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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Girl bullying in Year 2

3 replies

FigTwig · 11/03/2013 10:34

Hi, would be so grateful if anyone had any good tips here: DD is 7, oldest in her class, also the tallest and biggest/chubbiest (yes, overweight), and also pretty much consistently top of the class in several subjects. She is finding it very hard to make friends within her year group, esp w the girls, and despite being tough on the outside, as she says, she finds the teasing/verbal bullying very hard to deal with - a boy called her "fatty" and she dealt w it w a swift punch on the nose (which never got reported back to us but which seemed to have solved any problems w the boys) but with the girls it's all behind the teachers' backs. From what I can see, she plays well with the girls in the playground after school, but I don't know what goes on during the school day. Especially one girl seems intent on making her feel small, calling her stupid, telling her she looks silly et.c. She has friends outside of school but no-one "special" - she feels like she hasn't got anyone of her own age to call friend. She swapped schools between Y1 and Y2. Have tried engineering friendships by having people over but although it always seems to go OK, she never gets invited back. Have bought a shipload of books to read on the subject but would love to hear from anyone in the same situation - what can I say or do? DD comes across confident in class, is good at talking and analysing her own feelings - it's standing up for herself when someone has a go that she finds really hard. Sorry but what is this thing with girls... My life for a one-off big punch-up to settle scores rather than months of horrible tittle-tattle and whispering!! Just had to get that one off my chest...

OP posts:
sunnyday123 · 11/03/2013 13:48

Hi my dd is 7 and also in year 2 and unfortunately I think girls become really mean once they get to that year! Certainly in dds class. Some days she comes home saying she has no friends too. I think my dd is similar in that she plays with lots of them but doesn't have a best friends like so many of them do, and so can feel left out at times.

Have you talked to the class teacher? I did only recently and our teacher won't stand for no messing in situations like these and gave the whole class a talk on friendships and not leaving kids out etc. our school is very strong on anti bullying and it has made a difference so I'd certainly try that first.

Also I'd have a chart to the child's mum who is being mean to her- providing you are sure that's the case. Parents are often unaware of how their kids are in class and I'd want to know if it was my child being mean!

I think its something that all girls go through at this stage but I'd def speak to the teacher so they can keep an eye on it. Does your dd go to any after school activities? If so often girls go to them without their best friends so she can spend one to one with friends she does get along with.

I just constantly reassure my dd that its much better to have lots of friends than only one or two best friends. I'm not sure what else t do about it either! I will say though that often kids make it sound worse than it is by picking up on one incident that's happened in a whole day of no trouble at all.

FigTwig · 11/03/2013 14:16

Thanks sunnyday, I think you're right, it's the bad bits that stick even if it's 10 seconds out of a whole day. Will def talk to teacher. Ours is a small school so talking to the parent is about the last thing I would do, since we're fairly new and I don't want to step on any toes just yet (and the mum is lovely). My mum, who also got teased for being chubby in school, used to say "rather a fat bum than a thick head"... DD goes to a few afterschool acitivities but she's a real tomboy so I thought I might get her to do ballgames and extra swimming to build her confidence as well as meet other pupils in the school. I guess it's just part of being a girl. DS has such an easy ride, he doesn't know how lucky he is! In my own school, the parents all knew each other and were closely involved w the school, which I think helps - if the kids know your face and like you, they are probably more likely to be nice to your children. Thanks for the support - obviously can't talk to the other parents about this so just nice to know (well it would be nicer if no girls had to go through this, of course) we're not alone in feeling a bit helpless sometimes.

OP posts:
newgirl · 11/03/2013 16:03

I'm sorry your child is having a tough time but I think your post is quite sexist - youve been dismissive of all the girls in her class - not every girl is ' bitchy' and lots are sporty, friendly or whatever. I hope you aren't passing on your views to your daughter

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