I think I'veade a big mostake with dd1 school - its so rough.

[unsureunderneath]

Dd1 went to a catholic nursery but didn't get into the school. We had the chance to appeal but didn't. Everyone who did appeal got in.

The reason I never was because she was offered a place in my second choice school. This school does very well in league tables and is Ofsted rated outstanding.

However I didn't realise how rough the school is. I don't want to go into much detail on that as I don't want to be flamed. This is a genuine concern for me (hence posting this time of the morning as I can't sleep)

Today dd1 was pushed over, had her glasses taken off her and thrown. Her teacher assures me that they have taken it seriously and dealt with the other child and I believe her. She is lovely.

But I can't help thinking I have made a big mistake.

Would you move her?

Surely too early to think about moving her? But I do feel for you, choosing their school is such a big responsibility isn't it? I'm starting the research now, for next yr's applications.
Hopefully that was a really unfortunate (and unpleasant) incident and there won't be any more like it.
Hope things improve. I guess if your DD seems to like it, that will reassure you a bit?

I know moving her now seems daft as its so early. But then I think is it better to move her now before she settles?

I just don't know.

She is really enjoying it which helps. But then she can't see or hear what I do.

She is enjoying it. Thats the main thing.

I wont scoff at you thinking things like that wouldnt happen at the catholic school

Scoffing may help me gain a sense of perspective. I keep thinking this never happened in nursery. Which to be fair it didn't, no one touched her glasses.

Ah that's a shame for her. Would you get in to the catholic school now though? I do think its important that you feel at ease wherever she is. As I'm sure you know kids pick up v quickly on our anxiety.
It is very early in the year though. This could end up being an isolated incident.

Okay, my DC all went to a very nice MC infants. BUT I can imagine this could have happened there, especially during the first couple of weeks. It is much less likely to happen in nursery as the staffing ratios are higher. However even there if a child with behavioural issues joined it could have happened in the first weeks.
I would wait and see how the incident is handled, and if there are on going problems. Also how open they are with you.
Sending your child to school is quite an emotional experience, but incidents like this could happen at any school. I would keep a very close eye, but not do anything too hasty. I have known people panic and move their kids in the first few weeks, and it often hasn't worked out well.

Where would you move her to? A school that was already full and which has had to admit more pupils on appeal will not have vacancies for some time to come.

Unless you do have another alternative place lined up, then your onl option is to work with the school to improve DD's experience of it. the incidents sound nasty, does DD know her teacher dealt with it? How safe does she feel now?

I think you should focus on teaching your daughter to assert herself.

My DS wore glasses and we had various issues with them, its a common problem once they get into the bigger playground. I was on first name terms with everyone at the opticians as we got through so many pairs!

I really don't think it will be better at the other school.

But then she can't see or hear what I do

Thats good, it means she is basing her happiness at the school on her experience and not the other stuff which usually only matters to adults.

Hmm? very interesting. I just got my DS into our 1st choice school (outstanding RC), but was very happy with our 2nd choice - the lovely community school with a rougher element but very hard working teachers and welcoming atmosphere ? my gut feeling was totally with 2nd choice even though 1st choice is rationally better.

I suggest you put DD on a waiting list for your 1st choice but give some time to the 2nd choice school. This may be one-off incident. I am sure the teachers will work hard to put measures in place. By the way, one friend of DS is potentially ADHD and very rough in nature. The parents are highly intelligent. So the rough element does not always mean rough (I know what you mean).

It horrid isn't it, thinking that they may be being picked on, or dealing with behaviour that they haven't had to before. My dd used to get really worried about other children's behaviour in reception - quite simple things really - shouting during stories, throwing stuff in the classroom, being horrible to someone, she hadn't really been exposed to this sort of thing in her calm, highly staffed nursery and it was huge learning curve for her.

However, all the chidlren are settling in at this stage, some may never have been in such a formal setting with other children before and just don't know the correct way to behave - I am sure the teachers, in the next few weeks will get them all where they want them and the 'rough' kids will be learning what is and isn't acceptable.

If your dd is happy and confident enough to go back into school each day, then she is obviously not bothered by it, make sure she knows to tell the teacher and keep away from the ones that maybe rough. If however that changes and she starts to become anxious, then let the teacher know. You too need to be upbeat about school and not dwell on these issues, as she could pick up on that.

I told dd once to stick up to a girl (Yr1), who was bullying her (and was much smaller than her), to push her back and she looked at me shocked and said 'Mummy, that is just being as horrible as she is!', so that told me!

By all means get on the waiting list for the other school, just in case, but do give it a bit more time for the teacher to get the rough ones in hand and the lay of the land.

It is horrible ktk9, I just hope she has a better dy today.