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Primary education

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Original poster

Visiting New School - Do You Tell School

15 replies

123littlepigs · 27/12/2012 00:45

As the subject line basically says. My DC will be spending the day with a school we are considering moving them to in the New Year. Do we tell the school this or make up some excuse why they won't be in school the next day?

If no to the truth, what, if anything, did you replaced it with in your experience?

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LaBelleDameSansPatience · 27/12/2012 07:28

If you don't tell the school, your DC will, either before or after. In my class I have always known before the parents have informed the school. They can't resist sharing a huge piece of news like this with friends/teacher. And it is HUGE for a child; even more so than for the parents.

cumbrialass · 27/12/2012 08:51

And the Head of the prospective school will already have phoned the Head of the current school to discuss the why's and wherefore's of the situation, so there is little point in not doing so!

mrz · 27/12/2012 09:29

I agee! Schools talk to each other so I imagine the current school know your child has been invited to spend the day.

auntevil · 27/12/2012 11:32

Are your children actually spending the day, or doing a tour around?
We have recently had a lot of children looking around from other schools to see if they want to move. Several of the parents have said that they do not want to give their names as they do not yet want the school they are at to know that they might move.
Agree with La Belle Dame that your DCs might save you the trouble of saying anything. Most children are very poor liars (even white lies )

bluebiscuit · 27/12/2012 11:38

I'd just tell the truth. Agree that schools talk to each other anyway.

Original poster

123littlepigs · 28/12/2012 00:07

Ok.... Well that does seem to answer my question. Was hoping to get away with a days assessment and have time to talk about it with DH and DC before notifying the school. One child is very outgoing and we don't see there being any problems there, but the other is where we do. Very happy with current school but trying to find a best fit for two very different kids that is logistically possible to maintain.

Do you know if the school will look negatively on this when they find out? (not sure it makes any differents, but it is a private school I'm posting about).

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Original poster

123littlepigs · 28/12/2012 00:14

That was difference

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mam29 · 28/12/2012 00:46

I told old school she was sick.
swore dd to secrecy which she kept as said mummy and daddy not made up minds.
prosepective school did not contact old school.

However my thourghtful lea did as had to do mid year inter transfer and got offer letter sent in post which was emailed to new school and copied in old school.

Tried to book appointment with head old school to discuss as assumed wouldent be informed until offer accepted and dident wnat them to find out that way but he fobbed me off with deputy heda who said dident realise im leaving, if unhappy maybe for the best!

Im just glad we left,

Dromedary · 28/12/2012 01:00

I would tell the old school, being as polite and positive about the old school as you can. If they find out another way, they will be much more put out. If you are definitely changing schools, it won't matter much, but if you may change your mind, it will. And the old school is more likely to say nice things about your children to the new school if you have been politely honest with them.

GW297 · 28/12/2012 02:07

The independent school will ring the state school so it is better protocol for you to tell them yourself in advance of the visit. You are simply exploring your options and doing what you think is best for your children. You have nothing to be secretive about.

SchoolFool · 28/12/2012 19:36

We mailed to say the kids had an appointment and the kids agreed that they wouldn't say anything until we had decided to leave for sure.
As one child had had a succession of supply teachers, no-one even asked. The new school did not call but asked to see previous reports.
Moving was the best decision we ever made!

Original poster

123littlepigs · 29/12/2012 00:29

To be honest the new school have asked us to let them know when it will be ok for them to contact our present school. So while I feel assured by them that they won't officially do so, reading posts from cumbrialass and Mrz my worry is that unofficially this may now happen anyway.

It's not that we want to be 'secretive' about the whole thing, but more that we'd rather not deal with any addition questions from present school when we haven't even made our own minds up.

Once the decision is made then we have no problem to present school knowing. We have to give a terms notice to leave anyway so it's not like they'll be shocked by the news and move all at once.

I suppose am also trying to avoid any negative impact this may bring from present school. DC1 has always expressed a desire to be apart of the school choir and if selection were to occur whilst we were making our decision this may mean not being included this year.

OP posts:

GW297 · 29/12/2012 01:26

If both independent schools they are run as businesses and you are a customer free to spend your money on the service that best meets the needs of your children and review as you see fit. Lots of people give notice at independent schools each term for any number of reasons. You need to be careful if the new school is selective and you are worried that one of your children may not get in though.

Laura0806 · 29/12/2012 16:30

im sure the new potential school wont have talked to the present school given what they said to you. Remember its your custom they want, they are not going to risk annoying you, its a competition to get your business! We did it and the school had no idea until we told them so dont worry too much and take your time as its an importnat decision x

Paddlinglikehell · 29/12/2012 23:40

I agree with Laura they won't say anything, especially if you have requested it. Ours didn't even contact the old school as far as I know. I explained I didn't want to upset things with the old school and being on the PTA committee, it was all a bit difficult

We did the same thing with state to private and didn't tell school, just phoned on the day to say we had an appointment. Dd only knew a day or so before, so it wasn't a big deal to her beforehand.

When we received the letter confirming a place a few days later, although they had told us the same day. I asked to see the head and she intimated that she new what it was about. Apparently when they called the register on the day she was off, one of her friends said she had gone to a new school! No secrets in the classroom!

We moved, so I content now what they would have been like if we stayed. The head seemed disappointed we were going, but who knows!

Best of luck with it all.

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