I have a meeting with ds1's class teacher and head teacher on Thursday (Long)

[SilveryMoon]

Try to cut a long story short.
I have been having some issues with school this year and have already seen the head once. She was very nice and understanding.
Last week, I sent in a letter about something that happened at the end of last term and she has scheduled the above meeting.
Basically, Ds1 is in yr1. Throughout his reception year, I was led to believe (through school reports and parents evenings etc) that he was an average pupil, obviously with areas of improvement but mostly, fairly average.
At his first parents evening this year (so October) I was told he was way below the national average and infact a whole year behind.
I told the teacher I was a bit suprised to hear that because I thought he was average.
I told her I was happy to support him at home if I could get some guidance on how best to do this and what sort of things to look at at home.
Got the standard answer of reading every day (which we have always done) and that she would send home flash cards of high frequency words.
She sent home 5 words and added another 5 every half term.
She speaks very negatively about him and his work, his attempts and what he can do and focuses a lot on what he can't do.
She told me at the second parents evening that he was on an IEP and that she was reporting on his progress to SENCO.
When I asked why his IEP hadn't been sent home, she said this wasn't necessary (which I know it is). I asked her why I hadn't been informed that SENCO were involved and she said they aren't .
I asked her what interventions were in place for ds1, what she does with the information she is given from TA's and how the extra intervention impacts on his learning and she looked at me like and didn't really answer my question.
I find her to be negative, blase, and unapproachable. I also don't do the school run so rarely get to see her.
When I saw the head teacher, she told me that she had looked at ds1's file and that he is progressing nicely and if he continues, he will leave yr2 on a 2b which is average and would be fine.
She also said that he was not on an IEP so she wasn't sure why the teacher had said that. She said she would ask the teacher to call me on the phone to discuss this and what I needed to help ds1 at home.
Teacher called the following evening and we got into quite a heated discussion about IEP because she insisted he was on one and I was saying that the head had said not etc etc.
The conversation ended and the SENCO called me to clear up the IEP confusion. Ds1 is not on an IEP and the teacher had confused this with standard pupil targets.
I had no further contact from teacher, no communication about what to do with ds1, so I decided to buy an activity book based on the first 100 HF words. We do some work at home, then I send it to school with a note about how he did. She never responds. Ever.
(stick with me please)
At the end of term, ds1 came home without his glasses, so I called them to ask if we could come and get them.
Dp went back to school, collected them and came home. When he got home, the case was empty, so I called back (I'm at work doing this) saying the case was empty.
I was told he'd taken the empty case in that day. I told them he couldn't have done because he didn't briong the glasses home the previous day.
This was over the phone and the staff memeber said "Mrs Moon, you are not listening to me" at which point I told her that I would come to the school with ds to look for them.
The teacher told me to look at home and then the TA said "Can't you just get him another pair?"
I was furious, but thanked them for allowing us in to look and we left.
I replaced the glasses.
First day back, teacher waves the glasses and case at dp at the door and says the cleaners found them.
Great. But I've got the case at home, so whose case is she trying to palm off as ds1's?
Anyway, I wrote a letter about this saying I was disappointed by the way I had been spoken to. I also included some examples of not feeling confident about what's happening at school.
There are some comments in his reading diary about hings that I think should have been picked up when he's reading there, he comes home with spelling test results although not always had a spelling sheet sent home (they do spelling tests every week after having a practice sheet at home), so gets low mark which will not do any good for his confidence, the teacher is still not communicating with me and I've really got the ump about it all.
Now I have a meeting with both of them and need to figure out exactly what to say and how to say it.
Am I being pathetic or are these valid issues?

Personally I'd leave out the bit about the glasses. I agree it is incredibly annoying but I can also see it as two tired people feeling as if they were being asked to look for lost property. I am not being sympathetic to them, honestly!! Just saying that I think you should stick with complaining about things that are absolutely part of the teacher's job.

Similarly, I would suggest leaving out the lack of comments about the activity book. It's not work the school have given him, it's work you have given him . . . again not strictly part of the teacher's remit.

My focus would entirely be on the fact that the teacher said he was behind when the head says he is not, that the teacher doesn't know what an IEP is. Which are both pretty shocking actually.

Balloon Yes, re the home activity book. But she is saying that he can't do things that I have seen him do.
I just wanted to show her that we are not a lost cause and that we are willing to do something to help. She was not giving me any guidance and I wanted to show her what he was doing well at home and enjoying.
I did not expect her to mark any work, but acknowledge that we were trying to help and give some pointers on what he needs.
To clear up, he is behind, but is making progress and the head said that if he continues on his current path of progress he would leave year 2 on average. The class teacher has been making out like there is no hope and there is so much work to be done. So much that there isn't time to stop and celebrate his achievements.

