Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Gah the parents!

16 replies

manchestermummy · 26/11/2012 08:38

I've posted before about feeling that the other parents at DD1's school are very clique-y. Things have improved since half term as DD1 no longer goes to breakfast club, meaning at one of is always drops her off at school.

However, there is one mother who really, really looks down on me and has started making some very odd comments. First of all, when we were chatting about pre-school education, I mentioned that DD1 had attended a school nursery in the next town (our primary doesn't have an attached nursery). "Did you not consider keeping her there?" was her response . She didn't say it nicely either. DD1 has been chosen to play a big role in the nativity (or so we think - DD1 is notorious for being fanciful but lots of other parents have mentioned it!), and last week in the playground this other woman snapped at me "My DD was distraught she didn't get the part. In floods of tears".

Yesterday we were at a birthday party and DD1, who was hungry and a bit bothered by lots of kids screaming and running around at the start (i.e. having fun - she's a very serious little soul) burst into tears. This woman turns to me and says, in front of DD1, "I hope she's not going to be like that during the nativity". Later, while I was talking to another parent - it turned out we'd gone to the same (local) secondary - she spat out "You haven't gone very far, have you". She has also given me the third degree about what we do for jobs and where we live etc.

Sensible head says ignore, but I'm finding this a little hurtful. Even worse, DD1 seems to be quite friendly with this child. What do I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
kilmuir · 26/11/2012 08:41

Avoid her or stand your ground and say something. You have many years ahead at the school.

ArbitraryUsername · 26/11/2012 08:41

It sounds like she feels she hasn't come far in her own life but is projecting. And trying to live vicariously through her daughter's achievements. Pity her. And her poor daughter.

manchestermummy · 26/11/2012 08:46

I hadn't thought of it like that Arbitrary. Yes, we will be there for a long time...

OP posts:
tethersend · 26/11/2012 08:47

Probably not the right thing to do, but if you want to fight back, it's time for some PA comments:

"I like your coat, my mum has one"

"Sorry, what was your name again? I forget.."

"Sorry, whose mum are you?"

"I thought you might say that" (after everything she says)

UrbanSpaceManBaby · 26/11/2012 09:44

I love Tersersend's suggestions, my SIL is queen of the PA comment I go all boggle eyed when she uses them on me.

[Maybe Terthersend is my Sil, twitches, Make note to Google a medical complaint to avoid miserable Xmas meet up, shes' clearly on form this year]

I have similar issuoohs with DD2's year 1 class. I have decided not to confront. I was an innocent bystander a few years ago when two parents fell out. Any conversation that starts 'I hope you don't mind me saying so' will be remember for years. It's still a daily school nightmare for all of them.

We address the friend thing with 'It's not little X's fault her mummy is n't very nice, perhaps she is n't feeling very well. You still be friends at school.'

In our case we had a big conversation about snobbery eg What's the most important thing about A, B & C s house is it the X-box, tennis court, open sweet jar, NO, it's the people, the people make it a home but poor X's mum thinks it's the tennis court....

Haberdashery · 26/11/2012 12:25

"I thought you might say that"

Haha! This is great, particularly if delivered with a smile.

dixiechick1975 · 26/11/2012 12:45

Personally i'd ignore.

There must be non clique people - probaly hiding in the corners away from them.

Surely some must be dropped by grandparents/childminder with less of an agenda - stand near them instead.

Rudolphstolemycarrots · 26/11/2012 14:11

don't give her your time? keep answers polite and short - no details. use a lot of 'I'd better get on' or 'right I'm just off to help xxx'

colditz · 26/11/2012 14:14

Say "that's interesting, thank you."

And don't make eye contact with her while you are saying it.

amidaiwish · 26/11/2012 14:16

don't lower yourself, as my mum would say "rise above it". you know you're better than them, so don't get involved in their patheticness.

goralka · 26/11/2012 14:18

better (more PA) than 'I'd better get on' is 'I will let you get on now'.....

manchestermummy · 26/11/2012 15:12

Grin at goralka. Can I use that outside of the school playground too?!

OP posts:
Frontpaw · 26/11/2012 15:18

Oo Tethersend, may I borrow those? I like them very much"

The other mum sounds like a cow. An insecure cow. Avoid and ignore.

Bramshott · 26/11/2012 15:35

There is always the Mumsnet standard retort "gosh - did you mean that to sound so rude?"

Hopeforever · 26/11/2012 15:42

I can see how you find her so annoying and rude, but the final comment about not having gone very far could be jealousy that she has had to move too much.

I'm jealous of my local friends who have lived in the village since childhood and send their kids to the same school they went to. I can see myself making a similar comment to the rude lady, but hopefully in a nice way and none of the other comments

Pyrrah · 26/11/2012 20:01

I'm just amazed that people actually say these things and don't think about how they must sound!

Only ONE little girl can be Mary in the Nativity play every year. Why be unpleasant to the child who gets picked or their mother - someone has to be. Even if I thought DD was the next Shirley Temple I would never say something like that to another child's mother and I would imagine that the staff had their reasons for choosing the child they did.

I think the 'did you mean to be so rude' would be perfect!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread