is it just me that has a 7 year old who HATES learning anything with them??

[TheSamling]

She's doing fine at school, so I assume that the teachers are able to teach her just fine, but whenever we sit down to do her homework, no matter how simple or fun I try to make it, we always end up with her saying 'I don't get it' despite the fact that she's just shown me she understands by getting the answer right???!!!!

Particularly with Maths, As soon as the question changes, she's flummoxed. I know she's got brains, and that she is capable, but she seems to really struggle to understand what she is being asked to do. We inevitably end up (despite my best intentions and efforts) having a run in because I find her so frustrating. She seems to be deliberately stubborn about letting me teach her anything and i now also dread homework time. It makes me so sad because we should be able to work it out and I feel like a crap parent because I can't even teach my daughter basic fractions without a row!

For some children the bond with parents just doesn't allow them to be taught by parents! Learn from this and start saving for a driving instructor rather than trying to teach her yourself?

What is she like if your other half helps instead?

Another alternative is to eat her sit and do her homework with you in the same room, doing something else, and let her know that if she wants help she needs to ask for it, it's work for her to do, not work for the parents to do! Just let the teacher know, so that if it isn't coming back perfect she knows it's because you are now not doing the homework!

That's what we generally do Trinity, I'm a firm believer that it's her homework and i have no intention of doing it for her, but she asked for my help this time and then half way through started complaining of a headache (this is mini samilngese for 'I've had enough') and was pulling faces and generally being resistant to what I was trying to explain.

Shes the same with DH...

Hi -

an unconventional suggestion, but PRETEND that YOU don't understand, and get her to explain it to you.

As an ex-TA, many children don't get any help/encouragement at home. May be for a while just let her get on with homework as and when she wants; if she gets 'told off' by teacher for poor, or no work, she may appreciate your help a bit more.

Ummm It's her homework, not yours.Why are you even getting involved? The idea is for her to develop independent study skills, not turn you into a TA

Hi - tiny point but the problem with maths, being able to follow an instruction and get an answer, but not being able to "flex" that knowledge to a related question - that is a really common problem and is linked to the vocabulary used in the framing of maths based questions - there are maths vocabulary books that can really help here, there is a vintage ladybird one called Words we need for numbers, which is worth it's weight in gold but there are many others too.

Thanks Ferg, we have tried that tactic and it's worth doing again, I know she knows that I can do fractions though.
Snowy, she asked for help, she's 7, I'm not going to say 'no, i won't help you' because I believe that it's my job, as her Mum to point her in the right direction if she gets stuck. I'm not, as I said above, doing it for her, I'm helping her understand what's being asked.
Rosemary, that's a very good point, I'll look out for that book, thanks!
Euphemia, I did leave her to it in the end and she managed it! Glad to know it's not just me!

Snowy, apologies, I can see that my op was misleading as I Said 'when WE sit down to do her homework'. We do sit down together, but usually only if shehashad a look first and has asked for a hand to get started. Sometimes this is fine and she's off like a rocket. Sometimes, like the other night, she is just very grumpy, but also wants help because she just doesn't 'get it'