Younger children not allowed at school events...?

[Wigeon]

My DD1 has just started Reception, so I am new to this school malarky.

There have been two letters home recently which say that younger siblings are not allowed at two events: the Reception Christmas assemblies (held at 9:05am on a weekday), which are essentially their nativity play, and a "reading and writing session", also being held at 9:05am on a weekday.

No creche is being provided.

Is this usual? What do other primary schools do?

Anyone I might ask to look after DD2 is either going to be at work, or is probably going to be attending these events themselves. And our families live an hour away, so it's not at all straightforward to find someone to have her.

I really do not understand the posters who imply my children go to a school with an un-family-friendly Head.

Our school have many, many, many events to which under-fives are welcome - at least two every single week, in fact. They have a handful to which they are not for many reasons including that the design of the hall means it is very, very hard to exit with a young child if they do start playing up.

Sometimes they need to be child-friendly toward the actual children in the event, not to other younger children who are not.

There are some events I am not old enough for either! They do special things for grandparents / senior citizens, for example.

Hm, very interesting, thank you all for your replies!

Good to know from replies on here that it's a policy that is probably supported by quite a few parents in the school even if not me.

seeker - we don't have a PTA. The head thinks that it would be too much work, too much bureaucracy, and would be all create a clique...

*would create a clique

Our DC's school used to let younger siblings attend shows, etc, although there was an incident with a screaming baby whose parents had to be spoken to by the deputy head which was, I think, near the end of the school year. The following school year the no pre-schoolers rule was implemented, so I don't think it was a coincidence.

I was incredibly lucky as the implementation of this coincided with DD starting reception. Had it been brought in any earlier I would have had major problems.

However, I have noticed that most of the parents I've heard who are affected by this just whinge and try to get the school to change their mind. They don't pitch together and try and sort anything out. For example, if they were to chip in for LA approved childcarers I'm sure the school would have no objection to them utilising a room in the school, but none of them are that pro-active. The school does such a lot for the kids that I think people get used to having stuff laid on for them rather than having to take the initiative.

Wigeon- it's not up to the Head! If there are parents who want a PTA then go for it!

Tiggytape

Having read how it was at your school I'm shocked the school allowed younger siblings for as long as they did. I think the reason the deputy head having to speak to someone sticks in my mind is because that is the only example of such inconsiderate behaviour I witnessed. Had it been as bad as at your school I think I would have been begging for a younger sibling ban, even if as a result I was inconvenienced.

I guess the parents who joined the school after the ban and never saw what it was like when toddlers were allowed may think it is very harsh and assume that other parents would all be terribly responsible and the ban is very unfair. > The parents who have older children at the school know better and are glad of the ban.

My dds last 3nativitys have been in a church next door.

1st one was preschool-2nd dd was less than year old
2nd one was rception-dd2 must have been 18months
3rd one year 1-well I had 2 younger siblings to take along.
toddler was 2 and baby 8months he slept in his carseat, took my mum and husband and we sat in balcony above at back away from stage most people younger kids did.

The preschool had rehearsal one but dont remember the school ever having one.

There was a play in reception in school hall where my 2 kicked off so left early and dd got upset. My husband was working that day, all my freinds were at work and family hour away and busy.

Parents evening they started a creche for school kids only so we have to go by ourselves .

New school this term and have no idea what they do,

But unlike the old school they offering a day and evening performance much easier to get babysitter for evening.

I took my youngest 2 along to sports day last term and they were ok,

Thanks for all the replies . That's really interesting to hear how allowing siblings works in practice. Obviously, I would ensure that my DD2 was impeccably behaved, and would remove her from the performance at the slightest hint of disruption, but of course the school has to have a blanket ban.

I will have a chat to one of the childminders I see in the playground to see if she has any ideas about how a creche might be set up. I wonder if most of the local childminders will already have their own commitments though - where do you find qualified people who are able to look after children for a one-off hour on a weekday?

I was only talking about this kind of thing with a mum today. Frankly I'm shocked. Lived overseas and the thought of excluding siblings and or having to provide crèche would be a joke. I feel we have such little tolerance of children in our country. Sorry if that offends but my experience.

I have never heard of a school banning younger siblings from a performance or play and am quite surprised to hear this is done. But then all of the parents I know would and do take them straight out if they do disturb proceedings.

I agree that they probably shouldn't be brought along to other 'consultation' type things such as a literacy information afternoon, but at ds's primary, if a younger child was bored and noisy during a meeting of that sort they would be welcome to join the reception class for 20 minutes or whatever. Maybe we're just lucky with a very relaxed school/Head.

I might also add we'd not come across the probs explained in posts and also not the same amount of work had been put into performances

you don't need qualified staff for the creche just some volunteer parents and some space in the school

I think the problem is even if you remove yourself and the pre schooler, the damage is already done. it is not the parents or childs fault. It is a big ask to expect little ones and babies to be quiet for any period of time.
Some dcs only have a few words to say or a line in a song. It is so unfair if you miss this because somebody else has brought their baby/ toddler.

We always have 2 performances; one family friendly, and one no kids but with creche, which is run by some TAs in the reception class rooms. Seems like a good compromise.

tiggytape

I should point out that wasn't all at one play! > I think the problem about school plays particularly [ . . . ] is that parents are really reluctant to take out the younger siblings no matter what because then they will miss their older child's part of the show.

We had a ban last year and a crèche and no parent moaned or complained. This year the multi purpose room is now a classroom thanks to a bulge class and siblings are allowed to attend assemblies. It made things more difficult though.

In addition our hall is tiny, 220 children plus teacher means the parents are squeezed together like sardines in a tin. The thought of bringing it into the church down the road was stopped after it rained so hard before thenHarvest Festival that by pure luck it wasn't the play of the 220 wet harvesters.

So our school stages 4 performances, one for Grandparents, VIP and where it is impossible to have childcare but you need to book a space. Then 3 childfree performances where only parents of 2-3 classes are allowed to make it manageable.