thanks everyone.
I totally agree tht swimming is a life skill. we are generally keen that she learns, but logistically as a family swimming is not going to happen for a little while yet.
she hates getting her ears wet, and putting her face in the water. we have strategies for working towards this, and I had many meetings with her class teacher when she was in reception to pass on hints and tips to the swimming teacher. unfortunately this year she has a different teacher, and I think a lot of what was being done before is no being ignored. it seems to me that the teacher regards her as a bit of a nuisance (from a couple of things that have been said to me by parent helpers). dd2 is incredibly worried about school swimming lessons - a combination of hating not being very good at it (she is usually a top-of-the-class-with-ease girl), and the fact that the swimming curriculum is quite pressured in a way - eg in the next couple of weeks they are beginning to learn to dive.
dd2 has come a very long way wrt school swimming - at the beginning of last year she was in tears before school, and crying all the way through the lesson. now she will at least go fairly willingly, and only breaks down if there are too many expectations which are out of her comfort zone. and I feel that this progress is being overlooked, tbh. she tries her best most of the time, and if given a bit of space to feel comfortable, is much less likely to be over-anxious.
dd2 has a lot of ASD traits, and can ver easily be overwhelmed by situations. I think this is happening with swimming. and I would like to help her overcome these worries, but I dn't think the teacher is going to be particularly accommodating unfortunately. the alst thing I want is for dd2 to be put off swimming for life - I am not a keen swimmer, but can do enough to save myself if necessary, and I have tried my hardest not to pass this on to dd2 - and mostly succeeded - she enjoys swimming with us.
we work at home a lot on getting wet, getting a bit splashed. showers are still a big no-go for now, but we will continue working towards them.
it is just quite frustrating that all the work that was done last year has been virtually ignored, and she is being labelled as non-cooperative and hopelessly behind.
her report grade is D3, where 3 is the effort - 'does not apply themselves as fully as expected' and D is the achievement - 'Experiencing difficulties and may be in need of additional support (I wish!). Achieving below the level expected for a child of their age in relation to national expectations'. This is on a card full of 1s for effort, and everyone else I come into contact with says how hard dd2 tries, how she always works well, wants to try etc etc. so clearly something is going very badly wrong with swimming!