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Primary education

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Original poster

why are girls so bloody horrible?

26 replies

numptymark1 · 14/09/2012 22:10

just that really

the girls (all bar 1) in her class have chosen to ostracise her because yesterday one of the girls made her fall and my dd didn't see the funny side

I don't believe my dd is whiter than white but I have been told her account of the situation is accurate

this one girl has the other girls following her around like the pied piper and if she decides something, they blindly follow

gah!

why are girls like this????

OP posts:
BonnieBumble · 14/09/2012 22:11

Not all girls are like this.

That is sad for your dd. Sad

NickNacks · 14/09/2012 22:11

Nothing like a sweeping generalisation is there? Hmm

AThingInYourLife · 14/09/2012 22:15

Gender selection is the only remedy for bullying.

mrsscoob · 14/09/2012 22:16

Not very helpful nicknack :/

Op do you know any of the girls mums, could you have a word with them?

Original poster
numptymark1 · 14/09/2012 22:19

don't know them better than to nod to in the playground

my niece is being bullied by a group at highschool so it feels like all girls

OP posts:
Pleaseputyourshoeson · 14/09/2012 22:19

I don't think o/p is really saying ALL girls are. Just a bad day and remarking that girls, SOME girls can be horrid and yes that's true and I'm sorry numpty that your daughter is getting a hard time and hope it gets better soon. If it was my daughter I'd likely be venting in the same way. We all just want our kids to be happy at school and to be surrounded by good mates, watching them go to school sad is a killer on our heart strings as we all want to rush to protect our kids.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 14/09/2012 22:20

I think some girls are better at being horrid for longer periods of time and other girls can be easily swayed to follow a leader in the group.

Boys may fall out and have a fight but it normally gets forgotten much more quickly.

Girls can ostracise someone and leave them totally isolated, this happened to my dd. It is awful when it happens to your dd, i hppe she is ok.

Pumpster · 14/09/2012 22:21

Yes girls can be horrible but it will blow over.

lljkk · 14/09/2012 22:22

Oh gawd, don't do that, don't get involved, especially not convening with other parents, except as last resort, the girls will have sorted something completely different out tomorrow. Any solution the girls themselves find is almost certain to be more stable than something you try to orchestrate.

I would be willing to pull teacher aside & explain the situation & ask them to let dinner ladies know, too.

And still possible that your DD is not as innocent and pure victim as she makes out or as other person believes, too. Can't tell you how often I've found that so. Typically takes few weeks for full truth to come out.

mrsscoob · 14/09/2012 22:27

Not very helpful nicknack :/

Op do you know any of the girls mums, could you have a word with them?

mrsscoob · 14/09/2012 22:29

Sorry for posting twice pad has a mind of its own :/

SandStorm · 14/09/2012 22:32

How old are they? It's hard but chances are it'll all have been blown over by Monday.

Original poster
numptymark1 · 14/09/2012 22:34

they are 10/11

one of them is having a party tomorrow and now dd doesn't want to go

OP posts:
Inneedofbrandy · 14/09/2012 22:34

Girls can be complete little cows, why can't we be honest about this? I'm sure it's to do with hormones, although some women (wendys) don't grow up.

Boys have a fight/scuffle and forget about it, girls get bitchy.

Hopefully your dd can sort it, I don't have any advice my dd is only almost 7.

lljkk · 14/09/2012 22:39

Boys of this age can be bitchy, DS became very depressed after systematic targeting by other boys.

Don't send her to party if she doesn't feel like it, suggest a fun alternative. Could she go to party & text you to pick her up early if she's not having fun?

panicnotanymore · 14/09/2012 22:41

Girls bully in a particularly vicious way. I was sent against my will to an all girls school - it was utter hell, and will never put any child of mine through that. Pumpster believe me, it never 'blows over'.

OP support your child, speak to teachers (not parents, they aren't on site so can't know what is going on).

Original poster
numptymark1 · 14/09/2012 22:42

she doesn't have a phone

I'm torn between making her go and her being miserable, or letting her stay home and them all talking about why she isn't there

gah!

OP posts:
lljkk · 14/09/2012 22:46

Could she borrow your phone & ring if you will be home, anyway?

I thought point of a party is they are supposed to be having so much fun they don't waste time gossiping about who isn't there.

I absolutely wouldn't make her go. Her decision. I'm telling you now, the less you get involved the better. Just try to give her options.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 14/09/2012 22:47

Don't make her go if she doesn't want to.

If they're still be horrid it will be beyond awful for her.

Do something lovely with her instead.

Original poster
numptymark1 · 14/09/2012 22:57

the phoning the house thing isn't really an option as we are 45 mins from party venue-was going to take dd2 shopping while she was at the party

I'll see how she feels after a sleep -it's been a long week!

OP posts:
SandStorm · 14/09/2012 23:08

I suspect a part of it is the fact they've just moved into year 6 and they're beginning to realise they're top of the school and they're all jostling for position as 'top dog' before they become small fish in a big pond again.

Let her decide about the party for herself although I understand your dilemma. If the situation continues I suggest you have a quiet word at school to nip this in the bud before it gets too far.

Make sure she knows you're on her side.

mumofthemonsters808 · 14/09/2012 23:11

You have my sympathy, I've been in your shoes and it is a horrible way for your daughter to be treated. I could not get it off my mind or stop worrying. Some groups of girls are just vicious and when crossed are like a pack of wolfs. I remember my DD being ostracised by every girl in her class because she had argued with the Queen Bee and the other girls had to choose whose side they were on. She did not even want to go to school she felt that alone. For the first time ever I spoke to her classroom teacher who discussed this alienation with the girls and this helped.Fast forwad 12 months and she is now at a new school due to a house move and is the happiest I have seen her in ages. The girls in her new class still fall out with each other but settle their differences quickly and no one bears a grudge.

If your girl does not wanto to go to the party I would not force the issue, I would spoil her instead perhaps a DVD night. She may be the topic of discussion at the party but only for 10 minutes.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 14/09/2012 23:14

Oh mumof it's awful isn't it.

DD1 had such an awful time in year one she pulled out her eyelashes and some of her eyebrow with stress.

It broke my heart.

PoppyWearer · 14/09/2012 23:15

I've been in your DD's shoes and it's horrid. I'm 37 now and it still makes me feel bad.

Be nice to her. Poor OP's DD Sad

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 14/09/2012 23:16

Me too Poppy