I know what you're saying. I didn't think anything of me sending in work he'd done at home for her to see, but now see how that may not be the best thing to do and that might be contributing to the near collapse of this relationship.
I am hoping, that all of that aside, they will understand that this is a passionate area and that my aim is not to have a pop at her, but to find what is best for the development of my child.

swish Yes, I think I will ask for it ot be removed

I think the thing with the glasses was just the last straw.
She had previously told me that he was not on levels, but still working off the EYFS. In there is something about supporting the care of possessions or something like that (will have to have another look).
And although I know and expect ds1 to take responsibility for his possessions, how much support is he getting as he has been assessed at being a year behind in every area.
I get the feeling i am now being very picky and I am looking for mistakes and reasons to get the ump with her.
It's just this on top of that, and that, and that and that. Each thing on it's own, I wouldn't be too fussed about, but all together I'm just thinking "give me a break" you know?

Hi there!
It all sounds really frustrating and not at all helpful to your DS. It is extremely annoying when you get such muddled communication. But!...drum rolll... there is only one term left of Y1 with this teacher though . That's not to say don't do anything, but as pp have said I would focus on what is now important, what you want to achieve with the meeting and try to take the emotion out of it.

So... the main issue I would have thought is how is your DS doing? Is he going to finish Y1 achieving the normal expectations of a Y1 child, or is he behind in all areas (numeracy, literacy in particular), in one area in particular. If he is behind, then can you and his teacher come to an agreed plan so that he has a chance to catch up? What should be the teacher (and your) focus? Specifically, ie 10 minutes a day you can help him with? How can you improve the week to week communication between school and home as this is clearly not working.

Good luck, and hope you get off to a better start in Y2 .

Thanks free I know, that's what I keep thinking, not long to go.
All comments that have been posted, have been taken on board and I am going to make notes tgomorrow to take with me thursday.

I'm wondering if the confusion between the HT and the class teacher about whether or not your ds has an IEP stems from whether he is School Action (SA) or School Action Plus (SA+). With SA, extra provision above and beyond 'normal' is given within school and, in our school, no specific IEP is written for that, but comprehensive notes of the extra help given are on the School Provision Map for that class. With SA+, external agencies are involved and a specific IEP is written and discussed with the parents.

Maybe. I believe he is on school action. I'm not sure exactly what this means.

how was the meeting? Hope it was productive

Well, on the positive side, we have agreed a communication system. The teacher will write in his reading diary once a week about what the focus of literacy lessons are for that week so we know what to do at home.
If I suspect he has not brought home spelling sheets etc that I think he should have, I am to e-mail the head directly and she will chase it up.
On the down side, his teacher denied all knowledge of the "can't you just get him another pair" comment from the TA. She said she didn't hear it, which is utter bollocks because she was right next to me as we were wrapping up a conversation.
She also denied telling me to google curriculum plans if I wanted to know what was happening in class.
About the forgotten spelling sheet (ds got 1 out of 5 for that test), she said he wasn't bothered about his result so is not the end of the world that he didn't have the practice

I went in calm, and was as diplomatic as I can be. I did not raise my voice, I was not rude but I'm not sure if I got my points across as well as I could have done.
But, there is a plan there and we are all meeting again in 3 weeks.
I have tried very hard to keep a positive relationship with the teacher and even in this meeting with the head, I feel she showed herself to be a bit of a prat.
I'm trying not to be pathetic and childish, but anything else she wants to tell me she can put in writing if she's just going to deny conversations.
Ds1 came home with a sticker yesterday saying it was from the head teacher. That she had come into class and looked at his work and heard him read and that she gave him the sticker for all of the good work he has been doing. He was very happy.
I also received an attainment report that, if I've understood it correctly, shows that he is at the lowest stage of average and just below. Not an entire year behind, so I may go and check that I have understood it properly.

I'm a primary head. Do you want to tell me his levels? I'll tell you where he is against national expectations, if it helps.

His teacher does sound useless. It is late in the school year now so I hope his new teacher is better & is warned that you don't take any nonsense.

