Reception year and friendships

[drcrab]

My DS started reception year in September. He had been in nursery since he was 7 months old. He's had many friends at nursery. 5 people from nursery go to the same school as he now and he's pretty good friends with 2-3.

Other than that he's friends with other kids in his class, next door and older kids (on the playground or afterschool club).

Today he said that he didn't go to quiet play because it was too busy. So he went back to his room. But I guess all the other kids were playing with others. I asked who he played with. He said I couldn't find someone to play with and X wasn't around and my eyes cried a little. I was so sad upon hearing that.

He is a popular kid or so I think. Kids are always saying hi or bye to him in class. They wave at him as he scoots past them. His teacher said at parents evening that he was friendly and had friends but no best mate. I thought that's ok for reception!! He did have a best mate and other good friends at nursery but they all go to the other school. He does see these friends on the weekends though.

What can I do??

Thanks. He didn't seem upset when he said this. But it made us feel so sad hearing it!!! I feel so guilty too because we both work full time and I feel I have no time to spend with him. My dd is 2 and also in nursery and every spare time I have goes to cooking and washing!! And homework...!

I'd also say totally fine.
Unless there is other signs that he is not fitting in I would relax.

Also remember that you may not get the whole picture. "No one would play with me" might be the case for 5 minutes but he was happily playing with others the rest of the time. In my DD's case it also tends to mean "no one would play my game exactly as I wanted it played so I decided I didn't like them any more". Friendships are very up and down at that age.

I also think it's fine but I understand exactly how you feel.

To give you another example my reception DS came home from school the other day saying that he didn't have anyone to play with at lunch time. A series of panicky questions later it turned out that he'd finished his lunch before his friends so had to hang round and wait for them.

Thank you all for your reassurances. I spoke to his teacher this morning (she is a really caring sort) and she totally understood where I was coming from. At the car park he spotted his friend X and was really excited. So all is well.

We are also having a play date with X this weekend (Pre arranged, not as a result of this) so I'm looking forward to meeting a new family.

Thanks again.

"He said I couldn't find someone to play with and X wasn't around and my eyes cried a little. I was so sad upon hearing that."

From what I can gather from talking to other mothers of 4 year olds at school this is typical.

It can be hard to hear, because you want them to feel happy and secure and loved all the time and not lonely and unsure of themselves.

But they're out in the big wide world now, making their own friends and figuring it all out for themselves, so all we can do is greet them with a big hug at the end of the day.

DD started school in Sept. Her nature is quiet and she loves to be around others and to play with them too, but equally she is happy to be play on her own and come into the group when she does - if that makes sense?

She's a happy little girl, her teachers love her and we are very happy with the school she is at - DS is in year 3 and all is well...

Well, that is prior to her 'best friend' and am just not sure where to go at all from here.

Prior to being in school and with her friend, they would play and all was well...if a little nuts.

Her friend is very very very challenging and its 'rubbing off' (if there is such a thing). All is well when her friend is happy but at any point it can turn to nastiness, scratching and reducing my dd to tears by stripping her to shreds verbally. The school is on it an aware, and is keeping her parents informed too. Her friend is being observed I think by the school, the teacher can't tell me of course. I don't want to make life anymore difficult for this little girl but its my dd I need help with.

The problem I have is to how to curtail my dd's copied behaviour? I have never encountered her as she has been over the past month, I myself right now am scratched to bits due to her 'not wanting to go to bed' and getting into a proper fit for at least 30 mins before she gives in and goes to sleep, weeping about how horrible she has been to me.

We always talk about it and I don't let her go to sleep in a state, I couldn't bear it.

Help! any advice is most welcome...
Thanks

sorry everyone..I meant that to be a new thread! Sorry!