How do you deal with competitive mums of Reception ages kids?

[doublemuvver]

My friend's child goes to what she feels is a "better" school than my DD. My DD is doing really, really well though I play it down as she is constantly going on about how her DD and the school is much more advanced, plus my DD school is "failing" and I get comments like how I can "improve the school from within". Everything is a constant comparison and it is driving me a little bit crazy but do not want to jeopardise mine and our DD's friendship.

I would find anyone that was having a dig at my choices or my dc all the time tiresome to be around and I'd see a lot less of them (it at all) as a result. I'd make it plain as day that the subject is closed. If it continued it would jeopordise the friendship tbh, because I don't expect my friends to pick holes in my life.

ignore it. I have a friend like this (children in the same school) and last year when they were in reception it drove me mad. she would get her daughters book/spellings/word boxes out of her bag when she came out of school and say in a loud voice "well done your on xxx" she isn't so bad this year i think the novelty has worn of somewhat. i do think reception is the worst for this because its all new and because some children pick things up a lot quicker than others so the difference is more noticeable.

"It's funny that you see it like that, because I think DD's school is the best-kept secret in town. We've had so much extra help because of past problems, I think we're offering by far the best service to the local children now"

worth a try?
PS, I know it might not be true, but this actually happened in our town with my school and we all still enjoy gloating, esp. when in the company of people who moved house to avoid going to our place.

If it was the usual casual stuff people come out with I would put on my inane smiley face and ignore, ignore, ignore - "Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave" as the Madagasar penguins so aptly put it :)
However in your situation I would have to say something (I am a crotchety old gimmer though :)) because I doubt it is going to stop for the next 7 years of primary, 5-7 of secondary and possibly further beyond that

I do like lingle's response and am currently part-way through the same process with DC's school.
If your DD is happy and doing well you just need your 'friend' to butt out but you will probably have to do something to make her I'm afraid.

I had this. Then I dropped into the conversation my Y1 child's NC levels and book band (higher than her child's). Also refuse to take the bait - just change the subject of conversation.

The novelty will definitely wear off, and it's great that your dd is doing well. It's very nerve wracking to feel that your child is the one in the 'inferior' school, and hard not to take those comments on board.

i just feel quietly smug in the knowledge that i made the right decision for my kids and mine are more brilliant, beautiful and charming than anyone else's

Don't engage.. that's the lesson i learned. They soon get fed up.

I know. Smile and nod and say "oh" a lot!

I have a friend who is always saying how awfully competitive my ds's school is compared to her ds's school. How unfair for example that my y6 boy is "taught tackling in rugby". SO unfair for her ds's team!!????

I do find it annoying and disrespectful. I would never criticise a friends carefully researched choice of school. (Especially if fee's are involved.)

I agree that you have to have the smugness feeling that your dd is happy and doing well.

Hope DD continues to thrive. ANyway, if the school is failing at the moment, it can only get better!

Thanks all, excellent advice :)