would you organise a 'reception mums' pint?

[ilovedaddypig]

DS has just started school. The other mums are friendly enough but it occurred to me we only know each other as 'so and so's mum' - yet we're going to be linked to each other through our kids for the next seven years. I was wondering whether to suggest a meet-up at the village pub as an ice breaker. If a mum suggested that to you, would you welcome it or would you think she was a weird stalker who hadn't got any mates....

We have class reps and they organise this. We have end of term, Christmas drinks or just local meals out. Class rep emails everyone and whoever turns up turns up. I have always had a nice time, I like getting to know the other mums.

Good idea to meet up/organise it not sure about pub as venue.

Maybe sound out some of the muslim mums and see if they would be ok with the venue.

sounds great!

for a first meet up drinks do exclude non drinkers even if drinkers don't really think so, at the local primary the parents usually meet at a cheap curry place where you can bring your own bottle (owner muslim so don't serve alcohol) so it doesn't really sort the drinkers from the non drinkers.
but as well as being cheap and walkind distance from everyone living in catchment, its fixed prices there so easy enough to organise, nothing worse than trying to get bills sorted with big groups and I know that not everyone has somewhere as easy at that BYOB curry place near everyone

coffee is a good idea as more inclusive

or a bar that'll do a platter if you bring a group (some do free platters if you're bringing more than 15)

so there's more than just a bar!

I would be afraid to go in case it was a chance for a cliquey shallow group to get ridiculously dolled up & then trashed on booze, while the rest of us would be too skint to spend much, too tired to stay out late, etc. I would probably only go if a very friendly person really impressed on me that she wanted me there.

Cynical & jaded, qui moi?

also agree that I wouldn't like the "mum's pint" bit as it may be DH not me who was able to go depending on shift patterns/babysitters

yes probs coffee first

I would have loved it if someone had had the guts to do this.

Someone I know did put a notice up on her dc's classroom door suggesting drinks but the only person out of 30 who turned up was a woman who then proceeded to drone on for an hour about her irritable bowel syndrome.

Cuppa tea / coffee with bix, would be fine. Don't expect people to turn out all tarted up (although some will, anyway).

Good idea, I'd go. I can't imagine anything like that happening at ds's school but if it did I'd be there like a shot.

We do drinks each term normally.

Sod the coffee - I'd go for the pub anytime - more inclusive of working mothers surely

At our school it would be interpreted as "let's get together without the Muslims" but if that's not the case at your school then go for it.

Seriously, how do you do something like this that doesn't exclude Muslim parents? My DD's school has a large minority of Muslim parents. There are basically no evening venues apart from pubs / bars. And if a daytime cafe event, it would either have to be a weekday (excluding working parents) or a weekend (probably most people have too much on). Any ideas?

there are places open for coffee/cake/cheap food in the evenings
there are bars that are more all-roundish with snacks and coffees as well as drinks, as opposed to pubs which are just for drinkers

a lot of coffee shops now do late opening because there is a market for them

there is no time that suits everyone, evenings don't suit me (work evenings)
pub a very pubby/pint type venue does sound like looking to gather a particular TYPE of person, particularly if "mums" is added on

a very boozey/pint/pub oriented thing doesn't just exclude muslims BTW, it excludes 1st trimester pregnant ladies who don't wanna explain, it excluded mild drinkers who aren't really boozey, those who want to drive.. its very specific IMO

daytime excludes people who work in the day
evenings exclude people with noone else to watch the children
neither exclude TYPES of people though in the same way evening PINTS for mums does, that narrows your group much much more

I always drive as live in a village and tend to do our 'drinks' in town. They're not occassions where people get drunk - but some people have a couple of glasses of wine.

But so much depends obviously on the other parents. We don't have a terribly mixed group so a bar works fine. But we do also do the odd coffee morning at someone's house. Tends to be the same few who want to socialise generally.

The mums at dds school do drinks - someone texts a few peopke and says 'pass it on' - works really well! Go for it - don't think too much about it. I love the mums who do stuff like this at out school!

I'd happily attend. Sounds like a lovely thing to do.

Can you do a Dads pub night and on a different day a mums pub night?

I'm expecting it will be a very civilized drink at the pub without people getting rat arsed. Any one who doesn't drink can always have a soft drink. Going somewhere that can do food if needed is a good idea though.

We have class reps in our school, in reception they gather all the e-mails, mobile numbers etc. For the first meeting the school let us use a room after morning drop off (was in second week so most parents had taken week off work) and we made some cakes and the school gave us some coffee. After that we went to the pub about once a long term, plus meal at christmas, plus coffee in a coffee shop with toddlers etc about 5/6 times a month. It is worth getting to know each other, helps you feel happy leaving your dc with them for playdates, party.

We have done it since reception but numbers dwindled until it is only me and a couple of others still nice though.

When ds started one of the mums put a short note in everyone's trays inviting us for dinner...if you put your mobile number they can reply so you have rough idea of numbers (and also know the names of who's going). Some people drank quite a bit, some people drove and drank nothing, and everything in between. I've found most people do come, especially to the first one as its nice to have a quick chat, even so you can just wave hello at the gates.

This is a great idea. I still arrange social events for DDs in senior school. Not many parents come (8 max) but it is fun, and also actually really useful to chat to people to see what they are thinking about aspects of the school.

Eg, I recently went to lunch with some parents. DD soon had to choose her first MFL at school. The second is allocated, they don't get to choose. One of the other parents was able to tell me that all girls do French, as the school has a lot of French teachers, so the choice was really between Spanish and German. If I hadn't had that social contact with those parents, I wouldn't have found out something really important for my DD's education.

I'd say go for it. At my daughters school we have a great social group of Mums and sometimes Dads who see eachother regularly- sometimes with the children and we arrange evenings out without them. We have found out we have lots of common interests, other than our children, such as belonging to same gym, like doing crafts, work in similar jobs etc.... and so now some of my closest friends are school Mums. We set up a facebook group which was brilliant over the Summer holidays, as we posted if we were doing things others may want to join us for or we organised days out and playdates for the children. And for what its worth, unless you have people who will not go to a pub for whatever reasons, I think it is a perfectly reasonable place to meet! I don't drink a lot but have no objection to meeting there, even if I have a coke or coffee!?