DS being repeatedly hurt by another boy in reception. What to do?

[slaveofsolitude]

I started a thread about this on AIBU last week, but since then things have got no better :(

In his first week at school (last week) DS has come with scratch marks on his back and a bad bite mark on his arm (teeth marks /bruising). All by same boy in his class. School is aware of what's happened - appeared pretty blase about it.

DS also told me the same boy "head pushed him in the face" - headbutting? He also had sand in his hair and ears today - again done by this boy according to DS.

We told him to stay away from this boy and I had asked the teacher to keep them separate as far as possible. Today he came back with scratches on his face and said he was pinched and pushed by this boy. I haven't heard that from the teacher though - that's only what he has told me.

Surely they should be keeping a bit of closer eye on them than this in the early weeks - particularly where things like this have already been noted?

I feel like asking to move classes! Should I? Could I? Should I approach the boy's mum about it? Feel so sad and worred for DS - don't want this to put him off school.

FWIW I'm having a similar, albeit less severe issue with DS, also just started school.

I've talked to him about shouting 'No!' and getting a teacher. He told a teacher today (second day running he's been hit by the same boy) and she apparently told him to 'fetch an adult'

If I get another report I'll be seeing the teacher myself. If it didn't resolve after that then I think I'd go back a second time, but if it continued, and given the severity of being bitten and scratched, I'd be making an appointment with the head.

Did I respond to your other thread? (?)

I wouldn't approach other mum if she's not already a close friend. Can of Worms.
You have every right to complain that the school is not doing enough to keep your son safe.
Would moving him be too unsettling? I know my current reception boy would find it very stressful.
Don't be surprised if they tell you he actively pursues friendship with the scratching boy, or can be rough himself.

Don't approach the mum. Get a meeting with the teacher. If things don't calm down write to the head asking for a change of class. List a day by day diary of what has happened.

I agree with the others, get a meeting with the teacher (or headteacher if things get out of hand). I certainly wouldn't ask to have him change class, as that'll be very unsettling to him most probably. They identify so much with their class at the beginning.

I also agree with the others, I'd tell him to say No don't do that! and get a grown up.

Really sorry this is happening, must be unsettling in the early weeks of settling in :(

Agree don't confront the mum.

However I would take your DC back into the school & politely ask for an explanation for the visible marks & if an accident/incident form had been completed. If you are not happy with the replies, I would then go to the HT. If you can't be seen that day then take a picture of the scratches at home & make an urgent appt for the next day.

Your poor DS

I feel for you and your DS, how awful.

We went through something similar. I taught my DS to say in a very loud voice " don't kick/bite/scratch/hit etc me - your hurting me". And to go and get a responsible adult/ grown up, straight away and explain what happened. Luckily this worked quite quickly as the other child got pulled up on his behaviour every time and it quickly stopped.

If it had not worked I would have gone onto Plan B! Give the other child one warning to stop hurting him if not Hit back and hit hard - telling the other child to stop. He might get into trouble (not with me if he did not hit first) but to be honest it would have giving the other child such unpleasant shock he may think twice about trying it again.

I know some may disagree with my way but it is what I think it's acceptable.

Fingers crossed for you. I will watch this thread with interest.

Your poor DS, why on earth is this behavior tolerated for even a day by school? Surely the boy should be removed until provision can be made to keep everyone safe.

Imagine if you came home from work and a co-worker had done that to you, nobody would expect you to just keep going back or to move your job. The co-workers behavior would be addressed.