Have I made a mistake moving DS school

[Hedwig06]

I have just moved DS 5 from a "notice to improve school" to on paper "a better" school.

But he's very unhappy, misses his friends. He has started to wake every night saying he's had bad dreams.

I wanted to move him him as he's classes as bright he's in year 1 but working at year 2 level & I didn't think the school he was at was doing enough for him.

But now I'm a bit confused. I also used to walk to his school whereas now I have to drive 15 minutes to his new school so it means longer days.

I really am questioning if I've done the right thing as happiness is the most important things I suppose.

There are places at his old school so I could move him back but don't really know what to do.

Does anyone have any advice please?

Thanks for all your thoughts, I am going to bide my time until Thursday and see what his teacher says. To be honest, I know he's not settling too well and is missing his old school, friends etc. (I have that gut instinct)

The old school was a small local school, everyone knows everyone, all the children are known to all the teachers there's a community feel to it, whereas the new school is huge, there's 3 classes to each year group.

Saying that it does tick all the boxes academically for my DS, but he doesn't seem to like it or is settling at all.

He's been there 2.5 months now, he should have settled by now.

I have rang the department for education to get a form to move him back to his old school, so I have it here if I want to fill it out. They have said the school is now full and my DS will be on the waiting list but due to the distance from our house, he would be number 1 on the list. I'm thinking of putting him on the list and as it could be a while before a place comes back up, and obviously he will have to carry on at his new school in the meantime. If they offer a place and he has settled by then I can always refuse it.

I did think I was doing the best for him, but clearly an academic school isn't always right for everyone

I am the type to do activities at home, I print off things we have books at home my DS is a bookworm, so if he moves back I will continue to support him from home as I always have.

Thanks again everyone x

I know others would disagree but at primary age I think it's all about building relationships, having friends and being happy. That builds confidence, which in turn helps learning.

I would move him back. I'd rather him be happy.

I did exactly what you have done, for the same reasons.

At first DS was unhappy too, he missed his friends and didn't seem to be settling in.
I spoke to his teacher and asked if she knew which children DS seemed to be friendly with, she picked out four children who DS seemed to get along with, I then spoke to their parents, explained that DS was new and struggling to settle in and asked if their dc's would like to arrange playdates on a weekend. They all did and DS was able to form good friendships with those children, he now seems to be settling in much better, although it has only been a few weeks he does seem much happier.

DS is also in ks1 and it's been 3 months since I moved him.

How long has your ds been in his new school?

Your last post really does sound as if you are resigned to moving him back to the old school. Is that true? Because that is how it comes across.
Which does seem a bit rash. I mean, you don't seem to have given the new school a chance.
You could go to new school meeting with a list of atleast 6 things suggested on this thread as to how to help him (things that you could do and things that they could do).
And the main problem does seem to be friendship. Which is hardly surprising.
But many suggestions have been made on that issue -buddy, inviting freinds round as much as possible.
But you don't sem to have aknowledged this and said, yes you are all so right, I will do those things right away.
Does your son go to swimming and Beavers aswell?

I am a bit concenred that you do seem to be making very rash decisions.

My school literally created and extra part in the school nativity thing for one lady's son, who was new and not settling, he had loads more lines and this showed him off well to he other children.
They gave him a job to do, responsibility for watering the plant/taking the register back to the heads office for a week, or something almost as silly, but it really helped. These too helped freindships. I could go on. I can think of atleast 5 others off the top of my head.
But you don't seem to be considering any of these. Why is that?

I am also in Scotland and agree with soupmaker and AgentProvocater that the system of having to choose schools gives rise to many of these problems.

I have 3 ds's. Ds1 is very academic, musical, sociable, has ADHD and excels at all things scientific. Ds2 is ummm not academic, very shy, quirky ( almost definitely on the autistic spectrum). Ds3 is quick, clever, confident, outgoing, loves and is loved by everyone. All three boys are musical, none of them are sporty.

I would therefore be looking at at least two different school to meet their needs.

Our local primary is a sporty school with minimal support for music (although, with encouragement, this is improving), fairly academic and gets good results.

My boys go/went to our local primary. I don't know of any children in the catchment that don't. There are a few out of catchment children but most have moved from catchment after starting school and have not changed school. My boys have all thrived and are very happy at school. The whole community supports the school in a big way.

I would have him where he is happy and support the school to meet his needs academically.

Its a tricky one, Im in the process of moving my daughter to our local catchment chool. Its doesn't have the best academic reputation but its good and to be honest, i really think all primaries are much of a muchness. We have a larger 2 form entry in our town that has a better academic reputation but its a bit like 'survival of the fittest ' and there is no community feel to it. At the one she is going to it def has that community feel where everyone knows each other, older and younger and that is the kind of environment I want for my children to grow up in. I take the other posters points about not making another rash decison but I would place him on the waiting list again and then see what happens in the meantime; you could be waiting ages anyway by which time he will have settled. I think from reading your posts that your heart lies in the other school and if that is the case you are not going to put all your efforts into settling him into this new school and therefore it is unlikely to work out. I suspect the rash decision was taking him out as oppose to putting him back. The 'gut ' instinct of a mother in my experience is very rarely wrong

Obmolov - I have tried to speak to the other mums at the "new" school, but get one worded answers in response and then they go back to speaking to their "friends".

I have also put my DS name down to join the swimming lessons that the school offer, but there is a waiting list.

I think Laura0806 sums it up nicely, my "rash" decision was moving him in the first place, trying to give him the best start in life, when in actual fact his original school although not having its own swimming pool, music room/lessons, IT suite and a fantastic Ofsted report, was a great place for him to be in, and I should have made the best of what facilities they had whilst propping up any failures, (in my mind) with help from home.

O.k.
I think it is best that you put his name down to move him back. In the meantime, you need to deal with the current school, because that is all you have. At the moment. And the here and now is very crucial.
I wish you the very best of dealing with new school at the moment.