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Level of this writing ... and what to improve?

5 replies

CurtainsForNow · 17/03/2013 18:27

This is a piece of writing that DD wrote over the weekend (entirely independently). It's similar to the sort of stuff she normally writes at home. Just wondered what sort of level you thought it was? And, more importantly what she should be looking to improve next (I realise there are a few things)? I'm asking because I'm struggling to reconcile what her teachers are telling me with what I see of her writing at home (which I realise may be because her writing at school is different to that at home).

Her handwriting is good, all letters legible and of consistent size. It's about 50% joined. Spelling and punctuation shown are hers. (I've added a paragraph to make it easier to read)

Once upon a time there were two girl twin princesses called Rose and Lilly. One day Rose and Lillys mother wanted the children to go out and diliver invertashens. So the two good little children went out with the basket that had the invertashens in. They where skipping alone when they got to the vilige they started to walk instead. these are the people on the party list there where ... Tommy, Poppy, Jasmine, Sophie and Alfie.

On the day of the party the girls were rellay exsited. They where going to turn 10! They where dancing to music when the door bell rang, they ran to the door. It was their cusens Tommy and Poppy. They gave the girls presents and said politly "can you show us to the payrome please?". "Yes", said Rose. But once they got to the playrome the doorbell rang again.

thanks for any help.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
survivingwinter · 17/03/2013 18:36

It sounds really similar to something my dd wrote recently (also loves skipping and parties!). She's recently been assessed as 1a/1b by her yr 1 teacher. Not sure if that helps?

MrsSham · 17/03/2013 18:50

Something my dd would write, I think its very descriptive if your dd is y2 or under. Surviving winter if your dd writes like this then I think a 1a/b is very low for where she possibly actually is. My dd was 2a in y1 and would not have written quite as descriptively as this with very good attempts at punctuation as this peice, she does now though but not sure where she is, I know she has been doing level 3 sats practice at school.

I wouldn't be looking to improving anything, but I would suggest her spelling isn't upto the rest in terms of context and use of punctuation. I would just encourage her to carry on. Take it into school and show the teacher. They tend to have more time less rules and a free range at honk which maybe they don't as school, possibly less motivated at school aswel.

plainjayne123 · 17/03/2013 21:05

Seems like my dd also, she is 2a/3c. Try to use some adjectives, adverbs, more interesting/varied vocabulary, connectives, openers.

learnandsay · 17/03/2013 21:47

On the subject of sentence openers, is there any chance that we're teaching our children to use bad grammar?

education.staffordshire.gov.uk/Curriculum/Subjectareas/EnglishandLiteracy/Primary/resources/Sentence+Openers.htm

Laughing loudly he opened the door.

mrz · 17/03/2013 22:22

It's a "fronted adverbial" learnandsay

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