That'd be great Mushroom
Ok, I have a table here that looks like this:
EYFS Spring End Y1 Expected SATS
2013

Reading FPP6 P8 1C 2B
Writing FPP6 P8 1C 2B
Maths FPP6 1C 1B 2B

I thought P-Scales were only used in SEN?
He is in Y1 atm. I was led to believe that he was an average pupil all the way through his reception year last year.
Confused!
Would really appreciate any advice or anything else. I just really want to give him the best chance he can have to do the best he can do, no matter what level that is at iyswim.
Thank you so much mushroom

Shit. That didn't come out like I thought it would.
So for reading his EYFS was FPP6, Spring 2013 P8, End of Y1 prediction 1C and expected level in Y2 sats 2B.
For writing his EYFS was FPP6, Spring 2013 P8, End or Y1 prediction 1C and expected sats 2B.
Maths EYFS was FPP6, Spring 2013 1C, End of Y1 prediction 1B and Y2 sats 2B.

Thanks notnagging I'm really pissed off it's taken this long to get what I want (guidance to support from home) but I suppose better late than never.
I feel very sad that as parents we have to do this much chasing. Well, I'm sure there are schools out there that are much better at this.

His expected SATS levels for end of Y2 are the normal/national average though aren't they?

The EYFS profile scores of 6 would be used to predict a level 2B (although they should not be used in this way) rather than the Y1 NC levels.

Yes from what I understand he is predicted to reach an average level for sats which is fantastic.
His teacher has been focusing all contact with me that he is an entire year behind and there is so much work to do etc but when I ask what I can do at home I get nothing.

4 sublevels' progress in Year 2 (from 1C to 2B) is quite a lot to ask - normal expectation would be 3. From the data, he is predicted to make slightly less than expected progress in Y1 and then has to make more than expected progress in Y2 to reach a 2B.

I would focus discussions with school on how they propose to accelerate his progress in Y2 as they have not done so in Y1 (he's not v behind, just a sublevel or so, but if he is to get that 2B then they will have to help him to make that 'extra' progress in Y2).

Ok. Thank you for that teacher I have been told all of this year that he is a whole year behind. That the first time the teacher met him she flagged him up as a cause for concern because he was so far behind. Although he is making progress and I snd his teacher have seen a huge improvement in his confidence, she has continued to tell me how far behind he is. She is not at all helpful when I ask her what she thinks I could do at home, she doesn't respond to notes or anything I send in (ever, and I don't expect daily contact).
She told me he is on school action but when I asked what this means, she couldn't tell me, she just told me he attends an extra phonics group but not anything in depth.
She implied that SENCO were involved by telling me reports on his progress to them, that he has an IEP that is not shared with me because that is not necessary.
She has been very negative in relaying conversations she's had with him, she is rude, difficult to approach, and from what happened at the meeting, an outright liar.
The last time I saw her she told me if I really wanted to know what he was learning in the class (I asked so that I could re-visit this at home instead of bombarding him with unconnected concepts) that I could google curriculum plans. When I raised this in the meeting with the head, she said there is no way she said that. So I just made it up

He is not a year behind, as long as he makes those end of year predictions. In KS1, the expectation is that children make approximately one full level of progress each year. Each level has 3 sublevels. So if he makes 1cs at the end of the year, he is 'a third of a year behind' [doesn't work like that, children are not robots, but that is the simple maths].

If he doesn't make 1cs - ie he is recorded as 'below Level 1', either using P levels or the W / W+ terminology by the end of this year, because he doesn't make his end of year prediction, then he is more than a third of a year behind.

In a way, the issue with the teacher is separate. Yes, he is a little behind (though not in Maths). However, the school is predicting him reaching an average level at the end of Y2. The school should be able to enable him to make this accelerated progress (WITHOUT you doing anything 'special' at home) in order to be able to make this prediction.

So ask what THEY are doing. Don't ask 'what can i do to make up your deficiencies - throw the question back at them. they have made the prediction, how are they going to get him to that level? The data shows him to be slightly behind now - what are THEY doing to enable him to catch up? Speak to the SENCO and the head, because it is future planning for Y2 that is the main issue, not the current Y1, IF he is to get their predicted grades.

So don't be falsely reassured by the 'going to be average' prediction - he is a little behind that trajectory at the moment, so get THEM to do something to accelerate his progress, as THEY have let the gap develop and THEY should be addressing it.

Thank you teacher I am meeting again with the teacher and head in 3 weeks to see how things are going with the communication plan that was set up last week.
I will write some notes and definitely ask about everything you have mentioned.
I haven't been as forceful in my enquiries and kept it to "what can I do" because I wanted to go in showing that I am a calm and supportive parent.
I do think that I need to get some answers now though. The teacher has caused me a great deal of worry this year, that if he is not as behind as she has been making out, may have been unnecessary.
I do not want to send my child to school for 6 hours a day and then make him do extra work at home. I would like him to be able to learn through play and continue to focus on social and emotional development at home. This has always been my focus, to try to make sure that ds1 (well both of them) is a happy, balanced and socially aware child.