Bright, outgoing but sensitive child, anybody else?

[Looksgoodingravy]

Ds is in Y1 and doing brilliantly academically but socially he can be extremely sensitive. Teacher said he's working above expectations but emotionally he can bring things that happen in the playground into the classroom.

Do any of you out there have such a child?

Have to say some days I find it quite tough.

I WAS such a child and have taught a couple of them (Year 2 and 3). I think playground situations are often brought back to the classroom (and not just by sensitive children), and can be difficult to interpret or deal with as a teacher.
The strategy that works best for me is to talk to the child about the incident at a time when I am not trying to teach the class. I find out what happened, how they feel and what would make it better. If I need to speak to other children about it, I do and try to ensure that all parties are content with the outcome.
Some situations are suitable to use for class discussions, so this gives the sensitive child a voice in the class and an opportunity to see how other children see things.
My own parents used to get quite exasperated about my sensitivity and labelled it a bad thing. I try extremely hard not to do that to children (I'm not a parent yet, but ttc). My aim is to allow children to talk about their feelings and ensure that their behaviour is corrected, if not appropriate. The feelings are fine, but not all behaviour is. I try to build emotional resilience by encouraging children to suggest other things to try in similar situations like playing with someone else or ignoring a trouble maker.
Help them to see that being sensitive is a good thing as it means that they are good friends to people and insightful and very good at reading situations. It does mean that they can get hurt/upset easily, but try to work on not taking things personally. "So-and-so may not want to play with you today, but you could play with so-and-so-else and perhaps they will want to play with you tomorrow. It doesn't mean that they don't like you, just that they want to do something different. Do you like doing different things?" It does take time and energy from you (and teacher), but is worth it, as this is your child's personality and they need to learn coping strategies not just to 'grow a thicker skin', as my mum still suggests.
Hope that helps a bit.

I think this is common in year 1. My eldest was bright but sensitive in infants. The school worked on his social side as well as his academic work, and he is now a confident, secure 9 year old.

Do you feel the school are supporting this? I found introducing sport was the most positive thing we did, at the suggestion of the school. He did the school multi sports club, then tennis and football. It built his confidence with other children.

Children mature at different rates. Maybe he needs more support with social situations. Some people find them more difficult than academic topics, the rules are much more complicated and require an element of confidence to just go with the flow...
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Yes I wouldn't draw unnecessary attention to it... normal part of development. ..need to be supportive and build confidence.

Thank you Ilovecats. It does help reading how you deal with this in your classroom, also that you were 'the'sensitive child.

We have tried the various 'ignore' 'play with someone else' strategies. Problem with this school is that it's very small so not loads of choice of friends.

Sittinginthesun, yes spoke to Pastoral Care after parents evening and she is going to introduce some 'jobs' for him to do within the school. Not sure what these will be, need to speak to her tomorrow.

He loves sports and does well, we had been to a martial arts class for a trial lesson, think it's something we need to pursue.

Cognitive, yes think this will just take time although ds is one of the more mature ones in his class (believe it or not) it's just the sensitivity issue which is just his nature and it's something we're going to learn to help him to deal with.

Sorry... I meant different aspects of a child mature at different rates.

Yes, know what you mean Cognitive. Ds has always been very sociable and mature for his years but he's easily upset by other children saying things to him which he knows he wouldn't or shouldn't say to others. For some children this would just bounce off them, not ds. It's like an injustice.

He talked tonight about how he would like to change schools

It's something I've been thinking about for a bit tbh although in a bigger school it could be twice as bad?

Hi looksgoodingravy:

I thought Ilovemycats post was very helpful.

The only thing I will add is DD2 found playtime very stressful - she was teased mercilessly by several children in Year 1. They discovered a rhyme with her name that couldn't fail to make her burst into tears.

My solution was to point out she didn't have to play with these kids.

I found all sorts of things she could do in the playground on her own, which she would enjoy. It may help to do the same with your son. Also find out if his school has playground helpers (other children who help with disputes during playtime) or monitors (other teachers, TAs or dinner ladies). He should feel free to go to them if he's upset.

From a parents point of view, we've tried very hard to let our DD2 talk about things at school with us whenever she feels like it. Sometimes she needs to mull it over a bit and then will tell us what's upsetting her. We feel it does help her to know she can talk about things with us. We can't always help, but we can listen and try and support her.