how would your school state or private deal with this

[Megan74]

I have just had parents evening for DD who is in year 2 and feel utterly deflated. I shall describe her and would like you to tell me how your children's school would have dealt with this.

Did really well in reception and ended about a year ahead for literacy and where she should be for maths. Described as enthusiastic and eager to learn. Fast forward to this stage of year two and has dropped to the middle stream for literacy and remained middle for maths. Described as lazy and unfocused. There was no plan offered on how we or them could deal with this and the whole parents evening was rushed.

Is this just par for the course in a state primary as there are 30 children and some who are really struggling and all will work out? Is it just a bad example of a school private or state? Would this happen in a private school? Am I just being PFB and by the time she leaves year 6 she will be fine and she just needs to mature?

I don't recall ever saying any child "deserved" anything bisjo are you paraphrasing?

It does seem very out of character for you mrz, not your style at all.

mrz sorry I was paraphrasing. You posted on a thread when I mentioned about ds not paying attention in class and not wanting to do his best work for his teacher and how she hadn't bothered to say anything about it until parents' evening. She then said that ds 'winds me up'. I thought that was a really odd comment for teacher to make.

You weren't the only one to criticise me when I said it was impossible to motivate ds when the teacher behaved in the way she did towards him. In fact a lot of people were critical when I said I would not support a teacher behaving like she was to ds.

I only found out at the end of the year quite how bad she had been to ds and a number of other pupils in her class. As well as one child being removed without notice during the year I discovered that it had happend in previous years too (and yet she is still at the school). The contrast between that school and his new one could not be greater, thank heavens.

You haven't told us what happened in year 1. How was she described then? Maybe the year 2 teacher just tells it like it is. I know there aren't supposed to be 'surprises' but we are only about 6 weeks in. Any earlier criticisms you may have put down to settling in etc. What does your dd say about her own attitude to work?

I'm afraid I don't recall the tread or your user name bisjo but you seemed to have resolved matters by moving schools so hope all goes well for him.

thread [hwink]

Thanks all. Yr 1 report was a but vague to be honest. I knew she dropped down a set in literacy but didnt disagree with this as she had said she found it hard to keep up sometimes. Other than that there was no mention of being lazy and was comparitively positive if not that informative.

I spoke to her earlier on the advice of some posters and she said she sometimes find things hard and that there was someone disruptive on her table. Having thought about it she has a funny attitude to things. She hates to get it wrong so would rather not try if she thinks she can't do something.Having seen her book where the teacher makes comments about her lack of work it would seem she's not checked that much during the lesson to ensure she understands (she wouldn't ask even though I keep telling her too) and actually doing something. Would it be unreasonable for me to ask if she can have more input during tasks to ensure she is actually doing something?

I think she has just changed generally - perhaps a symptom of her age - she is almost 7. I vaguely remember my neices becoming a bit more back chatty and having an attitude from around 7 or 8. She seems to have lost some of her sweetness she had at 4/5. She needs to be constantly picked up on back chat at home. I also find it hard to motivate her to have a go at things. I am always offering her the chance to go to rainbows or gym club but she doesnt want to do anything. So frustrating as this may help her attitude in general.

Now I put it all togther and had time to sleep on it I think 'lazy' was a bit unpleasant to hear as for me as a parent it doesnt tally up with the girl from reception and year 1, or her reading levels (she is on the top %of the class for reading). But I also think she lacks confidence to ask for help and would rather sit and do as little as possible than ask for help, she also fears failure but deals with it by sticking her head in the sand.

Judging by the way she tackles homework it is often done in a hurry and with a 'can't be bothered' attitude. I had to make her redo everything the other day as every sum was wrong, I had left her to it but she just made a load of answers up and went 'that will do'. I explained one sum to her so she understood it and then sat with her whilst she finished it but didn't do it for her. She just seems to need that extra bit of 'hand holding' . I can see why all this maybe interpreted as lazy and perhaps she is. But she is also being allowed to be.

So now the question is with how to deal with her lack of motivation and her inability to deal with a task as she is capable of. It would also be good to understand where this is all coming from as it new but like I say maybe she has just changed.

Anyway, she is looking over my shoulder reading this post!

What if you asked her if anything in her life was making her unhappy? Or "Do you have any problems you'd like to fix?"

I would speak to the teacher in the hope that you may get some help in resolving issues in class. Most of the time I think teachers go out of their way to help and support pupils. It is extremely unusual to encounter the type of teacher ds had last year.

Mrz we have been helped by moving to a new school with a very different ethos. I've been really surprised at the difference both in the school attitude and ds.

Talk to the teacher again. Say you were really shocked at the description of him child being lazy as last year he was near the top and motivated. Say you are very concerned by the change and wondered why isn't interested now?

Lazy is not a professional term. It is an unprofessional judgement used by a teacher who is probably quite lazy herself (in my unprofessional judgement). You seem to be far more on top of your DD's work, the impediments in the classroom, and her feelings about work than the teacher is. What you have described is not 'lazy'.

You should try to get to the bottom of the situation where the disruptive child is interfering with her schoolwork. Try to find out exactly what happens at their table and give your DD ideas rehearse with her on how to respond, how to get on with her own work regardless.

But apart from that you need to dig deeper with the teacher and find out details. Don't accept 'lazy' -- that is lazy teaching.

I would bet my bottom dollar that the root of this is to be found in the classroom dynamic and whether the teacher rewards effort or right answers. Not all children are emotionally ready for the 'right answers' approach or for timed work in Y2.

Do you think that being moved down a table has caused a crisis in confidence. Tables in primary school are fluid and children do get moved up and down. Ds has experienced being both moved up tables and down two tables. Even if you are upset as a parent that your child has been moved down, its important that you don't show this to your child.

Intelligence varies at different rates and the child who was top of the class in reception is often over taken by later developers, in particular summer born children.

Ds's teachers have used timers to make ds work. I think that year 2 is tougher than year 1 or reception as these classes tend have less general TA support. TAs don't tend to give support to top table as these children are more able. If your child needs more support to get a task done then she may be more suited to being on a lower table.

I think the important thing is to praise her for working hard, rather than being clever. Any child can choose to work hard, but there is no magic way for a child to increase their basic IQ.

This was my daughter in year 2 exactly and after a lot of soul searching and bank account raiding we sent her private, which has suited her much better and she is now refocussed and happy. Basically she was just getting by in a class of 30 and needed more attention.....

I think the important thing is to praise her for working hard, rather than being clever. Any child can choose to work hard, but there is no magic way for a child to increase their basic IQ.

This is key.

I don't think it is a State private issue BUT a teacher issue with possibly a mix of maybe a learning need: it could anything from perfectionism, hearing problem, preferring a different style of learning to the teacher ( eg child is very visual, teacher is very auditory), to dyslexia.

What to do? Have a good half term. Do lots of reading and talking about books.

After half term go and see the teacher and ask her about what she is going to do to help your daughter. Start to keep a diary recording, what the school says, when things are supposed to happen, anything you ask and so on. I have found that even with a tricky teacher a lot of parental involvement can turn things around.