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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Financial Difficulties with School Trips etc - school asking ex to make up difference

22 replies

DiamondDoris · 21/11/2012 12:15

I sometimes ask the school if I can pay a reduced amount for school trips etc as I am a lone parent and currently unemployed. I was under the impression that visits/trips, if educational, were voluntary. Each time there is a note about a trip it says "no child should lose out and parents should contact the head if experiencing financial difficulty"...

My DD is going on a school trip next week and it costs £17. With all the events happening at school, donations, charity fundraising and so on I am really being stretched financially. I have offered to pay £8, the head has not come back to me yet, but the school secretary has suggested that my ex-H pays the difference. This kind of goes against the ethos of helping out less fortunate families. My ex-h (who I have a good relationship with) is struggling financially too.

What do you think about this. I'm not happy.

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noisytoys · 21/11/2012 12:19

I understand times are difficult but if people can't pay then the trip can't happen. In DDs school if you can't pay you can't go and they ask for money for something at least twice a week

marquesas · 21/11/2012 12:20

I don't see a problem with the school asking your ex DH - they might not know his financial situation and it would be wrong not to check if he can afford it.

Once he explains then they can see what they can do.

Could I suggest that you maybe don't do the donations and charity stuff if you need to cut back, I don't think you should feel obliged to fork out when you can't afford to.

Original poster

DiamondDoris · 21/11/2012 12:37

I've never had a problem with the school before and it has always been the head that has agreed. My gripe is that the school secretary has suggested this - she doesn't know my financial situation, the head does. The charity things are like a £1 here and a £1 there, it all mounts up. Things like cake sales, need to give the children a bit of money so that they can buy a cake like their classmates, some money for a poppy and so on. I've paid in full for a trip in January which is £29, it's just that sometimes I don't have enough money. I don't think it's fair that poorer children miss out on school trips if their parents can't afford to pay - this is an affluent area and the school is well off and there aren't many parents who are lone parents. Still annoyed at the school secretary.

OP posts:

TalkinPeace2 · 21/11/2012 12:44

OP
If you live in an area with a Parish Council, see if there is a local "Labouring Poor" Charity and apply for a grant.
Do not feel ashamed about it.
The charitites really struggle to find worthy recipients.
Helping you to help your children have a good educational experience is the aim of their existence.
The head may even already know and be willing to countersign the form.
Nobody else will ever find out as such charities are pretty confidential.
(I check the accounts of several FWIW)

BarbarianMum · 21/11/2012 12:44

DeWe · 21/11/2012 13:56

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask if he can put some money towards it. The school may well be looking at not going if they don't get enough money in. Does happen, even in nice middle class areas.
Have you ever asked him if he can pay towards a trip? He may like to contribute that way. (I mean that nicely, it sounds a bit snide written down like that, sorry)

Problem is that some people will bust a gut to pay-I know one person who will pay everything because she feels guilty if she doesn't. But that means she'll miss a few meals to subsidise it.
I know another who is quite capable of telling the school she can't pay while telling them at the same time that she took her 2dc to the cinema last night and is going to XYZ with them at the weekend, either trip is not a special occasion and either on their own would more than pay for the trip.
Must be very frustrating for a school at times.

Different people have different ideas of "can't afford". To the first lady it means that she is literally down to no money to pay for anything and hasn't anything reasonable she can sell.
To the second it means that she hasn't got the spare money after they have done all they want to do.

They're both lovely ladies btw but I don't think they would understand each other's position.

Original poster

DiamondDoris · 21/11/2012 14:12

It's just a bad time of year, new fridge freezer (old one broke down) and service charge bill from the management company on my flat for £800 which needs paying by Dec 25th (!) I did ask ex-H but he just grimaced. I know he's hard up, and does contribute through regular maintenance so I don't think I should be asking him for anything extra.

I'm already going without things. It would be easier if they could notify parents of these trips a month or so in advance, least I could put away a few £s each week. Of course I don't want trips not to go ahead but I thought educational trips were state-funded.

OP posts:

noisytoys · 21/11/2012 14:15

I know what you mean about service charges they are a PITA. Ours is about £1000 every December so we put £80 a moth into a savings acc so it's not a surprise when the bill comes

Original poster

DiamondDoris · 21/11/2012 14:21

Yes noisytoys - the £800 is only for 6 months, then another £800! Sorry, off topic

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noisytoys · 21/11/2012 14:26

that's alot. I thought ours was expensive and it's only once a year.

BarbarianMum · 21/11/2012 14:38

Sorry, didn't realise you'd already asked him. In that case just tell them that there's no more to be had and don't feel bad about it.

