YR DD - being dominated by her friend

[paneer]

DD is in YR, she settled well. There were a few others in her class that she knew from her previous setting. There are 4 of them that play together. DD is happy also likes to play with other children.

There is 1 of the girls in the group of her that she plays with frequently and seems quite close to. (We have known her for about 2 years from the old place).

Weeks back, DD said this girl, let's call her H, pushed her in the playground at lunchtime. DD had badly grazed knees (welfare room), but she said they were playing tag so I put it down to a the girls getting a bit boisterous.
But more and more frequently she has been saying that H pushed her. She has also said that H says to DD that she isn't allowed to play with other children, and grabs her arm or leg to stop her from going.

Tonight DD said to her dad the other day that she didn't want to wear her new black boots to school because H would stamp on them and scratch them.

My DD still plays with this girl and is not complaining, just relaying this information about H pushing, not letting her play with others (by shouting in her face), and now she's telling her dad that H is stamping on her shoes.

I am going to have a word with the teacher tomorrow as well, as I did mention my concern about H dominating DD. But at that stage I wasn't sure whether it was DD's interpretation. Now I am thinking that maybe she is being dominated.

H and her mother were going to come over after school on Monday. I am not sure whether to still have them over to see how they behave with each other. Or just ask them not to come over.

Any advice?

any advice?

I have no advice I'm afraid but currently experiencing this with my DD and know how upsetting it is so didn't want you to go unanswered .

I'm in a similar position with ds. Yesterday he said friend head butted him on the nose but it was an accident . He goes to play at friend's house and vice versa and I'm disliking friend more and more. Dh thinks we can't choose his friends, ds still wants to be his friend so it's up to him.

I think sometimes dc (well mine anyway) relate things in a way which makes it sound worse than it is. I just try to talk to ds lots about his relationship with friend and am monitoring. Not sure what else to do. Interested to hear advice from anyone else.

Thanks for not leaving me unanswered.

Spoke to the TA that was on the door this morning and they are going to monitor it.

We saw H and her mum on the way in this morning (I was also dropping a friends child as well) and the 3 girls seemed fine.

So hard is n't it. The school were really helpful with DD1 in YR. My arsenal of tatics include (but were not limited to):

Voice your concerns in an initially supportive, early days, what do you think way.

Make sure your child has lovely manners, says hello & thank you to the wider school support staff. eg lunch supervisors, breakfast club people and that you as a parent support them, send a xmas card, etc

The other girl in our instance remained a pain in the arse but as DD moved through the school, the support staff really looked after DD and encouraged other suitable friendships. No one wants to see a nice kid bossed around by a bully.
I was able to give a sincere, glowing report to ofsted about the staff really going the extra mile.