Mum in small village school just passed away, DD very emotional...

[Bunnyjo]

Just seeking a bit of advice on how best to approach this. DD is 5 and in Yr1, she is in a small village school where everyone knows everyone. A letter came home yesterday to say one of the mums at DD's school sadly passed away in the early hours of that morning . She had been unwell recently, but it was still a shock. The school were fabulous and have talked about it with the children, encouraging them to speak about their feelings with the teachers and parents and explaining that they will need to be very kind and caring to the little boy when he returns to school.

DD is a very sensitive soul and spent much of yesterday evening teetering on the edge of crying, before bursting into uncontrollable tears at bed time. This morning she is very quiet and won't let me out of her sight. I have tried to encourage her to talk, but she clams up and just asks me for cuddles.

Do I take DD's lead and let her talk when she wants to, or do I keep mentioning it in the hope she opens up?

Last year at our small, everyone knows each other village school a little girl in the reception class died very suddenly.
It was horrific seeing young children trying to come to terms with and deal with this but time has been a good healer.
I would keep the dialogue open but don't push, let your dd know she can talk to you and ask any question, however silly or strange it may seem at any time. Reassure her that this is a very rare thing and you are well.
Be prepared for some strange questions and for your dd to ask a question that may be inappropriate and shocking to you, in our case the little girl died just before Easter and my (6 at the time) dd asked if the little girl would now be crucified.
My heart goes out to the family and your school family. I know we all still feel the loss keenly as we see that class progress through the school one short. The girl is buried in the church yard next to the school, right next to the reception classroom. Her grave is visited and cared for by all and this is a great comfort to adults and children alike. I saw her parents at Christmas and they still feel the support of the school community and find it a great support.

Thank you, roadkillbunny. I am so sorry to hear of the young girl dying at your school - it must have been a very traumatic and uncertain time for all the children, at such a young age they still have this infinite image of life

DH talked with DD earlier, she had another little cry and told him she was worried I was going to heaven too (which is pretty much what I thought was her main source of worry). He reassured her as best as he could and she seemed a little better this evening, but was still a little tearful at bed time.

As 'luck' would have it, it's parents evening on Monday, so I may speak to the teacher. What you advised is what I was thinking, I'll continue as we are going and hopefully she will continue to talk about it.