How important is it to go to a school near you?

[aufaniae]

Having trouble deciding primary school choices.

We're got our first choice sorted, it's our second nearest school. We have a good chance of getting in, but it's very popular so not guaranteed; we need to consider our other choices seriously I think.

For second choice, I'm trying to decide between two schools. Let's call them "nearest school" and "nicer school".

"Nearest school" is rated Ofsted Outstanding, and has a good reputation in the town but I absolutely hated it when we visited. I found it too formal (they seemed totally unaware of EYFS), very Christian (we're atheist), and stifling of children's creativity. I wrote two threads about it at the time: this one and this one (I have since found out we have a better chance of getting the one we want).
I'm still considering however it would mean that DS had friends locally. Most of our neighbours kids will probably go here as it's got a good rep. We could walk to school. It's only for infants, not till he's 11. Perhaps he won't get the teacher I saw and particularly thought was awful?! (There are 3 reception classes). He has a friend at the school already. And if it's "Outstanding" it can't be al;l bad, can it?

I really liked "Nicer school". It was lovely, and had the warmth and creativity that "Nearest school" lacks IMO. However it's a fair journey. Would mean DS has no school mates who live locally. Also would mean DP having to talk him by car, about a 20 minute journey (including faffing with parking, not easy there), or me by bus (30 minutes including walking to bus stops).
I went to a primary school which was half an hour from me. I did feel I missed out on having friends locally. However I have very fond memories of my primary: it was a wonderful school. Was it worth not having friends near me?Quite possibly.

Although further away, we're in with a chance of getting a place at "Nicer school" as there's a fair bit of local snobbery about the school. It used to be a rubbish school years ago, and old reputations have been hard to shift, despite glowing Ofsted reports and - if you actually visit the school - it's obvious to see, a lovely environment to learn in. Also it tends to be the school where the non-white children go (there's a bit difference in the make-up of the two schools" and I suspect this puts some racists parents off. I've often heard "you do know there are lots of children who speak English as a foreign language there" But hey, that means more chance that we can get in, and my child won't be attending school with racists - so it works for us! He has a friend already at this school also.

I'm really torn. It seems to make no sense to send DS to a school so far away, and much more sense to go to the local school. But I left it feeling . I have serious reservations about it. I think he'd be much happier at "Nicer school" but what about having friends locally? Isn't that important too?

Sorry for the essay! If you've read all that, thanks so much!

Any advice would be much appreciated, I'm going round in circles!

I'd go to the nicer school and get her into brownies or something near by so she will meet more friends in the immediate area. You will probably also find that you are not the only person that travels. My kids go to school 20 minutes away, and our nearest neighbour is a mile away. Doesn't bother them in the slightest - they still have playdates/parties and all the other bits and pieces. I'd go with your gut feeling with the school - you are going to be spending alot of time there and it's a good idea to go in feeling excited about it, rather than cautious as, although you wont say anything, she will pick up on your (even minor) anxieties.

Thanks :) Do you think there's anything int he argument that the nearer school if rated "outstanding" so it must be a good school? Perhaps I just got a bad impression? (Was there 2 hours and allowed to wander round and visit classes).

Or is gut feeling and ethos more important that Ofsted ratings?

It's occurred to me that if we chose "nicer school" and I do the school run while still working from home, it'll mean 2 hours travelling a day, just to work at home! Does this make sense? Would we all have a better quality of life if DS was at the nearer school.

Should I be considering these things, or is it simply important that DS goes to a school that suits him?

Normally I would say go for the nearer school BUT not in this case. Other school sounds much better. Will distance/ travel cause you problems?

I agree with sunflowers, my normal stance would be local school all the way however from the discription a you have given and your previous threads I do think in thus case the school further away is the better fit.
If the school run would be possible (for me it was village school or nothing as I can't drive for medical reasons, there are no busses and dh leaves for work too early and gets back too late to do a school run) I would go for it, local friends can be found through clubs and sports or just playing out in the local park.

Have the same dilemma op and its hard isn't it? Although with me, neither school is driveable due to our location, however one is much nearer and is our nearest school. I liked both schools but have some reservations about the nearest one mostly to do with size of year groups, space and opportunities after school. But my biggest worry is that going for the further school (20 mins away) will prove to be an issue with friendships/lack of community although not really part of a community as it is.

I posted on here about it actually and recieved some great advice and opinions from others who have chosen both options. But the thing is no one can actually answer the question for us as is such an individual and personal choice. I've read about people who take their DCs to a school further away and have no issues about community and those who regret it and feel their children have suffered.

