Feeling sad/worried about my little boy (August birthday, speech delay)

[fuzzpig]

Starts reception in Sept only just after turning 4. I'm not worried about him 'academically' and we are working on stuff like getting dressed himself, he's great with the toilet etc. School/nursery are absolutely brilliant and will do a gradual transition etc. He is having SLT group sessions which is making a difference too. No other worries with development either.

I am worried that when he's in school the differences between him and his peers will seem even bigger. I have noticed a boy calling him a baby a couple of times in the playground but figured maybe it was just that one boy (he is quite 'old' for his age if that makes sense), but DSD took him to a party today and apparently quite a few of the boys were saying it. :(

Also found out today that the one boy he always plays with (who interestingly is an autumn born) is not going to the same school

Does anyone have any experience of this, I'm worried he won't make friends :( he is a confident little lad and has got much more chatty lately but most people can't understand him.

Kind of hoping people will come and tell me I'm being silly/paranoid, but if anyone has any tips (I struggle socially as it is so this is my worst nightmare!) I would really be grateful

I feel for you. My dd2 is August born and now in yr1. She has been fine really. She gets a bit fed up with always having to play the role of the baby in games - she gets comments such as "I'll be Mummy, X is the big sister and you (dd2) can be the littlest one." She's physically small for her age too so looks even younger than she is. She is quite capable of standing up for herself now though and generally works things round to her way of thinking!
I wouldn't worry too much about the speech thing. My dd2 quickly became very good friends with a little girl. I kept hearing her name "Alice" mentioned. It was only after about 6 months that my dd said to me, "Mummy! Good news! Alice CAN speak!". The child was so quiet that the other children thought she couldn't speak at all - it didn't matter though. They played with her anyway. I'm sure your little DS will be fine and the schools are normally conscious of looking out for the younger ones and helping them settle in.

Hi, I know how you feel. My son is not a summer birthday, in fact he is an autumn birthday but has speech difficulties and is very difficult to understand, he is also due to start reception in September. He is also attending speech therapy sessions, which are helping but we have been told he will have to attend for a long time. I worry too about him starting school. He is also very friendly and chatty (just hard to understand what he is chatting about)!! Having said that he always seems to make friends so I am hoping he will be fine.

I have a friend whose son is a summer birthday and had a severe speech problem, he started school last year and has been absolutely fine.

In my daughter's class there are a couple of boys with speech problems and there were a few who didn't speak English, 2 of which ALSO have speech problems. It hasn't prevented any of them making friends from what I can work out and actually the 2 boys with the speech as well as language problems seemed to be quite popular with the other children.

personality will win out I am sure.

My DS1 was born at end of August. Almost half his class have birthdays before Xmas. When he started Reception most of the class knew each other, he knew no one. He was absolutely fine, the children were all really nice to him and he has settled in fine emotionally and academically. Teachers are very alert to this. The children don't notice. Best of luck, am sure it will be fine

Awww... we all find something to worry about.
Only actual difference sounds like is his speech, and this will resolve itself; a lot of them don't speak clearly.

Just a thought - whats his hair cut like? DS would get refered to as "baby" by bigger ( not older) kids while his blonde hair was fluffy, but not once it was cut short and school boy like. A "big boys " short haircut can make a big difference to how they look.

Oh OP totally understand your concerns. I had v similar worries about my ds, who not only barely spoke/was v unclear but also has hearing problems. I was really worried he might be judged in some way. He has been fine though, he has lots of friends and in fact seems to find the whole social thing easier than his big brothers

It def helps that a lot of infant school boys' games mainly involve charging around together and as a pp mentioned, the staff are good at keeping an eye on things and making sure everyone is included etc

My twins were literally just 4 when they started. I was so worried. They also had severe speech delays and one had motor delays. They were absolutely fine. One was a bit tearful for a couple of weeks at drop off. Our school is not attached to a nursery so the school was brand new to them. Once they settled they were fine. Speech wise and academic wise they were 6 when they 'caught up' with peers. At 10 you would never know they had any issues when starting. I think it is an issue but only for a few months or couple of years.

Hi there mine as well born completely end of August and she was a behind speech wise. One year on she has caught up so much and is talking none stop now. Also she did not have no one that was going in the same school as her but made lots of friends and is very popular at the school. Don't worry I am sure the teacher will make sure he is treated like every other kid and will work with you on how to help him. It is a big step and I did like you worry so much but it turns out fine.

Thanks so much for all the replies. It's good to know that I am to some extent being silly! :)

He does have a slight hearing loss as well - apparently not enough to be the sole cause of his speech problems, but they do regular checkups. They have mentioned glue ear (he gets coughs/colds/tonsillitis a lot) and grommets but keep putting it off in case it improves on its own but I am hoping they will make their minds up at the next test because frankly if they are going to intervene surely the sooner the better!

DH mentioned it to his key worker today - the 'baby' thing I mean. They hadn't noticed anything so perhaps it was just a case of them feeling less supervised and being a bit cheeky whereas at nursery they wouldn't dream of it! Anyway they've said they will keep an extra eye on it. DS isn't even bothered TBH as I'm not sure he even understands what it meant, so I was more worrying about it carrying on as he gets older and tries to make friends.

The school really is great, they have extra TAs and inclusion support staff and SN provision coming out of their ears (I spent a lot of time there last year volunteering) and run lots of 'nurture group' type programmes so I'm sure he will get loads of help.

UniS I wish you hadn't said that about haircuts, you've guessed correctly and he has a gorgeous mop (though still 'boy' short IYSWIM) that is much admired even by strangers! I will be getting it cut before school but wasn't planning on doing it too short as I don't think it would suit him (he's got quite a large/round head... Something to think about though :( (I know, I'm too sentimental!)

Thanks again everyone :)

DS2 was similar August birthday and some speech problems due to recurrent tonsillitis. He had a massive wobble in his first week (I had to peel him off the doorframe and plonk him in the classroom). However, within 6 weeks he didn't even want me to come in with him because he could manage without me. He had some SLT which did help and he is now in Yr1 and totally confident and chatty.

Just coming back to say we had the Transition Meeting today about DS. His nursery key worker, his Reception teacher (who happens to be DD's current Yr1 teacher, we are SO happy about this because she is lovely!) and the Inclusion Manager.

Basically they are not too worried as he is making improvements in speech, he is quite stubborn at school so they will watch his behaviour. Things that have worked in nursery, like the simpler picture cues board, they will carry on for longer before moving him on to the more complicated version.

I learnt some surprising things about his nursery behaviour like the fact he can bring, say, 4 bricks accurately if you ask him (had no idea he could do that!) so it is really just the speech and occasional behaviour/interaction issues.

They are going to do an IEP for him, which I'm pleased about. They are going to wait a few weeks to see how he settles in and then they will discuss/write it. So I'm quite reassured really. :)