'never say no to a grown up'

[RillaBlythe]

This is what my DD (in Reception) says she was told in school. Am I off course here but is that actually NOT a good message for kids?

I sympathise with you entirely, and its important to be aware that teachers can sometimes give messages like this.

It happened to dd - when she was older (9) and in the context of her saying 'I've been told by the doctor not to do X' (she had a broken arm that couldn't be plastered). She was - first - told off by the HT for not obeying without question and then - second - got a second telling off for talking to us about it and telling us what had happened . . . .

My message I have to say was (a) you do NOT always do what the teachers tell you if, for example, it goes directly against what you have been told in hospital by a doctor and (b) you should ALWAYS tell us as your parents if you are told / made to do something that you feel uncomfortable with by any adult or child no matter who they are.

Obviously we did also discuss how you should obey school rules because they are there for a reason, be polite to teachers etc etc.

I got more info from DD this morning - apparently it was said after "the naughty boy" said no to the teacher. So I expect it was more of a "don't say no to teachers" message than otherwise. Which reassures me that they aren't feeding DD crap!

Just to add, even if that was the content of the message, if children are coming away and interpreting it as "never say no to a grown up" then I think the teacher still needs to have a think about how they present that message.

It's all very well having the right intentions, but if they are ot presenting it in a way tat children are unrstanding correctly they need to rethink the delivery.

I think the mismatch lies in the message the teacher was trying to get across to the class as a whole and how your DD perceived it. Maybe someone in the class (or more than one child) had done the "NO!" when asked to do something and the whole class talk was a reminder that they have to follow the teacher's instructions.

I do expect my class to follow my instructions, not say "no" and not to need lengthy negotiations. I need to know they will obey straight away, as it may be a safety issue - emergency exiting of a room, stopping a child throwing something, a child about to do something dangerous, for example I told a child to freeze today, as their feet were tangled up in the strings from their PE bag, if they hadn't frozen they could have fallen head-first on to the edge of a table. This was probably all that was meant by it. I think you have clarified it well with your DD, but bear in mind young children sometimes misunderstand or mis-relay information back to parents and maybe she was the only one who took it the wrong way.

Update - I asked the treacherous about it this afternoon. She was shocked to hear that DD had taken this message home. She thinks she overheard her talking to a defiant child (there is at least one v challenging child in the class), it wasn't from carpet time. She said she would talk to the class to clarify as it is not what she wants them to learn at all.

So there we go!

Is that predictive text, or how you feel about her teacher?

Teacher! Not treacherous!

Predictive text of course - she is a very nice teacher!

Good! Well done for raising it - glad the teacher was shocked and will rectify any misapprehensions