How to help DCs change schools

[Laura4041]

Having been unhappy with the decline in our childrens' school for a while we have made the decision to move them. Our eldest is in yr5 and youngest in yr1.

We have chosen a lovely school and I am as sure as a parent can ever be that it's a good fit for them. They leave their current school at the end of this academic year. The older one would be going in a year anyway so this is really like moving to Senior School a year early. The new school is right through as we are moving from state to indie. My oldest loved the school and was excited. Her taster/assessment day is in a few weeks and we have told their current school this week. All good so far....,

This evening the eldest broke down in tears. She is scared. What if nobody likes her? What if she gets some questions wrong on the assessment? What if the other children are already all in friendship groups? Will I take her right in on the taster day? Will they think she is silly if I do that?

I reassured her as much as I could but haven't slept as my heart is heavy with empathy for her and feeling bad that she has to go through this. I had naively been thinking more about how the younger one would manage and thinking the older one would be security on the day for her sibling. I now realise it's much harder at ten.

I would so appreciate any advice on how to help and manage all this. What to do/not do, say/not say? Are there any books I can get for them. The oldest is bright and would need a book probably more aimed at moving to senior school even though she will be going into yr6.

My stomach is in knots.

I've just moved my children and they haven't looked back! Be positive whilst acknowledging their feelings surrounding the change. The older one might be surprised that even as adults we feel the same when starting a new job for example.
Can you plan some play-dates asap with some of the new families? Does the new school have a liaison officer, mine did and they have been brilliant at signposting me. Have you considered making a transition book together so that the teachers have a full picture of your daughters feelings. It is harder as they get older in my opinion but do keep positive and remind her that she will be doubling her group of friends. As soon as she's made her first friend it will all be a distant memory. x

Thank you Fire.
It's good to hear that it has worked out well for you. How long did they take to settle in properly?

I did say it was natural to feel anxious and tried to reassure. I guess I need to accept I can't take those feelings of fear away however much I want to.

What is a transition book?

Does anyone have any recommendations on a book to give my eldest that covers this subject and perhaps another one to read to my yr1 child?

I am crossing my fingers & toes their taster day goes well as if it does we are half way there!

Anyone?

Where I work, an independent school, children on taster days come to the reception with their parents, who then leave. They are then looked after by our registrar who assigns them 'shadows' in their class who will look after them and make sure that they are ok. Parents pick them back up in reception, not where the other children are dropped off.

It's is just normal kid nerves, think what you are like when you start a new job, it's scary. It does not however require things like transition books! Your child is nervous, this is natural, reassure them and explain that they will be made to feel welcome and if upset at school to speak to an adult. Existing children love having new joiners in my experience and will go out of their way to be friendly and include them the only problem comes is if the new joiner rejects them!