The only thing that I wonder makes a difference in my situation is that we don't live in an area where any DC walk to each others houses, play out after school etc ( very rural) I might be more swayed if school was in walking distance and we had lots of neighbours.

based on info you gave about both schools

and your person info

athiest
dident like school on visist

some oustanding schools can be awful
many schools being downgraded in latest visits.

no nicer school

20mins is not miles.

maybe im flipping antisocial and possibly depends on geographic location

ie diffrent towns/villages as diffrent nearby suberbs in city.

but can honestly say we dont do that much mixing outside of school.

when dd went to nearest school we did have few freinds over for tea
many went to local nearest rainbows near us was mix of kids from lots diffrent schools her gyms the same she likes knowing lots of people.
she has 2good freinds that go diffrent schools.

As for mix both schools have intake from wide area so not everyones local anyway.

parties found most parents picke dsome obscure locations no where near wher we lived or school.

dds new school is 15min drive , 30min walk and shes much happier.
I believe a couple do live near us but dont know them yet.

On the face if it I would usually suggest putting schools in order of your preference; so your first choice would be second nearest(as you have already decided), the second would be the nicer of the two other schools and your third would be the nearest school. Assuming you are in England, you are not prejudiced for putting a school as second or third choice - allocations are made based on the admissions criteria for that school. I believe the advice from the experts is to always list your catchment/nearest school as one of the preferences, just in case.

Having said that, I think a 20-30minute journey is a long way to travel to, and from, school every day. If I were you, I would also be considering if this extra cost for travel is something you can easily afford for the next 7 years? What impact would it have on your working lives? Only you can judge whether the nearest school is somewhere you would realistically be fine with sending your DS. It might only be an infant school, but 3yrs is a long time. Another consideration would have to be how near the local junior school is to the infant school (is it next door, or further away?) as your distance from that could affect your DS come Yr3 transfer - especially if the junior school is also very well considered in the local community.

Good luck, OP. We were in the lucky position of loving DD's catchment school when we visited and, now she's in Yr 1, we still love the school. For us, because we live in a very rural community, I am glad we loved the catchment school, it makes birthdays, playdates and even school events much easier to get to/organise.

consider a 2 hours a day commute in the snow. Half an hour on the bus each way will take considerably longer in bad weather, and may also be longer at school run time of day too - have you tried it then?

It may well be that the further school would suit you better, it sounds like it would, but is it worth giving the closer one another visit? You might get a different impression - or you might get your feelings confirmed and decide the journey and potential lack of local friends and school run shares (really usefuk if you yourself or other children are poorly) is worth it.

aagh useful

Ds doesn't go to a local school. It is a pain for playdates and birthday parties. If I take him to either I usually end up staying as it is too far to drive home again and go back. School is 20-30 mins drive depending on traffic. Some friends live near the school, others live 10-15 mins from school but the other direction from us. That means a 45 min drive so no point just dropping and going as I would have little time at home before I had to leave and pick up.

Ds does nearly full weekly boarding and before he started doing that he was a day boy and the 2.5 weeks I did the journey daily nearly drove me nuts (and I was only dropping off, not collecting). I can't imagine what it would be like to do the drive four times a day in bad weather (or in any weather tbh).

Also whilst the drive is 20-30 mins it actually means 30-45 as you need to allow extra time in case there is more traffic than usual. Ds's previous (day) school was a 7 min drive cross country so never any traffic.

Speaking as an atheist who sends her children to a CofE infant school because it is our closest school, I'd say:

1. Living v close to your school is massively important for us
2. You will always find some kindred spirits even if some of the general ethos and/or school gate mums aren't your cup of tea.
3. The religious stuff will drive you mad
4. but you'll put up with it because it's still a good school, and let's face it, it's only for three years, and you won't be spending hours in the car every day.
5. I don't regret our choice at all, even though I'm sure there are other more wonderful schools further away. I do feel massively part of the community now, which I didn't before.
6. I still am massively anti faith schools as a concept but because my children got in under distance criteria and it's our village school I was willing to put up with it
7. My son was a Christian in YR, a muslim in Y1, and became an atheist in Y2 ;)

I would really consider going for your local one. I think in most cases, unless your local option is awful, it is usually the better option.
You haven't mentioned other DC's but it is worth bearing in mind also. I do feel quite sorry for all the little babies in my town who are being carted around in a car for 2 hours a day just for doing school runs.
I think, being able to walk to school is so important. Lots of studies point to the importance of exercise in helping prepare the brain for learning - a walk to school is great to wake them up also. Being stuck in traffic with a potentially quite stressed parent is perhaps not so good for them.
I also think you need to think of all the school activities and events that go on. School discos that start an hour or so after school, etc. There are some nights I feel like I am constantly going to and fro but at least its only 10 mins away.
Cost too is a factor. 4 trips a day in a car for short journeys will soon mount up - in petrol and wear and tear on your car.
I would definitely say you should go and have a better look at the nearer school just to see if it is bad enough for the other option to really be worth it.

We went for the nicer school when we had pretty much the same dilemma except for us it was for choice 1 and 2.