India trip

[Tonytiger]

My DS's school is organizing a trip to India . He is 12 yrs old. His school is very small and a bit alternative which I usually enjoy, however I am concerned about safety on the trip, it's so far from home .... Is it safe ..... What about transport the roads are treacherous . I know this from personal experience. Am I being
over anxious ??? Any thoughts please .

My daughter went to India with her school for 3 weeks in July. They flew to Delhi and then an internal flight further up North. They stopped in Delhi on the way home and went to visit the Taj Mahal as well as a bit of local sight seeing. She said Delhi was very humid and wouldnt have been safe for her on her own. She was with a group and they always had to have a boy with them! However, she was 16 as were the others in the group. It's a long way to Agra - it took them about six hours by coach to get there and longer to get back because there were roadworks!
My son went to South Africa on a cricket tour when he was about 12. However, my husband was able to go with him. Some boys were on their own though. It was well organised by a reputable company.

Sorry for the highjack OP.
My point is that it's not just his physical safety to consider, but how he'll cope emotionally.

Thank you very much for all your helpful thoughts and observations. I did a final check with the home office and school today. We have decided to go ahead. The trip is organized through an experienced tour operator, they will travel in an air conditioned coach around the city and train to Agra. Snow w your info on road safety has helped to calm my nerves. I'm sure he will have a wonderful time.
Speaking from personal experience .... I know he will be moved and deeply concerned about the plight of many people he will come across, especially when faced with the reality that children his age and younger are forced to live on the streets living a life so different from his own. Rest assured quint s, whilst l am aware he is very fortunate to have this opportunity, thankfully privilege does not equate to a lack of social conscience nor humanity. I hope your son has a safe and enjoyable trip to France. Once again many thanks everyone.

Not a problem Help y s . You are absolutely right , now I have got my head around his safety, we will be having many conversations to hopefully help him cope emotionally.

Now that you have made up your mind re the trip, can I just say something on the point made by helpyourself?

I know your intentions are good, helpyourself, but I am slightly offended by you going on and on about the poverty in India. I am of Indian origin and visit India often. I also visited Madrid 2 months ago. The number of beggars on the streets of Madrid was shocking. They were lined along the tourist trail, a lot of them were handicapped or aged. A few had signs asking for help as they were too old to work but had no money. DD (5) was shocked, and we had to talk to her about poverty. The worst bit was when we had to explain to her why we could not give money to every single one of the beggars. She would have handed over our wallets if she could have.

To repeat, this was in MADRID. In SPAIN. In EUROPE.

India does not have the monopoly on poverty, and the country is trying very hard to tackle the problem that does exist. But thank you for being so concerned that a European boy may be contaminated emotionally drained by the East.

I think that's a bit harsh, NanAstley

I was shocked by some of the effects of poverty in India, and I say that as someone who has travelled widely, including to lots of poor countries (although I have never been to Madrid so cannot comment on the situation there).

Um...actually I'd have to agree with NanAstley. All this hand-wringing about the "poverty" is counter-productive. Yes, the sheer levels of poverty is mind-boggling, but if you sit down and have a "serious" talk about other under-privileged children, it will only serve to ignite a kind of morbid curiosity.

In this case, my personal take would be not to tell Tonys DS anything. On his return, see if he talks about this issue, see if it has registered it in any negative way and THEN take your lead from him and have an intelligent and thoughtful conversation about it...

mrsbugsywugsy, it was suggested that the OP check with the school if they have provisions in place to deal with the emotional effects of 12-year olds witnessing poverty. Seriously, that is something that David Mitchell would write in one of his sketch shows!

Like Snow says, when the OP's ds returns, there can be ways and means to talk to him about anything that concerned him, and maybe discuss ways to help. But really, there is nothing so bad about India that he needs to be "prepared" for it.

*Ways in which HE could help, i mean...not ways in which he needs help. I don't think anyone, however young, will need counselling after visiting India. Especially Delhi and Agra!

Read my posts again Nan- I talk of what he'll think, I didn't suggest that he'll be traumatised or that there are any easy answers.
My experience is that visitors to India, expats living there and overseas Indians all trot out similar myths about relative poverty, happiness, Victorian England, how hawkers enjoy bartering etc.I wouldn't be happy if my dcs experience of india was spun by some callow young teacher telling them that such myths.
I'd also question your experience of Delhi v. Madrid. If nothing else the sheer scale- the numbers of people living on the streets.

NanAstley, I read it as being a starting point for a conversation about the politics of poverty, globalisation, social justice and so on. Not about him needing 'counselling' to get over the trauma!

Surely that's better than trying to gloss over it, or whisk him past in an airconditioned coach?

In this case, my personal take would be not to tell Tonys DS anything. On his return, see if he talks about this issue, see if it has registered it in any negative way and THEN take your lead from him and have an intelligent and thoughtful conversation about it...
I certainly would mention it. And frankly if a child of mine went to India and didn't register it I'd be fucking livid and consider I'd failed as a parent.

On a less ranty note there's a very good documentary about India on BBC 2 just finishing op, and Nan try and catch it.

I am Indian. I lived in Delhi for 8 years. I do not need a documentary to tell me about it.
There is more to India than poverty. There is no need to make it the be-all and end-all of your Indian experience. That is more stereotypical than any stereotype you mention, none of which I recognise.

Anyway, I'll leave the conversation now. I still maintain that I am offended, but please don't let that bother you. I am hiding this thread.

Hope your son has a good time, OP.

In which case Nan I find it quite extraordinary that you'd be shocked by anything you saw in Madrid, unless you're constructing some comforting narrative about the relativity of human suffering.

WOW what a great cricket tour... fast hard wickets, enthusiastic young opponents, different coaching techniques... It could be fantastic. Beats a primary school tournament in the rain in July....

Thank you nanastley, I'm sure he will have a wonderful time.
I know he will
return buzzing with the beauty, the atmosphere the people !!! Friendships will
Be strengthened new friends made . Memories that will last a life time.
I soooooo wish I was joining him. And yes I'm sure we will have many conversations about his experiences. I have no doubt that he will be moved by the plight of many people especially the children. And yes Help Y s , I too would be appalled if nothing registered .