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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Anyone not loving their child's Reception teacher?

50 replies

mummyneedingahug · 12/09/2012 21:49

Ok its only the first full week but she isn't Miss Honey! She is just quite anti social, doesn't really give you much eye contact or seem cuddly towards the children. My DC said thank you, good bye today, she replied ok goodbye! I was expecting "Great day, did a nice painting, see you tomorrow" just a bit of warmth??? AIBU?

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seeker · 13/09/2012 20:08

Show me the legislation forbidding teachers to cuddle children and I'll give £10 to charity.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 20:20

There isn't any-of course you cuddle a child if upset. They are often very cuddly and they will come and give you a hug and you respond in a normal manner.

lakeofshiningwaters · 13/09/2012 20:29

Exactly, exoticfruits. The advice from unions (isn't it crap that unions have to give advice on cuddling?) is that not to instigate physical contact, but, as said above, respond like a normal human being to cuddles or hand holding. Quite common sense for union advice!

fionawigan · 13/09/2012 20:33

I think the anti-social aspect is to get parents used to the idea of school, sometimes it's harder for parents to let go and school is not like nursery and isn't supposed to be, after all it is the first step into secondary socialisation. i found it hard but i did get involved with the school and have done activities in my DDs class. once you see the teacher in action you may feel different :)

GwendolineMaryLacey · 13/09/2012 20:35

DD1's reception teacher is young, blonde, gorgeous and smiley. The children all love her. She looks young enough to be my daughter.

However, at the meet the teacher session last week we saw the mettle beneath the surface so I'm happy, she's going to be great :)

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 20:37

I would treat children the way that I would want mine treated. I can't see me doing as IwanCont said and turning to the parents to ask if I can hug-it is spontaneous -I either do or don't- without thought.

Original poster

mummyneedingahug · 13/09/2012 21:17

PastSellByDate Thank you that's really great advice.
Thanks all......it's all a bit new at the moment!

OP posts:

TalkinPeace2 · 13/09/2012 21:19

DH once had a 4 year old girl on a school trip to see him wrap herself around his thigh and refuse to let go until he came home as he was nicer than her daddy. With her head in his groin he had to calm her down, get the teacher and then carry on engaging with the rest of the class.
There have NEVER been rules against contact.
(the people who say so often think its illegal to leave a child alone)

Penguin
It was OK. The teacher had form for it, and it was so blatant that other staff helped out and parents joked about it.

SarfEasticated · 13/09/2012 23:21

My DD has just started in reception and I have been a bit suprised at how tough her teacher is with a room full of four year old, but then I suppose she has 30 to teach, and has to get them to listen and behave somehow. It's just such a shock from the atmosphere at nursery. DD loves it though, but her other nursery friend hates it and wants to go back to nursery - cries for an hour every morning because she doesn't want to go :(

PenguinBear · 14/09/2012 05:29

Out of interested Sarf, what has the teacher done that has been tough on the children/ what systems has she out in place?

SarfEasticated · 14/09/2012 08:43

Well my DD really likes her, so my comments aren't a criticism, just an observation on the difference between nursery and school - nursery everyone was very cuddly smiley and 'loving', here the reception teaching staff seem rather stern, and strict, very keen on silence, keeping still and being serious. Obviously they have 30 children to keep on top of, and they need the children to know that school is a serious place, so they can all learn.

unsureunderneath · 14/09/2012 09:37

I wish reception was more loving like nursery, they all seem so little still.

seeker · 14/09/2012 09:51

My ds appears to have spent most of reception on his teacher's lap!

They met in the street this summer and had a cuddle- he's 11!

Should I report her to someone?

KitKatGirl1 · 14/09/2012 10:01

seeker I knew I'd chosen the right primary for ds when at the first church service I went to he was asleep on his reception teacher's knee - and luckily the school was so small he had her for three years:-)

mum4041 · 14/09/2012 10:39

It's the luck of the draw really.

Whilst it is different to nursery in that they do have a difficult job to do in getting them all into a new routine, I got the distinct impression my dd's reception teacher didn't like her, which was confirmed to me at the first parents' evening.

Luckily we had a wonderful year 1 teacher who gave my dd the attention she needed. We went from "her EYFS score is such that she'll just about scrape through to year one" at the end of reception to being told she had a reading age of 10 at the end of year 1.

It's just something you have to get through and hope that next year will be better.

It's fine if she's like that with all the dc - it might be just her teaching style and her way of ensuring they get used to the routine more quickly.

The TAs seem to vary in their name remembering - some of them are only there one day a week or moving between classes so it is harder for them to remember all the names.

confusedperson · 14/09/2012 15:33

We had accepted an offer on our 2nd choice school, and was extremely please with DS Reception teacher - experienced, firm, smart looking and would kill with a look :) Then we got an offer for our 1st choice school, accepted on the same day when DS started 2nd choice school, and just met his new teacher - not her fault, but she did not look very presentable, youngish, no firmness in her voice, didn't pay much attention to a child.. she is new in the school but I only just found out. I am regretting my choice but now there is no way back.
I am just hoping that my DS will enjoy and won't notice my disappointment.

pigleychez · 19/09/2012 14:48

Not liking mine so much at the mo!
So much so that im in talks with a parent governor who is going to have a word with the head for me.

