Need reassurance about school - its not all bad, is it?!

[mamalost]

I was planning on HE-ing DD for at least reception (she is due to start in Sept) but it is not going to work out at the moment. In the last few months I have spent A. LOT. of time reading about home educating etc and I really believe in it even though we can't practically make it happen at the moment... I have sent in an application for reception and now am feeling like a massive failure and like I am going to damage my children by sending them to school. Please - tell me its not all horrible children on the playground, nasty teachers, strict rules and pointless lining up? I am so worried about DD starting school, I feel ill just thinking about it and its months away. :(

Stripiest I am hugely concerned about how children learn, but someone else was pulling me up on the mix issue, so I was specifically addressing that issue because it was not a fair accusation.

I think that free-range and child-led learning is where my HE thoughts started, but as I am not feeling confident I also put in school application forms... but I don't have any experience of primary school here so I can on here to raise some of my concerns with school, one of which (and its only one) is the lack of mix of children from different backgrounds in some local schools to me. I am genuinely confused as to why this is seen as a bad thing?

On the influence side I am worried about bullying, I am worried about peer pressure or children feeling like they have to change to be accepted. But actually, mostly I am worried that my children will lose their curiosity, creativity and randomness because they need to buckle down to work.

Beer absolutely, I wouldn't want that either. As I said up thread, I want a mixture!

We have a sign at our FSU door saying Beware Free Range Children ...

There are children that I know who have had to give up afterschool activities (including football, art and drama) because they need to focus on school work. I would not want that. Of course I do not think that TheSecondComing!

FSU?

I would very strongly recommend that you take some time to find out exactly what it is like in a modern primary school.
Go on school visits if possible.
Once you are allocated a school place, volunteer to go in and help in a class.
You seem to be making an awful lot of assumptions about what Reception/KS1 is like, without actually having any experience to base those assumptions on.

Thank you piprabbit, I think that you are right. I have absolutely no idea. I know from conversations with friends and from some teenagers I know who talk about school and their experiences. Do you think I should wait until a place is given or should I ask to visit before April?

I agree Beer, perhaps I thought that HE would be a way to get the best of both worlds? But I could end up with the worst of both...

If you didn't go on visits prior to applying, I'd be tempted to try sweet talking the headteachers into letting you visit sooner rather than later. It may help you clarify your concerns.
Personally, I'd only volunteer at school where I had a place lined up - just because the school will need to CRB check you and you would need to make a commitment to the schoo - so it may as well be one where there is a reasonable chance of you actually wanting to build a longer term relationship.

I don't think you should worry about bullying Until it happens. Most children are not bullied.

Do you think it would look bad if we didn't have a place confirmed somewhere and I asked to look around? How does it work? Do you ask to visit or are you invited to an open day or..?

Yep, just phone up and make an appointment.

I have always just rung up a head directly and asked for a visit. Any school that said no would have a lot of ground to make up for me.

Most primary schools hold open days in the Autumn term so that parents can visit the school before they fill in their application forms.
Once the places are allocated, schools will often hold further open days and settling in visits during the summer term, just for the parents and children who will be joining that particular school in the following Sept.

You need to contact the schools you have put on your application form and ask them if they can possibly fit you in for a visit as your were unable to attend their open day. They will need your visit to fit in with their schedule, but most schools like to be accommodating - like Beer says, it's says a lot about the school if they are downright unhelpful.

Thanks Beer and Stripiest. Monday's task then!

We're always more than happy to show anyone remotely interested around the school. All we ask is that you just don't turn up on the doorstep and demand entry-simply because the Head may well be off-site/in a meeting/teaching so an appointment is usually best ( although we have had some who were just visiting the area and popped in to ask if they could have a quick look round, the Head was busy so the Head Boy and Girl took them on an intensive 40 minute guided tour of what is actually a very small school, the visitors were shell-shocked by the end

Oh and Piprabbit too!

"On the influence side I am worried about bullying, I am worried about peer pressure or children feeling like they have to change to be accepted"

But adults have to deal with this as well, in the workplace or otherwise

"But actually, mostly I am worried that my children will lose their curiosity, creativity and randomness because they need to buckle down to work."

I can assure you that this probably won't happen. DD is 12 and is still curious, far more creative than I am and still very random"

piprabbit is right. You really need to have a look around some primary schools now to get a feel for what actually happens in the classroom. When DD was little we looked around two local primary schools before we put the application form in. Check out what after school activities are available as well.

If your daughter is due to start in reception this September I'm surprised you have already had a look round potential schools. Isn't that what most parents do?

And if you do decide to try sending your daughter to school it might be an idea to get her into pre-school for the term before so she gets used to being with lots of other children otherwise school will be a big culture shock to her.

I would just like to say that I really appreciate those posters who have given me advice and shared their experience. I hope that I was able to make myself understood. I am genuinely confused about what to do. I have mostly HE friends who are of course, fairly negative about school. I have no experience of primary school here... and I want my children to love learning, make friends and have a variety of experiences... wherever I get that for them, I will try. Thank you again.

Cumbria - I loved being guided round schools by the pupils. They were always terrific ambassadors for their schools, polite, confident and so proud to tell the grown-ups all about their schools. But you do get a huge amount of slightly randon information to digest .

Good luck mamalost. The nicest thing about visiting schools is discovering that the majority of children are just as imaginative, creative and random as your own - and rather lovely with it .