my reception child won't do his reading book at home

[bassingtonffrench]

DS age 4 seems settled at school but is noticably behind. He has only just learned his numbers and his letter recognition is patchy. I think the teacher is good and I'm happy with what they are doing to address this at school (as far as I can tell). It is the homework that is the problem.

We get a reading book for homework. Now just to be clear I am not a pushy parent and I fundamentally disagree with homework for 4 year olds but the fact is we get it and we are expected to read every night. and I do want to help him.

The reading books we get are far too difficult. They say things like "I am top dog" etc. He struggles so much, even though the text is very repetitive. He doesn't like us to help him and he gets shouty/distressed or just stays in silence. it is very difficult.

I have asked the school for some simpler books to build up his confidence, I think he would manage 'cat' 'ball' with a picture. But they have ignored my request and I don't know whether to push it.

What would you do?

I'd talk to his teacher. Tell him/her that ds is getting upset and frustrated with his reading books and you are concerned that he'll be put off trying to read at all.

It is perfectly acceptable and normal for children not to be reading at reception age, and they should be strategies available for you to use with your ds at home.

I'd read it to him and point to the words. Or I'd read it and let him read the simplest words or words he knows. Then, I'd ask him what's going to happen on the pictures on the next page.

I'd talk about the book. If the book was totally unappealing I'd choose another and read that together.
Hope this helps.

I would also mention it to the teacher. And I'd try and do simpler things yourself with him at home, as you suggest. Don't worry about it though, I think it's perfectly normal at this age and I agree that it's more important he's not put off reading.

Sign him up to Reading Eggs online, it is fun and my 3.5 year old loves it. She is reading lots of 3 letter words in a matter of months, he can't read the books until he grasps the phonemes and begins to understand blending them together.

Just leave the books and tell them why, read lots of stories he enjoys to him instead. If he turns off to reading before he has even started it defeats the point of giving him the books in the first place.

Maybe buy a set that he can work through at home like Oxford Reading Tree songbirds by Julia Donaldson or the Usbourne First Readers series. They may have them in the library.

Thanks for your responses. Yes I think it is normal not to be reading at this age so I don't know why the 'easiest' level books we are getting are so goddam difficult!

WowOoo - Thanks I think this may work.

I have spoken to the teacher in the past and i think one reason they are unwilling to 'dumb down' on the books is because he tries harder at school and they don't see the way he is at home with it ie. avoiding, getting distressed etc.

I switched the reading exercise to the morning. DD2 is far too tired when she gets home from School. Persevere, make it a game. She struggled a bit but we can do all the letter sounds now.... We have the single letters on paper cut out, and I can put them together in 3- or 2- letter combos which DD can now read - like 'dad' 'is' etc. Doing a few of those successfully really boosts their confidence and you can then slowly take it a bit further - stick to 3 letters though. I find it helps if I only change one letter for practise: tip - top- tap etc. Your teacher should be able to advise.

When my Reception daughter was receiving reading books which were of a completely inappropriate level I insisted on reading different material with her and writing about that in the reading diary instead. The teacher didn't like it and told me off a couple of times but it didn't stop me.

One day I wrote a note asking for different level books to be sent home at the same time. The note was read by someone else who added that she'd ask the teacher when she got a chance and hey presto books at the correct level started coming home. It's a shame that the teacher wouldn't listen to me but at least she was willing to listen to someone else.

thanks for the website Stitch.

Sadly i this the 'songbird' reading tree which we are having problems with!

Does anyone know any (very easy) Apps which also be good? he has a thing for my phone at the moment.

Incidentally I stuck the note on the front of the reading diary with sellotape. No doubt that's why another member of staff read it. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have seen it if it was written inside.

Thanks learnandsay. I applaud your attitude!

Did the teacher actually say that he can read the books at school or just that he tries to read them?

How about ORT with Biff, Chip, Floppy etc... The early stage books all have pictures. Also just found Reading Chest book rental service which looks great, will definitely be using it myself. They have ORT, Collins Big Cat Phonics and many others, might be useful.

learnandsay. his reading books says things like 'tried hard to sound out'

so he is not reading but he is recognising some letters. especially if the teacher is using the phonics actions.

the difference at home is that he is not trying hard. which I think is fair enough, its hard to know what to do though.