Poor DD has only been there for 2 weeks part time.

mumto2andnomore · 19/09/2012 16:12

I teach reception , wonder what the parents think of me ! I do try to be open and welcoming but do sometimes get names mixed up or call them by their older siblings names. Mind you I do this with my own children too !

twolittlemonkeys · 19/09/2012 16:22

Not loving DS2's teacher so far. She's smiley and friendly enough, but her grammar is really poor (so many mistakes on things which come home with DS2) and she just doesn't seem very intelligent. Plus she has completely ignored the fact that DS2 can already read fluently and the books he gets sent home with do not remotely challenge him. DS1's reception teacher (2 years ago) was fab, but sadly she retired. A bit stricter but still really cared about the children and was much better at differentiating. Ah well, at least it's only reception - I'd be concerned if this teacher was teaching a Year 1 or 2 class. That said, DS2 is loving school, and we had to fight to get him in, so overall I'm happy :)

monkey9237 · 19/09/2012 20:32

This thread has helped me a lot... My son has been in reception for 2 weeks now, still cries most mornings and has said a few times that he doesn't like his teacher as she is unfriendly. I have tried to explain to him that this is school, not nursery, but he is only recently 4, and still needs some warmth from his teacher.

He was at nursery on the same site, and the difference in warmth, closeness etc seems huge to him. I find his teacher frosty, so I definitely can see how he does at only 4 years old! There is not even a 'good morning' at drop-off in the mornings, he got no acknowledgement from her even on his first day! Teacher just stands at the gate chatting to the other teacher and makes no eye contact etc unless you actually butt in and say "good morning" really loudly.. She doesn't smile much/at all, doesn't comfort crying children of which there are 3 or 4 most mornings at the gates. She 'puts on' a bit of friendliness when parents are there, but only a bit.

This is a small school, 17 in Reception class so it's not about coping with 30+ children. Ok, it's her personality, and i get that, but a bit of warmth, a simple good morning or acknowledgement of their arrival/presence in the morning, would make a huge difference to my shy and timid son. It's of a welcoming environment - even to me at my age - so I can see why my son is not settling as well as he could be.

I think I will ask what they're doing to help him and other children settle and make friends, and see what she says. I was all for going in and telling her to be friendly to my PFB until I read this thread!

Wigeon · 19/09/2012 22:04

I have had hardly any opportunity to get an impression of DD's Reception teacher. This is her 3rd week of school, and frankly I've hardly seen the teacher. How do others on this thread get their impressions so soon into the term?

I had one opportunity to see her when there was an info session at the end of last term for new Reception starters, and I had to proactively go up to her to make conversation, because I wanted to get some idea what she was like - but there was no formal way she was introduced to parents and she didn't even give a 2 min talk at that event. Now term has started she is either inside the classroom (which parents aren't allowed in at the start and end of the day) or standing just the door outside herding children and hardly talking to parents. And the newsletter we get keeps telling us that parents aren't allowed on the patio bit in front of the door the children enter through.

MummyJ12 · 21/09/2012 22:09

My DS started school 3 weeks ago. So far, I'm not impressed with his teacher, she is very stern and my DS doesn't like her at all. In assembly today I watched him politely wait for some other children from another class to pass, when she forcefully grabbed his arm and pulled at his sleeve to move him along! I'm not sure what to do! Do I leave it or do I say something to her? When I asked him if he likes her, he told my husband and I that he didn't like her as she was "mean" and when asked him what he meant by that he told us that she was mean to everyone. Although I'm pretty sure that it's just because he thinks she's bossy, as teachers are and are meant to be! What do I do? Please help! I don't want to be a nightmare parent but I felt it was very unnecessary and I don't expect a teacher to be so rough with the children.

halcyondays · 23/09/2012 20:37

Some teachers come across as more warm and friendly than others, but it doesn't mean that they're not kind and caring. If your dc are happy at school that's what matters. As it was the end of the day, she was probably too busy trying to make sure none of the kids escaped and making sure they all got matched up with the right adult to say much more than goodbye. Even the loveliest teacher will, quite rightly be more concerned with getting them all picked up safely, than talking about great pictures.

gabsid · 23/09/2012 23:20

DS's teacher I found was professional and polite and DS liked her.

Only towards the end of the year when she retired a parent said to me 'I know not many parents like Mrs X' and that she is 'not so good' but the parent said she still got her a card. I was [shocked]!

We live in a village which is a bit clicky but I found that comment quite mean. My DS made good progress, and as far as I know the school doesn't publish teachers' appraisals.

lisad123 · 23/09/2012 23:21

Dd2 has the giggling teacher of earth!! Drives me nuts

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