moving schools

[Dillie]

I am in the process of leaving stbxh and looking at the possibility of moving area to be closer to friends. My family are in London, but there is no way I can afford to live down there :( so looking to move to the Cardiff area from the Midlands.

My question is I don't really know how to approach the idea with my dd. She is 7 yo and a bright sensible kid, but I am worried about how she will adjust. She is happy at her school and has a few good friends.

I feel bad about moving, but I have nothing keeping me here other than her friends, school and my guilt!!

So how do I approach my DD? Do I discuss it with her or just go for it and hope in time she will adjust?

I am probably over thinking this, but I want to do what its best for her and me.

Children at that age will quickly make new friends, it's an issue for you, not for them! (don't forget they can use Skype/email etc to keep in contact I'd they want)

I would make the decision yourself rather than discussing it, but then once the decision is made I would tell her and be ready to chat about what it means for her. It's the sort of thing she might want to digest and come back to you to chat about a few times. Of course it will take her a while to make new friends etc but it won't be a problem for her in the long run.

Think very carefully - if you discussed it with her and she said 'No way!', what would you do then? In that scenario, it would be even worse to go ahead and do it anyway. If you want to discuss it, you would have to be willing to concede to her point of view.

Basically, I think it places too much responsibility on a child to make a decision about something that they don't really know about. They might then also feel responsible for your unhappiness if you did what she wanted, but not what you wanted.
Do all your research, find the area, find the school, find the home, and then when everything is arranged, tell her about a couple of months before you go. Then she has time to say her good byes, visit the new school and area and get used to the idea, but not long enough to dwell on what she has lost and worry about what is to come ahead. Be prepared to put in a good amount of time in the beginning to build new relationships, for her with new friends via playdates and for yourself with other parents and people in the community.