Dd Yr 5 is 3C for Maths...& her English paper was also awful :-( What can I do to help ?

[Willowisp]

We've just had parents evening & shocked to find how low DD1 is.

She'd been recognized as being behind & had extra work & I suppose, because she does her homework each week (with attitude, so hard to help) I thought she was OK. I've had no extra work for her & not been called in to discuss her lack of progress.

She's also completed an English paper which dh & I were given & her answers are just ridiculous It pains me to read her answers, I don't have the test she's read from, but her answers are badly written, spelling is dreadful, no understanding or skill at checking the answers. Looking at the paper, she's scrapped 9/20.

She's a young yr 5 but her (also young for year) 6 yr old sister is 3 points from being a 2A for Maths.

I have bought numerous work book for her to do, but, & this sounds like a big excuse, she hates doing them & creates such a terrible atmosphere in the home when doing them, it seems counter productive.

She does 3 activities during the week & is dropping down to 1 for the summer term, so I'd like to get her in the habit & be less afraid of doing extra work over the Easter hols.

I've just re-read her English paper & seriously feel there is something misfiring in her brain

Ref dyspraxia she was quite quick to learn to ride her bike, has done ice skating /gym (is hopeless at that !) but for the last few months is doing a dance class & whist not naturally rhythmic, really enjoys it & when I've watched her, I can see the concentration etched on her face.

I did a dyspraxia test with her ages ago, standing on 1 leg or something ? She was able to do it, but never walks if she can skip, trot or run, she ricochets off walls & does seem to bump/knock into things & seems to trip over thin air - think newborn foal. I think that's as she's very tall, she is lacking are ess of where her limbs end.

LIZS she can recite poems & rhymes ok. I will try her with lists.

From what you're saying, doesn't sound like dyspraxia or ADHD (although hard to tell without a proper face to face assessment) - most of the behavioural things you describe are pretty normal. My daughter is also very tall and gangly and has same problem! The loud at home/quiet at school thing is also really common - I often say to parents they're quiet and they look at me like I'm nuts and say well she isn't at home!!

My gut instinct here though is if you feel she is struggling then you are probably right and something is up, especially given the low Maths score and the recent reading comp you did yourself. What exactly are the teachers saying to you when you do express your concerns? Is it just that they don't agree she is ADHD, or is that they don't agree she is struggling? Or do you think they already feel they are addressing it with support groups? And if they have her in support groups, does she also have an IEP?

I'm not aware of any support groups she's in, she was in an extra English class but no plan was given to me. The maths tuition we had a timetable & the main thing that came out was her lack of memory retention.

There is no IEP, no extra homework, which I have asked for. I think because she tries hard, perhaps they think she is ok ? I know she found it difficult to settle into year 5, but is growing in confidence. She does passionatly hate new things ie when I said homework for chores she had a meltdown, I guess she must just panic ? I think she is a sensitive little girl, wants to get it right, but doesn't & with her getting very angry, helping her is a bit of a struggle.

I'm going to ask what they think the problem is & what we can do to resolve it.

Not homework for chores...pocket money for chores !

Yes you're right, first step is definitely to talk to the school. They already may have support in mind for her, or believe it's just a blip due to the settling in you describe, but just not be communicating it very well to you. I've spoken to a lot of parent friends who describe much the same sense of frustration with schools!

Now she's not VERY low in terms of national averages (can give you more info on the levels if you need them, but basically they hope for all children to get a Level 4 in Y6.) Which may be why they aren't too worried, especially if she has made progress since Y4 - they will see this as being "progressing as expected". However, it sounds as though both you and your daughter are frustrated and worried at the moment, so that most definitely needs sorting.

Have a chat with them - your planned questions are perfect, and see what they are saying. From there you can then decide how to proceed, and whether an Ed Psych evaluation is necessary. (It is ultimately parental choice, but I know what you mean re wanting their support.) Hopefully they should be able to reassure you and her and plan how to go forwards, but if you're not happy with the outcome still please feel free to PM me at any time. I hate to see a child struggling, both as a mum and a teacher! Best of luck to you and your daughter and hope it gets sorted soon.

Ah pocket money for chores does make more sense! :-)

(Ref the getting angry thing - children often do with parents. In school they have to behave so they bottle it up. At home, they love and trust you, so they express how they really feel! And for a girl who wants to please, getting stuck is even more angry-making from sheer frustration. This is why sometimes a tutor is easier - no emotional involvement at all. But do speak to school first and get their take on it all - they may be able to help, fingers crossed!)

hi, thanks for your help - yes there is a pm available. I will see what the school say next week & in the meantime, continue with the work books, but see if I can do it verball & whether it makes a difference.

I'm blaming Friday mental meltdown for my inability to find the messaging ;)

Good luck, shall keep fingers crossed for you!