable experience of comp education. And we have been extremely impressed, it's been better than our expectations. I think my dc are having a more positive experience than I did in my comp back in the 80s. Schools have changed but not all for the worse. I think my dcs' primaries (3 between them) are also much better in many ways than my primary. Fewer old tired teachers coasting away, children less at the mercy of whether they happen to have a good teacher or not.

I went to local state primary followed by grammar in a grammar school area. my children go to private school. If there were state schools in my area that I was satisfied are as good as the state schools I went to, then my DC would be there. DH had a mix of state and private and does not have a particular preference. Like me he thinks it turns on the individual schools.

It definitely has impacted on my choices for my children. I attended many schools, amongst them independent boarding school, prep school, state primary, and local secondary all girls comprehensive.

Mine will go to 2 state schools, 1 primary and 1 secondary.

It has impacted my choice. I went to pretty poor schools where I was bored and where teaching wasn't particularly good. I wouldn't wish a poor education on anyone, whatever sector they are in. In my case they were state schools but I am under no illusions that some private schools are not stellar either.

My children go private for a number of reasons but broadly because I felt it offered them a better all round education than the primary schools available to us.

op, my decision was hugely influenced by my own private educatiin. Yes I got loads of O'levels and 4 A levels but the teaching was NOT brilliant. You had to pick subjects very carefully to get the good teachers. The science teaching was terrible or I would have taken sciences.
I teach in state and my dc attend excellent state schools.