How do I help my 7 yr old concentrate

[Whowherewhywhat]

Hi,

First time poster so please be gentle!!
Myself and dh had a parents evening this week. Teachers are concerned that my son who is 7 in yr 3, jul born so youngest in class, is starting to not listen and lose concentration in class . Hr then misses questions, tasks etc do then doesn't know what to do. It's starting to affect his confidence and his class participation.

So does anyway have any ideas on how to help our don concentrate and listen? Thanks for reading!

Oops should read over message before I post next time!

Major one is son not don!!

DD (July born Y4 so currently 8y8m) has similar issues, so I'm watching this thread with interest.
Sometimes she concentrates really well, other times she drifts off into a daydream or starts doodling or chatting and then has no idea what has been asked of her.

Yes, my son is similar, and we are noticing it more at home or that could just be that we are watching out for it more!

With DD I wonder whether it could be a discrepancy between her development and the increasing expectations of junior school / KS2.

I hope that time and increased maturity will narrow the gap.

DS1 (Y8) is also going through a similar thing at school, where increased maturity, focus and organisational skills seem to be expected this term, and he isn't quite there yet.

I was a bit of a dreamer at school and quite absent-minded, but managed to sort myself out before GCSEs/A-levels and get straight As and a First, so be reassured!

Thanks three bee, I'm also thinking that he's not quite ready yet, teachers kept saying he needs to take responsibility for his own learning and education, but he's only 7!! Should I expect more if him? Sometimes I think I baby him a bit and he has 2 younger siblings but I want him to enjoy his childhood!

Feel really stuck between doing everything I possibly can to try and turn this around , compared to leave him to it and let him enjoy his childhood!

My concern is around his confidence as it does seem to be affecting him, and he seems a bit subdued..... even called himself stupid and silly which worries me.
Thank u for your reassurance, I was always 'good' arcsch

Oops, good at sch

Bugger, silly phone! Ignore last bit!!!

The only advice I can think of is to keep building up his confidence; give him some (easy) jobs at home that he can do really well and feel proud of himself, help him find some hobbies where he can shine.

What makes things harder for DD is that she has three brothers who are very academically able, and she is starting to notice despite the fact that we try not to compare them (she is in a lower maths set than her twin brother, for example).

She is also very young for her age; she plays with My Little Ponies when many of her peers are starting to experiment with make-up and watch music videos.

Yes that must be tough for her as a twin, you don't want to look like your praising one and not the other. My son again is similar, is happy to play with younger toys but does play football for local team which is good for him and plays tag rugby and cross country for school, so really enjoys that, though he wants to win soo much! Think that might be part of issue where he wants things to be perfect so he's afraid to try in case he gets it wrong, doesn't win etc.

A HT recommended story CD's of a decent length for improving concentration. I suppose it's just practising listening intently without the distraction of a screen. We've had Mr Gum on in the car. I'm going to see what the library has next.

if it is affecting his confidence could it be the current teacher's explanations aren't quite sufficient for him so he is feeling a bit lost? all teachers have different styles and like you say there are different expectations with work as they go up the school so it could be there has been too big a jump between very clear instructions etc last year and this year where they leave them to work more out themselves and like you say he just doesn't have the confidence or skill yet to do this? Not sure how you help if that is the problem but perhaps the teacher could recap a bit or check that the whole class understands before moving on if she is aware of it.

Perhaps you could try introducing a bit of erm not sure what you could call it but mature decision making at home so he feels he is more than capable of making decisions. even something as simple as does he do his homework before or after having a drink/snack/dinner etc. let him plan his time out a bit at home maybe? not in the sense of doing it on the spot but sit down and discuss it with him. perhaps he could help make some of the decisions on what to do over the holidays? he might learn to trust himself to do it then

Thanks iseenodust, I'll look into that.

Periwinkle, I think your spot on. He has 2 pr teachers this year which is new, and also the one teacher at parents evening said that this was an 'above average school ' therefore inferring that as my son was average he wasn't keeping up and they couldn't keep checking on him and his understanding all the time!

He is in smaller support groups for sine maths and English in which they sat he thrives, so j do think some of it at least, is that lessons are moving to quickly, so he loses where he is and then switches off.

