DD is a clever dreamer...

[airedailleurs]

I would really appreciate any help you can give me to get my DD to concentrate at school.

She is in year 4 and is very bright, however her performance at school last term dipped and, according to feedback from her teachers, she didn't really "engage" in lessons and did not fulfil her potential due to switching off and day-dreaming in lessons and not really focussing.

I don't want to quash her active interior life (!) but want her to do herself justice academically.

I have 2 of those at home... both known as "dolly daydreams" til youngest went to Y6, and eldest went to Y7 then something clicked and both really apply themselves to their work now.... so, I know it sounds trite, but, it may just be a phase.....

yes I had thought that, she is really growing atm and my instinct says that all her energies are going into that. I hope we are right! Thanks for posting

I used to be the same. But I did grow out of it - in that I know when to daydream and when not to. I could never not daydream.

I think ds is heading the same way, so I hope my theory is right.

lol thanks Primrose, how old were you when you grew out of it btw?

It takes all sorts to make a world and the dreamer child may become a great writer. We are not all vastly ambitious and keen to be top of the pile Good luck

yes, you are right pickety, but the academic pressure is due to her being the recipient of a scholarship :-(

So are you worried about her doing herself justice academically in the traditional way because you are worried about her losing the scholarship, or because that's how you (not the school) feel she should respond to her education?

Because if it's the former, and you don't mind her finding her own path except for the financial aspect, then you do have a bit of an issue.

hi Gelo, I was expecting someone to say this, and maybe the way I worded my last post led you to think it.

The reason I am concerned is that this is a RECENT thing (last term); in year 3 her grades were good and although she had a tendency to daydream, there wasn't any problem at all in terms of her not doing herself justice (i.e. her results reflecting her ability).

Have you also considered that she may be daydreaming because she is bored and not being stretched to her potential within a lesson, so switches off?

yes I have, but there are some very clever children in her class who ARE achieving good results, so there is stretching going on. We moved her to this school precisely because we felt she wasn't being stretched in her old school. It's frustrating as I am not actually IN the lessons so I don't know what is really going on! One thing that a few of her teachers have said is that she works slowly, which is surprising as she thinks quickly!

I just want to help her get the most out of school without putting undue pressure on her

My daydreaming son sort of " clicked" when he was around 10.

It has taken him a long time to be " ready" for school, he still strugles with having to be in class all day when his dream is being a botanist or a fisherman, and being outside most of the day.

Sometimes I think you should leave kids to just be who they are, maybe a bit of gentle steering.

It is a long day, and they are still so yoing really.

She will probably click in her own time, not that mich you can do really, if you think about it.

thank you Chandon, I realise everything you say, but we want to help our kids don't we, and if there is anything I can do that would help even slightly I would like to do it

Dd2's like that, also in year 4. Problem I'm having is that she dreams more if the work's easy, and she's not being stretched at all, so she dreams more...

She had a good teacher in year 2 who was very good at helping/understanding her, but last year and this year just seem to think if she's written a couple of lines then that's all she's capable of, and she is quite happy with that-it means that she gets praised for writing three lines

It's not helped by her older sister was a school's dream, clever, neat, organised, always worked hard, joined in everything, got all the awards-and was bullied for it.
So dd2 has both got that she's not getting the awards/recognition and feels that she'll never get up to dd1's standard, plus she doesn't want to be bullied for working hard etc. so has that for lack of motivation. I know from doing stuff at home that she is at least as capable as dd1. Am planning on going in and having a long talk with the head shortly.

I'm not sure she will click in her own time, because she quite likes being able to put in a minimal amount of effort and get praised for that. She also has a worry of "what if I work hard and I still don't get the recognition dd1 gets"-which I suspect she won't.

The silly thing is, at home she loves being given challenging work-she's been doing dd1's homework since dd1 was in year 2 and she was preschool. But put her in school and she dreams her way through, and does the minimum.

frustrating isn't it DeWe? My DD's work isn't bad, and some of it seems to be pretty good, but it's all about getting her to apply herself and finding what motivates her.

update - DD now snapped out of daydreaming mode at school - thanks for your input everyone!

I used to be this way too, all my early school reports say pretty much the same, bar the lessons I was really interested in & the ones where teachers were good at what they taught - it was boredom, pure & simple, despite most of my primary junior years reports telling the same, I still picked up enough knowledge to fly through my 11+ - this was years ago of course, but I can still see this in my own DD too, if shes bored, she day dreams, though thankfully it's not really been an issue for her, as her school have been very good at spotting this & engaging her more - shes G&T register & according to my Uncle who was a Head for many years, this is quite common amongst very bright kids who are well behaved, but bored in class.

rockin, yes nail on head there, the Head has had a word with DD's teachers and they are keeping her more focused now.

I was actually very similar to my DD at school and things went really off the rails at A'Level for me, and I desparately want to avoid the same thing happening to her

That was quick - well done her! Did you ever figure out what caused the dip?It's worth remembering that most children do get distracted for one reason or another from time to time, but not a problem if it's a temporary thing.

yes I really believe it was due to a big growth spurt. she said once last term she just stood watching her feet at playtime and was convinced she saw them growing! I think all her energies were consumed by the growing process. She is like a different child this term thank goodness! thanks for your concern x

My dd year 4 daydreamer too but good at art and creative stuff. She does want to be a much higher level though and set herself a high target. I am sure she will do it when she needs to as have seen her in an acting environment when she really engages when in exam or performance.