Intimidating teacher

[CovMum]

My DD has self-esteem issues and has no confidence. She is a good girl and is doing great at school. She is in year 5 and has had no major issues so far.

One of the year 6 teachers runs the choir that my DD has recently joined. At the first performance my DD put on a small amount of make-up with my consent. It was not over the top as I would not have let her out like that. We arrived at the performance and she went over to the teacher. She immediately told her off for wearing the make-up. If we had been told no make-up I would not have let her wear it. From where I was sitting I could not see what was said but could immediately see her body language had changed. It was not in school time.

My DD and a friend were asked to do a job for another teacher they said they had choir practice that day and the teacher said she would notify choir teacher they would not be there. Other teacher didn't do this and they both got into trouble for not attending. She would not let them explain.

I was at a school assembly on Friday. My baby niece was there. My DD adores her cousin and turned round to look at her. The year 6 teacher immediately left her seat and towered over my DD. Afterwards she said to me that he teacher had said to her "Who do you think you are? Do you think you are better than anyone else?". DD's body language changed dramatically straight away.

She now wants to leave her beloved choir because of this teacher. I want to go in and complain but don't know what to say. There is a chance DD may get this teacher next year so she doesn't want me to make things worse. She has a reputation as a bully.

Any advice appreciated.

It was DD who applied the make-up and it was a small amount. Nowhere in the rules does it say it cannot be worn. It was an evening performance and they had to wear smart clothes. I allow her to wear the make-up I am her parent. It is special children's make-up not some outlandish bright colours.

On each occasion the people standing near to DD have backed her up word for word on what she claimed the teacher said. My DD is not a liar.

Thank you to the sensible posters who give advice and don't try to provoke a reaction.

The teacher is leading an extra curricular activity, and is not your DD's teacher. I don't know where the teacher stands on her personal responsiblity to act in a teacherly way, seeing as some extra curricular clubs are run by parents or TAs.

If your dd's recount is accurate to the t, then it sound harsh of the teacher but it's hardly the end of the world.

And I wouldn't think we, as a school, would have to state that make-up is against the rules. I'd assume it was against the rules, unless I was told otherwise.

I'm pretty sure that nowhere in "the rules" does it say that thongs and conical bras should not be on display either, but that doesn't mean they're going to be happy about small girls turning up in them.

And I gave some sensible advice - check the story out before going in all guns blazing.

By the way, I'm not denying that there are a fair few over-officious teachers around, who might well deal with this sort of thing in an unnecessarily heavy fashion. A quiet word should have been enough.

But it's really not worth complaining about.

But "special children's makeup?" That makes it OK?

maybe what she actually said got muffled by her beard
blimey learnandsay you are on form tonight

If the teacher is leading an after school activity she is responsible for the children regardless of whether they are in her class, just as she is responsible for the pupils in the school not just her class during the school day.

Actually, the bottom line of this thread is: my child broke a school rule and for ticked off for it, should I complain? The rest of it, about self-esteem, adored niece and special makeup are red herrings.

The communication between the teachers was a bit of a cock-up so your DD is NBU about that.But otherwise I think the teacher sounds fab.She clearly runs a tight ship and is trying to put together a well-disciplined choir.
You must have known it was inappropriate for a 9 yearold to wear make up especially when representing the school anmd it looks sloppy and ill-disciplined for performers to be turning round and gawping at the audience (it sounds from the teacher's comments that they had specifically been told not to do this).
Tell your DD she must suffer for her art!!

Clam - you clearly have a problem with children wearing make-up. She is my child and I let her wear it. You seem to be getting very worked up about it.

She does have low self-esteem/confidence and is under the SENCO for it as a matter of fact.

She was not performing at the assembly she was in the audience. It was at the end when all the other classes were leaving. Her turning round did not cause any problem to anybody.

How do you know?

I agree with the previous poster who said it sounds as if they had already been told not too - the comment makes sense in that regard.

And most people would have a problem with make up on a 9 year old outside the home.

You sound very pfb.

not to

Not worked up at all, CovMum. If you're happy to allow your 8 or 9 year old daughter go out wearing makeup, it is, as you say, your choice. It's no skin off my nose. Just don't expect the her teachers to condone it at a school function, or not judge you, regardless of where she's sitting.

If a child turned up to a performance wearing make up they would be asked to go wash it off I'm afraid, just as a child turning around in an assembly would be reminded to face the front ...by whichever member of staff was closest