I was quite surprised at the above average school comment as the teacher went on to say that if if my don was attending y school then he may well be at least middle or even at top of his class! V strange thing to say!

Good ideas about making his own decisions though will start putting thus into play and see how he gets on...

Ps apologies for the atrocious English!!!

that is an odd thing to say re the above average school. Sometimes there are years where there are more pupils able to work at a higher level but that doesn't mean the others should be forced to go faster. for whole class teaching it is the school's responsibility to make sure that all the pupils can keep up. If the class on average are working better than the level expected at that age then yes I suppose the class has to move at the speed of the majority. HOWEVER if that is the case then they MUST keep checking on the children who are finding that harder. If a new concept is explained then those who grasp it first time should be allowed to start on the work and any who are still a bit confused should have the opportunity to have it explained again. I think if I was you I would try a few things to build his confidence over the holidays and see how the first week of next term goes. Ask him if he is managing to follow things and if not then make an appointment to speak to the school and see what they are going to do to make sure he doesn't slip behind.

Thanks periwinkle, yes I was quite shocked! She did also then go on to say his class are above average but I agree, that doesn't mean you leave those who are struggling with the pace behind.

I have asked the teachers to give me a daily update on how he's getting on in a little diary which they have started yesterday so will see how that goes and work with him over the hols to try and boost his confidence, then review beginning of next term.

I am a bit concerned though that I have suggested a number of things I would do with him , not sure how I am going to achieve it all in the hour he has between tea and bed every night!! I have been studying curriculums etc to make myself more familiar, can't review everything he's done so far though to fill in the gaps!!😳

well don't over do it. you have an hour between dinner and bed. some of that presumably needs to be unwinding time for him but even just 15 minutes of concentrated work if you are clear about what you want to tackle could make a difference.

It isn't up to you to review everything he has done - the school should be the ones highlighting the gaps. perhaps you could start in the time before the holidays by asking him every evening what he has done that day at school in different classes and trying to identify which ones are the issue, which topics he has doubts about or isn't clear on. You could then highlight this to that subject teacher/class teacher and ask how they can help him catch up. he could perhaps bring home a bit of extra work for the weekend to consolidate what they did in class.

Agree with Periwinkle007. Schools should support any child having difficulty - but I have heard of ones who sadly don't do this as well as they should and I have often had new children joining in Y3 with comments re previous schools moving too fast. And it's very very common for seven year old boys to find concentrating difficult at times - the key is to work out why he is daydreaming. It does sound as though your son is feeling a bit lost to me - and again agree you can't do it all, and need to discuss with the school how they can support him. Confidence-wise, it sounds like you're very supportive of him - the school also need to ensure they are praising and encouraging him and that will help him immensely too.
Hopefully, they will respond and he will soon feel better. Best of luck!

Might be worth checking to see if child has Echolia - one of mine does, it is a hearing processing system weakness where child "re-hears" conversation over in head once it has stopped.

As child progresses through school it becomes more noticeable because the instructions get longer and have more content, thus unlikely to show up before year 2, as instruction becomes longer childs head is repeating excerts from earlier in the sentance and therefoer misses all / part of the current instructions.
When child goes off to do the work, they can make some attempt from what they have peiced together but are limited in the amount they can follow through with as they just don't really know what to do.

There might be an online guide to Echolia, a give away sign is to observe child when they are watching a film length DVD, after a short while child will say out loud full sentances or single words direct from the film (while continuing to watch) or you will see them mouthing words (watch closley as a child of 7 will know this is odd and attempt to keep lips small and tight).

Best of luck.

Hearing and eye test done recently? Worth getting both checked

Board games - snakes and ladders, ludo, mancula.

Cards are great as well, a couple of hands of rummy takes 10 mins tops

How about the What's Missing game? Start with 4 items on tabletop, child close eyes,take one away, whats missing? Add items over time, things like teaspoon, brush, pencil, eggcup.

Thanks soo much everyone for your ideas and support, am going to put a

Plan together with all your suggestions, but without it feeling for ds that he's under pressure, don't want to add to his woes!

Really interesting re the echolia, i will watch for this, I think I will get him an ear and eye test in the hols aswel , just to check.

It's interesting because he says sometimes he gets a 'party' head and can't switch it off!! Am going to dig a little more with him in this tonight!