Year 5, aged 9 (just!), London, - to pick up or not to pick up?

[RaisinBoys]

School has given parents these 3 options:

1. collect child from classroom
2. collect child from school gate
3. child can make own way home

We are 12 minute walk (5 min cycle) from school. Now, we know what we are going to do, but just interested to know what would you do?

My DS has his own opinion!!! It doesn't necessarily echo mine.

I wouldn't do 1. Do you have any other children? I'd probably do 3 and will be when DS is in year 5 (despite also having DD who will be year 3 then and still will need to pick her up)

B)

Sorry 2)

3 if he would like to, if not 2.

I'd be collecting from the schoolgate unless I knew they could walk home all the way with friends. Even then I don't think I would be really happy, but I am a real worrywort.

2). I wouldn't dream of letting a 9 year old walk alone in London but would be relaxed about a village/small town.

2...I live in London.

If son wanted to do 3 then i'd agree to it, if not then 2. Definately not 1!

2

Need more information. Is the walk safe? (no dodgy alleys, awkward crossings, deserted bits, places without pavement). Do lots of them use that route? Can he do it with friends?

3 FGS. If child wanted to. London is no more dangerous than any other big city, prob less because so many people around.

1. if you are happy with his road crossing / cycling abilities and he is confident

if not I would go for 2. with a view to moving to option 3 over the year.

3 with a particularly sensible 9yo who didn't walk around in his own little world like my DS (and/or if walk didn't involve crossing busy roads and the like)

2 otherwise (and with my DS until he proved he could do 3)

1 no way

2
3 only if there are other families walking and it's a safe route.

We live in a small village and only Y6 generally walk home alone. Nasty pavement less bit and very big lorries on the main road.

Should add DD1 would have been fine, DD2 can not be trusted to concentrate not chat.

I agree that London is no more dangerous - stranger danger is not our concern. I am not a neurotic parent - I was walking to and from school in fabulous London from the age of 6.

Our only concern is the roads & the incredible ability that even the most sensible 9 year old has to get distracted when discussing the relative merits of trading cards!

If drivers took a little more care and observed the 20 mph limits in our area this would be a non issue.

We are going for staged withdrawal of parent! Meeting halfway for a couple of weeks - gets to cross a couple of roads - then will gradually ease off.

localstate school What does FGS mean??

Thanks all for your replies. Really appreciated.

Haven't done 1) for years but loads of Y5's & Y6's are picked up from the classroom at our school!

for god's sake

I don't know what the roads are like round you, obviously and how dreamy your child is, but I think your strategy is very sensible. My eldest is 7 and there are no busy roads to cross on her 10 min walk, so I am going to allow her to walk home (in daylight), as soon as she is happy to do so

We are in London. DS in Yr 6 now, but in Yr 5:

we did 2) for most of the year and then in summer term he started going in by himself in stages (eg first we all went to the bus stop and waited, then left him to get the bus himself and finally the whole thing himself.

Coming home same thing: he started getting the bus himself and I would meet him at the bus stop.

Not every day as he felt it was quite a big responsibility and sometimes a bit over whelming (bless!).

Also I'm a bit happier if he does it on his own, rather than witha friend initially as I thought he was less likely to be distracted by chatting and miss his stop!

i'm not in london but in a large town. DD had to get bus to school on her own when i went back to uni, it was around year 5. I did it in stages as betterwhenthesunshines describes. First we did the journey together a few times , so i left the car at home as we both got used to the route there and back, then i waited for the bus with her and saw her safely on, finally i had to trust she would get the bus on time by herself . What helped massively- bus stop is on corner of my side street- no nasty roads to cross. At school end, there was a proper crossing with loads of kids at that time in the morning- and not a fast road where cars are racing. I panicked about her being abducted from the bus stop in the morning but reasoned it was such a busy road that the abductor wouldnt get far with the permanent slow moving traffic. Coming home- nasty main road to cross but drummed it into her to cross properly at the lights. it still makes me shudder slightly the memory of those early days. It has to be done though, its all about preparing them for making their way through life safely.
I have to say though that i have seen the way some kids cross the roads, especially when they are with their freinds and my heart leaps into my mouth. I feel like shouting at them "what would your mother say if she saw what you just did?". Also later on DDs college was on a main road with no pedestrian crossing and so many of the cars would not slow down to let the kids cross. makes my blood boil to think how inconsiderate/ dangerous so many drivers are during rush hour. Sorry OP don't want to worry you. Just teach him to always cross the road safely.

not that you haven't already been doing that! i've also noticed that usually in a crowd of kids at least some of them will be sensible and looking out for each other. It is terrifying but it also has to be done. And it does get easier, the fear eases and you wonder why it ever did terrify you so much.

If i was available and able to I would choose
2) Because they often come staggering out of school with a huge amount of stuff.
And I like having a chat on the way home.
And often things can be organised at the school gate, like an impromptu play, or a stop at the park if nice.
And come secondary school you will never walk them home again.

There is no way i would let my DD walk home from school on her own at nine - and i live a five minute walk from school in boden on sea

I think you just sort of 'know' when they are ready. DS certainly wasn't at the start of Yr 5 (and he was 10 in the October) but it felt OK by the summer term. Yes, my heart was in my mouth the first time he even just got the bus himself, but small steps at a time and you'll know if it's right or not.

But, like I say, it's not every day. As merry says, it won't be long before they won't be 'letting' you meet them so I want to hang on the after school chat a bit longer even if he's tired and grumpy :o