Totally agree with pre-warning parents. Our school has just started doing this (plus cutting down drastically on trips) due to the number that haven't gone ahead. Now we are told in September, and its one per year for reception - Y2.

As for state funding, there is no special amount for trips - the school just takes it out of their budget, or asks for voluntary payments or asks and makes up any shortfall. You could ask the Governors what their policy is.

TalkinPeace2 · 21/11/2012 17:48

Diamonddoris
you will almost CERTAINLY be able to get independent help with the fridge freezer - the CAB will have a list of (very discreet) funders

but most schools have a tame charity to help out - particularly once residential trips kick in ....

Bonsoir · 21/11/2012 18:03

At my DSSs' school, when there are school trips that need paying for, parents are always asked if they would like to make a donation (amount unspecified) towards subsidising the children whose parents cannot afford to pay. We are always happy to donate as we trust the school implicitly. Does your school do this?

Fuzzymum1 · 21/11/2012 18:32

It might be worth asking the school for additional time to pay. If you could afford to pay say £1 or £2 a week for the next few weeks then they will get the money, just not all upfront. If you can't afford to pay then say so. It by law, has to be a voluntary contribution and I know there have been situations at our school where parents who want to pay but are struggling, have been given extra time to pay.

On the other hand it was the parent who was most vocal complaining about there not being enough school trips who was the same parent who never once paid a single penny towards a trip or swimming lessons etc and it wasn't because she couldn't afford it, she was very vocal about how schools should budget for it!

mymatemax · 21/11/2012 18:36

it depends, schools generally make up the difference but if the % of parents askig for assistance becomes too high in any particular trip then the trip can become untenable as the school hasnt budgeted to fund the trip.
I dont blame the school for exploring all options before they make a decision

sausagesandwich34 · 21/11/2012 18:43

if school approached my ex about money he would kick off with me and make my life hell, saying I had put them up to it, he pays minimal maintainance etc

I hope the school didn't contact your ex -even if you are amicable -how do they know that???

mymatemax · 21/11/2012 19:09

Often the school has the funding for the place they are visiting its the coach/travel costs that aren't generally funded

TalkinPeace2 · 21/11/2012 19:57

Often the school has the funding for the place they are visiting
evidence for that assertion?
not something I've EVER heard of both as a parent and being involved with the venues schools go to.

BooksandaCuppa · 21/11/2012 20:00

Ds was at a pretty m/c 'nice' primary school (0-4 FSM dcs during his time there) and yet they never ran more than 1 trip per academic year (really inexpensive, say £8-£10) and they were always with lots of notice - like a term. There might occasionally be an in-house paid activity like a drama company - again less than once per year and only around £2-£3 - and again always with lots of notice. I'm pretty confident these weren't subsidised, btw, just not particularly fancy trips.

If they can follow this simple rule - one trip and lots of notice - why can't others?

trinity0097 · 21/11/2012 20:31

Since schools requesting voluntary donations is common practice, why not try to include this in your budget and put some money aside each month, so that when you do have to pay you have a few pounds saved up already??

LatteLady · 21/11/2012 22:46

As a CoG, I would be livid if any of our office staff suggest this.

We have a contingency fund for any child whose parents cannot afford trips, even down to the week's residential in Yr 6. This is an inner city school in a ward of high deprivation, so it is really important that every child gets to go, for some trips with the school are the only time that they ever get to go outside of the Borough.

My wicked side, says go back and see the sec, and ask for a copy of the school complaints policy... However, my sensible side says, talk to the Head and explain how mortified and belittled you felt and that you certainly should not have to answer to every Tom, Dick or Harry in the school about your financial circumstances.

Original poster

DiamondDoris · 22/11/2012 11:55

Later on yesterday, I received an email from the school saying they'd pay for the whole trip (I had been asking to pay part of it) - maybe they were annoyed at the secretary for making the assumption that my ex-h should pay the rest. We both have to watch the pennies and he pays me maintenance each month. I'm very happy about the school paying, but now feel a bit guilty. It was just the wrong time of the year (and little notice). They don't give more than 2 weeks notice for most things and there are several trips/activities each year. I'd sooner contribute the full amount but at this point of time I am financially stretched. I don't think most parents feel comfortable with asking the school to help out. Bonsoir I don't know of these donations from parents to help the less well off, the school is in a very affluent area (as mentioned earlier) and there are few families who are struggling. I'm sure there are more than just me, but I haven't met anyone yet - I seem to be the only mother in the playground who doesn't have a waterproof jacket or coat or a golfing umbrella

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