Reception mums: has anyone else had the dreaded 'can I have a word'

[Eachpeachpearwherestheplum]

It's only been 8 days in! Dc was a bit rude to his teacher.......nothing major but very embarrassing in front of other parents :(

Laughing at some of these! Takes me back....

It will pass, as others have said. Plus you will certainly not be the only one, even if it seems like you are. The parents that you feel judged by will become less important to you as time goes by, honestly!

I got called aside once when DS2 decided to share a joke at carpet time - it was about the 'ooomagoolie' bird. I made all the right noises and looked suitably shocked, though she clearly thought it was hysterical and said it had gone over the other children's heads.

At home DH and I were relieved he hadn't shared the joke with the punchline - We're the fuckarewe tribe!

DS2 also pinched reception teacher's bum the way he'd seen dad do to mum He's 10 now and still has a way with the ladies.

Well, ds is not in Reception but he has been homeschooled so they put him straight into Year 2 (sigh). I've had the "Can I have a word" about 3 times now about how ds wants to do his own thing, didn't want to sign during Assembly and other stuff. Last Thursday I actually cried all the way home! I am actually dreading pick-up time.

Did they say what THEY plan to do to help him?

Thank god for this thread! We got called over on Friday re DS2 not listening & pushing other children. His teacher is lovely (and was able to get a handle on DS1 quickly, although not such a handful). Lots of judgey parents with perfect children here so you feel twice as bad (especially being a working mum - local theory is that WOHM = bad mum).

Teacher is really good about it & seems to have a plan, but it doesn't stop you feeling like a crap mum...

In YR DS called the TA 'you doozy doormat', loudly and in front of other parents. I was embarassed and explained that he had that from a story book.

They just laughed, probably know the book.

I am so very very glad to have spotted this thread. I too had the "can I have a quiet word.." chat after 4 days...Issues with sulking and he also told a grown up to "put a sock in it". Oh the shame......

Would it be comforting if I said its just as scary when a parent says it to a teacher?!

We try our best to keep you in the loop and every parent has different perceptions of what is important. Some children will go home and be in floods of tears that they had to have a time out. Parent then comes in and demands to know why their child sobbed for 2 hours. It generally turns out that the child wouldnt tidy up or was a bit rough in the playground - things we dont always share as they arent serious.

If your teacher isnt discrete you need to discuss this with them or management. Its not acceptable or proffesional and it would be easy for a good deptuy head to simply drop "oh by the way, some teachers have been a little unsubtle recently, please can every make sure that a 'quiet' word is actually quiet" into conversation or a staff meeting.

YR and 1 teachers will always be a bit heavy on the 'quiet words' especially this time of year because they are trying to nip any problems in the bud and make parents feel involved.

I see plenty of threads on here whe parents complain that they are given negative feedback at parents evening and are shocked saying why did the teacher always say my dc were fine every time I picked up? i have also seen threads where their dc has been upset at being told off and when the teacher has explained that their behaviour hasn't been good that week or on several occasions the parent then says why didn't they tell me sooner. Obviously no one wants to hear anything negative about their dc but you can't really have t both ways. You either want to know or are prepared to wait for feedback on parents evening. I agree comments should be in private ideally. I have noticed in primary that parents want a lot of informal access to the teacher before and after school. in order for this to happen then lots of conversation takes place in playground or doorway of classroom. not ideal but kind of goes with the territory. I work with junior age children and write short comments in a child's home school book. This then gives parents a chance to contact me if they want to discuss it further. maybe you should ask for something like this??