Reception isn't really about learning to read, it's about learning to want to read, so if doing a reading book every night is causing him distress, then stop.
My DD1 alwasy did reading, spellings, tables etc as she was growing up wihtout issue and it never occured to me that it wasn't a good idea until DD2 came along and said NO!
I can say with some confidence that we opened a reading book twice in reception year, and three times in Y1. Otherwise I read to her from books around the house, and she did lots of drawing and craft. On day 1 of Y2 she decided that she wanted to learn to read and she has, going from 4th-1st table in a little over a school year, becasue she was ready.
Why not take off the pressure and read to your son instead for a while? It's amazing what they pick up through osmosis, and honestly, the reading level at 4 years old isn't an indicator of the rest of his life. It's more important that he perceives reading to be fun than he actually learns how to do it at this age, and I'm sure you don't need the additional stress of worrying about whether or not he has mastered inappropriate reading books.

goodness, apologies for all the typos!

That means he can't read them at school either, doesn't it. Well, if he can't read them in school I can't for the life of me see why she expects him to be able to read them at home. That's silly. What he needs is easier stuff to read and more practice. If it was my child I'd ignore the school books and read easier stuff with him and write about that in the diary instead. That'll give the teacher a clearer idea of what he can and can't do. (Although it sounds as if she already knows perfectly well what he can and can't do if she's writing about it in the diary.)

My ds is 4 and sounds a similar stage. The teacher told us to read it first then get him to 'read' the word/s with him. No sounding out unless he was desperate too. Get him to guess word from pic. And work in phonic knowledge. She said that until he was confident in all his sounds then sounding out and reading could be counter productive and lead to him being less confident and reluctant. Wish I had been advised that with first Ds - who we just soldiered on with and who got reading when he was ready to get it. Oh the fuss we could've avoided!

Whsmiths had flash cards at one point. Ones that were based on buff and chip. Perhaps somethin like that that has one word and a picture which can be made more fun and less pressure would be a better starting point :)

My Ds is also in reception but is no where near being able to read or blend. I know the other children are on the ORT system but I couldnt see the point in doing it with DS when he wasnt interested and was willfully avoiding the books.

The school now send home lovely simple rhyming books which he will tolerate and join in with. Its far more important that he enjoys picking up a book and having fun than me sitting down insisting he listens and looks at the words when he just isnt ready.

I'm happy and he is happy. I'm sure he wont be on rhyming books when he is 8, he's just doing things at his own pace like your Ds is.

Speak to the school again.

thanks for all your supportive words.

I know you are all right, I'm just keen to keep school on side and not seem like we are being lazy or obstructive.

I'm just aware that he started school not knowing any numbers or letters or writing his name - unlike all the other children who are mostly girls and autumn born - and I think the teachers must have wondered what we weren't doing at home!

Nice to hear your story Momb! I think DS may also turn out like this as I actually think he is quite bright underneath it all, though I accept I may be deluded about this!!

I would ditch the books. And I say that seriously not as an "easy" solution. I think the very best course of action would be NOT to do the books. It sounds like he isn't ready and he is 4. It is much better not to do it than get into a struggle when if you waited 6 months it would be straight forward.

If you want to do something rather than nothing you can play blending games rather than do the books. I do this with my (just turned) 4 year old a bit. Keep it to 3 letter words- cvc (consonant, vowel, consonant) and write them in big letters and sound out and blend together. Then when confident he can do himself. DD can manage things like:
cat, dog, jam, pan etc etc

See how he gets on with this, then you can do two words- eg big cat etc and build from there.

It's much harder going from this to books- DD certainly isn't ready for books yet and when she is I want it to be easy or easyish not REALLY HARD.

Thanks Caffeine,

Yes, DS is much happier with flashcards and does quite well with these.

its just the books that make him clam up.

Then just don't do the books right now :) many children don't click with reading in reception but when it does click they soon catch up with the rest. If he likes flash cards do flash cards. Simply write that he's not ready for these books but that u are practicing his phonics and sounding out. Will try in a week or two.... :)

It seems daft that the school are sending books that are too hard for him.

As someone said upthread, it should be about encouraging kids to want to read. If the books he gets have pictures in them, then you could just chat about the pictures. Sometimes they at quite funny. Then you could try and make up a story about the pictures and then maybe compare the two stories to see how close they were.

That's something I do with my dc when they don't seem interested. I even sometimes just start to read through the book myself, and make noises like ooh or oh wow, to myself. That usually gets them interested to at least have a look at what I'm doing.

Also, don't stress about it. If he has oops at home that he loves, just read those. It should be fun and the school should not be sending the incorrect level home.

Good luck and I'm sure, when it clicks for him he'll be really interested.

Oops at home = books at home.