Genuine niggles or pfb?

[SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad]

Dd is in Y3 and is by no stretch of the imagination an angel but with therapy and a LOT of hard work she's much better with only the odd off day say once a month rather than 4 times a week.

Since September every time I see the teacher wether in passing in a corridor or an actual meeting I get told 'oh she's very clever but so negative' or 'she does make me laugh but she's so negative' this is said in front of dd. She has also been telling me that dd has mad X cry or been mean to X and can I have a word.

Dd and X play fine out of school and after lots of questioning I found out that dd doesn't understand the work so has been trying to copy off X because the teacher won't explain to her. X doesn't like it and says no (rightly so) and dd loses her temper and says horrible things to make X cry.

The teacher keeps saying how bad dd's handwriting and presentation are and that she needs to work on it then sets dd a work target of so many words or lines and a short space of time so dd has to rush to complete it on time and if she doesn't reach her targets gets in trouble.

Explain to the teacher what you've found out from your daughter. If the teacher needs to go over things again with your daughter then so be it.

Is the handwriting joined up? What is her printing like? (Personally I can't see the point of forcing children to do joined up writing if they're struggling with it.)

Her printing is slightly better but they are made to stay in at break to redo the work if they print.

I think you could certainly talk to the teacher and ask her not to say negative things in front of DD, and also discuss the fact that she is trying to copy X's work, and finds it difficult to achieve her targets.

Is the fact that she finds the work difficult the only reason why she is 'being negative' and saying horrible things to make her friends cry? Do you think she will stop doing that if the teacher explains the work more fully, and makes DD's targets more manageable?

I don't believe the work is too hard for dd I believe her lack of confidence in the school environment leads her to seek assurance before she does the work ie confirming she understands the instructions before starting the work. So I don't think the targets need to change but the way they are communicated to dd but the teacher has 30 other children to sort out that won't always be possible.

I will try and organise a meeting with the teacher next week now I know I'm not being pfb. I'll explain my concerns and see if there's a solution she can suggest. Thanks for your replies

I would organise a meeting with the class teacher and ask for the SENCO to be there, your daughter's writing and difficulty getting the task down on paper neatly and on time sound like a sympton similar to my son's dyspraxia. he also struggled (still does but much older now with coping strategies in place) to take in more than 2 instructions so would be seeking reassurance or asking for confirmation of the instructions to check he had understood. And whilst he is a very bright boy this had a very detrimentaly effect on his schooling in year 3. He told me once that he knew the work in his head but it fell out of his elbow before it got to his hand and onto the page.

is your DD a slow writer with both styles of writing or just the cursive, my ds is clinically (after tests) down as a slow writer was 6 wpm in cursive in year 6. I think there is more to her being negative that needs to be looked into, and the teacher doesn't seem to have noticed.