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Primary education

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Original poster

Lunchbox bully

18 replies

fs2013 · 10/01/2013 13:10

I wonder if anyone can advice me..I have found out that my daughter is being teased about her lunch by a 'friend' of hers in school (she's 9). I only know this as my friend has started work in the school as a lunchtime assistant but I also know this child and have been trying to discourage this friendship for some time (to put in blatantly this child is bitchy). Anyway, she makes fun because my daughter has natural yoghurt in a plastic tub instead of in a shop bought pot. I know how petty this is and kids are cruel etc and actually was just wondering if anyone else has had this issue and has a solution which doesn't involve buying the pots of yoghurt? I tried to find a company that sells pretty tubs but cant seem to. Of course I could stop putting yoghurt in (and I do plan to talk to my daughter-as I only heard this today) but would like to hear any advice! many thanks

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 10/01/2013 13:16

I think if you find a pretty pot ( I am presuming you are not sending it in some hideous-giggle-inducing tub?) the girl would just find something else to pick on your daughter

Do they have to sit together at lunch?

Could you speak to the teacher and ask if they had noticed tension between the girls. And say you want them separated as much as possible including lunch times.

LifeofPo · 10/01/2013 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlissfullyIgnorant · 10/01/2013 13:20

"It's healthy, fresh, organic and doesn't contain the stuff yours does, which is made from factory processed fruit. It's obvious my mummy loves me more than your mummy loves you because she wants to keep me healthy and happy."
Grin

Original poster
fs2013 · 10/01/2013 13:27

Thanks for replies! Its just a plain see-through clip tight tub, nothing daft! I expect you are right and there would be something else if it wasn't this Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
fs2013 · 10/01/2013 13:33

Lol blissfullyIgnorant! That's always the dilemma, not conforming v child being bullied I know! The problem is, she's already different as she's wheat intolerant too and has different bread (though it's so similar looking I'm surprised this girl noticed)!

OP posts:
lljkk · 10/01/2013 13:39

Nobody is going to holler that OP's friend shouldn't be sharing that information, gross violation of confientiality, etc.? How very un-MN. Confused

I would have thought speak to the teacher about making sure they are seated separately. Also the lunchtime staff can remind everyone that it's rude to say unkind things about what other people are eating. You can have your own opinions but no need to share them if not nice ones.

Original poster
fs2013 · 10/01/2013 13:46

Hi lljkk. I work within the school as an after-school club manager and we (the lunchtime assistant and I) also work together there. We have the child in our club as well. I don't think she meant to breach confidence, she's very young and is trying to be loyal/help. However, that being the case I won't be taking this up with a teacher. I was really just after tips re the tubs.

OP posts:
lljkk · 10/01/2013 13:48

I don't personally give a Fig about the confidentiality thing, I just am amazed nobody else hasn't expressed Shock like they usually do.

I work as lunch time bank staff and I get a lot of silly "She said she doesn't like me!" complaints. I am still on a steep learning curve for that kind of thing.

Original poster
fs2013 · 10/01/2013 13:52

Yes I think I just have to ask her about lunchtimes and see how she feels, I don't know whether it bothers her too much or not, maybe I'm being a touch protective!

OP posts:
curmit · 10/01/2013 13:56

School is a battle ground- especially with girls of that age, if you draw attention to the problem by requesting that she be seated separately it could worsen the problem. Could you not give her a healthy fruit yoghurt in a shop-bought pot / fruit juice jelly or something? At that age all kids just want to be the same, anything different that draws attention is likely to get them picked on. Ridiculous that it comes down to what kind of yoghurt they eat, but true.

hillyhilly · 10/01/2013 13:56

My dd had the same, I was sending Greek yoghurt and honey, but she said everyone was looking and asking her what it was, though not in a nasty way, but she still didn't like to be so different.
You can get some clip it pots in bright pink and other colours but as you say, it would be something else if it wasn't that.
Personally I like the reply about my mummy loving me enough to ensure I eat good food but I'm not sure I'd advocate my dd saying it!

Original poster
fs2013 · 10/01/2013 18:23

I like that post too hillyhilly! but it's ok, I had a chat with her this eve and it's all sorted now. Luckily she doesn't mind what other people think of it and shes happy so phew! Thanks all for your advice Thanks

OP posts:
Startail · 11/01/2013 14:15

I'm afraid you need to teach your DD the fine art of ignoring idiots.

Girls 9-13 can be vile and unspeakably petty.

If you change some aspect of your lunch, they'll tell you your school bag is wrong, if you get a new school bag your trousers are too short, too long or to high on the waist. Oh and you must wear make up and tie your tie just so- both against the rules.

Nothing DD1 did was ever going to be right. As parents our job is to accept this and give our DCs the confidence to ignore petter peer pressure, while watching and telling school if it becomes bullying.

BlissfullyIgnorant · 15/01/2013 18:56

DS had similar; 'you don't play COD/18+ video games cos you're lame/a baby/gay'
"Tell them they're only allowed to play those games cos their parents are using it as a babysitter and they don't care about them" or "then their parents don't know they're doing it and its no different to lies and deceit."
The 'gay' thing was a different discussion entirely Hmm

piggywigwig · 15/01/2013 19:19

BlissfullyIgnorant
I like the cut of yer gib !Grin

I wouldn't get her separated from the girl at this point.

I agree with everyone who says that girls of that age are so mean and that if it wasn't the yoghurt pot, then it would be something different. We actually had the exact same thing over yoghurt Angry It's okay to be different and we've tried to encourage our DD's to accept, be confident and know that you don't have to follow the crowd. We chose to send her in with yoghurt and honey in a sealable pot for a variety of reasons but the most pc, was that it was more environmentally friendly, especially as our local council won't recycle a huge list of things. We advised DD to mention the recycling/environmental issue and as that's a huge focus for her green award school;, it seemed to work. Much as we'd have liked her to have said something along the lines of what BlissfullyIgnorant has said, we told her that it was probably a case of "least said, soonest mended" with someone who felt compelled to be so mean Wink It's okay to think it, especially if it makes you feel a little better when someone has tried to make you look small. Wink

It has made her stronger and more equipped to deal with some of the more prevalent low-grade bitchiness that goes on in her class.

Crouchendmumoftwo · 15/01/2013 19:57

Buy her a yoghurt like all the other girls.

Yfronts · 15/01/2013 22:24

I think you should continue sending in your healthy lunches (I do) but talk to the teacher about seperating the girls. I have a 9 year old step daughter and there are many many nice girls in her class - only a small number of mean girls. I also talk to my SD and explain that the mean girls have issues - need to put other people down to look good etc...

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