DD dilemma

[mummynoseynora]

Having a bit of a niggling worry with DD and thought I'd ask here for advice...

She has just gone into year 1 (will be 6 in feb). Last year she mentioned once or twice that x or y commented as she is quite 'hairy'..... dark hair like me, visible arm hairs and some visible leg ones.

I told her at the time that if anyone said anything to tell them it wasn't kind, and if it upset her to tell a teacher.... all good - long forgotten, or so I thought

night before first day back she bursts into tears (admittedly tired too) 'I don't want to go to school ever again, x makes fun of me and says I am hairy'....

after we calmed her down I sat again and asked if it upset her at the time (didn't want to give any leading questions), suggested that as she is in a new class this year we don't even know if it will happen, but if it does to say its not a kind thing to say and tell a teacher and then us (last year she didn't mention to us until weeks later so a bit late to do anything)

Obviously I want her to be comfortable and confident in her body, the mad thing is she has a quite large birthmark on her upper leg which doesn't bother her at all! Kids have asked about it when getting change for PE and she just says 'oh thats my birthmark' - end of discussion

How can I help her feel confident with this? I have explained that everyone has hairs all over their body ,and the only difference is that other kids are fairer haired so its less visible, but I can see this becoming more of an issue

sheesh that was a bit longer than I hoped!

and I missed off the key bit... any words of wisdom from wise mnetters greatly appreciated!

It sounds like you are saying all the right things - don't mention it to her though, if you talk about it it will become more of an issue iyswim, If she brings it up I wouldn't focus on the hair but about everyone being different and that its wrong to say mean things ie wearing glasses, struggling with reading etc. I'd use that to deflect it being anything about her body and image and more about how to be a good friend and classmate - kids can be mean if they didn't say it about hair they would chose something else. ds is hypermobile, he can't run very well and has come home upset because the boys in his class won't let him play 'because he runs like a dummy'

My eldest dc had this problem. I did mention it to the teacher and, as a result they had an PSHE lesson for the whole class about "differences in our bodies", just to re-iterate about being kind to one another etc , so it was worth mentioning.

thanks both, washedup - I think if it does happen this year I will mention it too, new teacher is apparently lovely so as long as DD tells me when it happens then I will bring it up with her

incy - will definitely focus on the kindness / friendship element thanks

My dd was crying as she didn't want to go in to year one as it was too hard, she is not six, and she doesn't know how to write I think it is just hard going back after being used to being at home