Bumpy start at reception - anybody else?

[tanfastic]

So my DS started reception last Wednesday, just mornings last week till 12 and till 1.15 this week so he could have school dinner. He starts full time next week. He seemed to love it last week, I had no problems dropping him off, he was excited, full of beans etc. etc.

Yesterday when I picked him up, amongst all the chaos of thirty parents pushing and shoving their way around the classroom trying to get their children together I noticed a chart on the wall of the classroom. It was a rocket and had the words "Reach for the stars" above it. It had all the children's faces on the top of the rocket and my son's face in the middle of the rocket and his name was also written at the side of the chart.

So I gathered that it must be some kind of reward chart and he had done something wrong so this morning I tried to speak to the teacher. Difficult because thirty other parents are also trying to speak to the teacher so I ended up just collaring the teaching assistant as I walked out. She said that there had been an incident yesterday where he had gone in to the hall for dinner and "Miss M" (dinner lady I assume) had told him where to sit and he had refused. She then said he had got a warning and so he threw himself on the floor in temper. I should add that my son has got a very bad stammer and he is really struggling to get his words out and express himself at the minute. School have been informed by the SALT apparently.

She said that is why he was in the middle of the chart rather than up at the top with everybody else. She says they like to instill good behaviour from the start. Fair enough.

I can't pick him up today as i'm at work and so my mum is going to pick him up and so I've asked her to keep an eye out to see if he is at the top of the rocket today or back at the middle and if so to let me know.

I have also rang the SALT to try and get another appointment regarding his stammer (he was supposed to be starting a programme called Lidcombe a few weeks ago for it but it suddenly disappeared for a few weeks but has come back now with a vengeance).

He is a very anxious little boy too and I am wondering (not excusing his bad behaviour) whether it was because he was told to sit next to someone he didn't know and his shyness anxiety took over. I have no idea though really.

Is it worth making an appointment to speak to his teacher or is it a bit early for all of that? There is no way I can speak to her after/before school as it is pandemonium.

The teaching assistant said they would speak to us if it continued to be a problem but he did seem to be having an issue going into the hall at dinner but she didn't know why.

Can I just say I really miss nursery already. The reassuring cuddles he got from staff who knew him. Seems all a bit clinical at big school .

Anybody else having any teething troubles - please share :)

Not really troubles but im with you on the missing Nursery bit!

DD is very quiet and shy and I fear she is getting overlooked abit. The teacher seems to know all the names of the loud and more boisterous children yet my DD she seemed to struggle to remember. I dont think shes even had much contact with her as when I asked today how she was getting on I just got 'fine'. Like she didn't know what to say about her.
Other parents ive heard ask seem to get much more conversation about their child and how they are doing.

Not liking this school business at the mo :(

I've just rang my mum who said he's been singled out on this chart again and the teacher is going to ring me tonight.

The problem is because of his anxiety. If they've told him to sit somewhere at dinner and it's with someone he doesn't know then you might as well be asking him to jump off a bridge. He'd rather take the rollicking. Feel a bit sad for him but I don't know the ins and outs yet so will wait and see what teacher says.

I do fear that singling him out every day as the naughty kid is only going to make matters worse

Gosh I really feel for you reading this. Your poor boy. I really feel it's unfair to be singled out at such an early stage when he is settling in thats not nice to see himself half way up a rocket bless him.
Can they not find a friendly face for him to sit next to? Is there a softer approach. Maybe its worth having a chat with the teacher, Im sure he is not the first anxious child. Id be anxious starting school. Im still waiting for my son to start next week. I miss nursery and so does he and he had cuddles all the time and lots of friends. Seems like you son needs a bit more tlc from them. Hugs to you Im sure it will work itself out though.

My DD had a good first week. This week however the teacher forgot to sing happy birthday to her or give out the sweets she bought in to share despite me reminding the teacher in the morning and her wearing a badge which really upset her. They did it all the following day but I am so disappointed for her, I miss nursery too!

Can you ask him what he found difficult? Why he got upset? Maybe he could help you find a solution. If it was a one off incident I wouldn't worry too much but if similar incidents happen regularly, then a chat with teacher about how to move forward would be appropriate. You really need to understand his perspective on things though and work with the teacher. It's really positive that they have firm ideas about children s behavior. You could ring and make an appointment for after or before school if catching teacher is tricky.

PS. Already three children in my Ds's class have had time out. I know the teacher is very fair though and I don't doubt her judgement at all.

I'm sorry but I don't think it's positive at all that they single out a child as badly behaved on a wall display in his first week at school! I am really shocked by that and whatever your ds has done that is likely to make him feel bad about himself and unlikely to improve his behaviour. I would bring that up straight away and if necessary take his face off the display.