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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

If your ds or dd is about to start school, how good are they at wiping own bum?!

23 replies

blueglue · 17/08/2012 20:50

If my dd wipes her own bum, she gets poo on her hands. When one of her little friends of the same age came round recently, she asked for help in the loo and she already had poo on her hands. But wiping is always put as an essential skill for starting school but can your child do it?

I do have a slightly older child as well but he regularly came home with poo smeared pants in yr R as he had elected not to bother wiping bum at school !!

Any tips?

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diavlo · 17/08/2012 20:55

Both of mine could wipe their own bottoms. I wouldn't expect the teaching staff to do this, unless due to diarrhoea/illness.

mrz · 17/08/2012 20:59

Most children starting reception can wipe their own bottoms reasonably effectively. Sorry no tips other than standing over her and giving instructions until she gets the hang of it. Wet wipes are usually easier for young children.

HippoPottyMouth · 17/08/2012 20:59

No DD can't. Ive been rying these last couple of weeks to get her to do it and she does have a go, but smears poo halfway up her back (and says it's boring :))! She often poos just before bed so I'm hoping she'll wait til she's home most of the time and hope she'll do her best if she does one at school.

I think drumming into her head the importance of washing her hands is probably more important, as yes, she's a bit casual about it all and I can well imagine a poo on the hand situation too :o

HippoPottyMouth · 17/08/2012 21:01

Yes wet wipes are easier but they won't have them at school will they? And no I wouldn't expect anyone else to do it.

mrz · 17/08/2012 21:04

We ask parents to send in wet wipes if it is easier for their child and always have packs of baby wipes for emergencies

Spammertime · 17/08/2012 21:05

My (now 5 year old) DS has only just got the hang of it. He's just finished reception and didn't used to poo at school - the one time he did, he just came home with manky pants. Not nice, no but it wasn't the end of the world either. And like I say, he does it fine now.

Irate · 17/08/2012 21:11

my DS is about to start school too, a few months ago I started preparation by getting him to agree to wipe his own bum 3 times with separate bit of tissue each time, then I would do 4th and final wipe then he would flush loo and wash and dry hands, we did this for 2 months then I said he would have to do 4th wipe himself, so far no problems other than some reluctance and shouting for help at times, but now he is very proud to close door and deal with it all himself and seems very clean.

numbum · 17/08/2012 21:27

My DS (year 2) has never pooed at school so I can't comment. DD (just finished reception) is like her dad and can poo anywhere. She wasn't brilliant at it when she started school and came home with skid marks and a sore bum regularly but she soon got the hang of it.

If she's getting it over her hands then I'd say you need to teach her to do it better! How is she getting it over her hands??

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales · 17/08/2012 21:49

My DSs don't poo at school. DS2 did once early on and was most put out at his TA telling him to wipe his own bum, DS1 told him to "hold it in until you get home so mummy can do it, like me" Cheers for that DD used to try and fail, frequently, so took in a spare pair of knickers in her bag so she could swap skidded pants over herself (she didn't like asking teacher for a spare pair)

wasabipeanut · 17/08/2012 21:57

Mine can wipe hs own quite neatly but he is one of the oldest in the year. He expected us to do it until about 6 months ago when I went on strike and told him to don't himself - I gave a final up inspection afterwards! I knew he was just being lazy.

wasabipeanut · 17/08/2012 21:57

He starts reception this year btw but will be 5 at the beginning of Sept.

IsabelleRinging · 17/08/2012 22:01

When my dd started she could have a go but wasn't always so successful. Doesn't REALLY matter though does it? as long as they don't stink of it a little skid mark is a thing they can show off proudly

HippoPottyMouth · 17/08/2012 22:06

No I don't think it's the end of the world either. I've told her that she might get sore / itchy so she needs to try he best and she does have a fair go. I think the worst thing is if they don't wash their hands properly after!

Dd is not even 4 yet! Exciting though, this school business :)

forrestgrump · 17/08/2012 23:57

blueglue - my dd1 just finished reception and your thread title made me laugh because this was my biggest concern before she started. my dd used to have a go with wiping, but was very slap-dash. she is fine now though and never had any problems at school, although I know that she did poo at school due to 'evidence' in her pants. it does not hurt for them to have a few skiddies in year R. I would go to work on making your dd as independent as you can - I had to just stop doing varous things for mine, and guiding her through it verbally. just practise and practise until she gets somewhere near proficient at getting it right, just another tip though - also teach getting tights on and off

forrestgrump · 17/08/2012 23:59

and fwiw I wouldn't go down the route of encouraging any 'holding it in until home time'. not good for the system really is it?!

RiversideMum · 19/08/2012 08:45

Make sure you tell the school if your child is not fully independent. We've had children waiting in the loos for wiping and for that matter waiting for their pants to be pulled up. If staff aren't aware, the children may be waiting for quite some time!

epeesarepointythings · 19/08/2012 18:53

I started teaching mine proper bum wiping when they were about 3.5, they were sorted by the time they started school. It's not rocket science, it jut takes patience.

Catandthecream · 19/08/2012 19:19

If only my 4.5 year old would actually poo in the toilet instead of trying to hold it in and get constipated I would be very happy. Wiping would just be a bonus! I just hope he holds it in for the school day when he starts reception in two weeks!

uselfullife · 20/08/2012 18:51

DS strangely has the very neatest poos.
Seriously, there is never anything to wipe

Sod's law, I bet he has a really messy poo on his first day

changeforthebetter · 20/08/2012 18:57

DD struggles with this. Otherwise pretty clued up and older in her year (starts September).

I am encouraging good wiping but tbh we have had an outbreak of d&v (started by me and I do wash my hands) except DD who has constipation. All matters poo-related are a bit traumatic Chez Change at the moment I imagine she will do what older sibling does which was to hold it in at school for a bit, get more confident, go through a skid mark stage and then get it sorted. Washing hands is far more important to drill into them before school.

"I started teaching mine proper bum wiping when they were about 3.5, they were sorted by the time they started school. It's not rocket science, it jut takes patience."

Oh well, I won't be winning smug perfect parent award anytime soon

Haberdashery · 20/08/2012 21:34

My DD is nearly 6 and about to start year 1. Last year, as a child with a 5th birthday a couple of days after she started Reception, she was absolutely rubbish at bottom-wiping. School really did give her an impetus to learn it properly and become properly independent.

Oh, and obviously I had TRIED to teach her to wipe her bottom but unfortunately she had
a) minimal coordination
and
b) almost no interest in the process.

It didn't matter anyway. A week or two after starting school, she pooed at school, had to deal with it and has never looked back. The only time I've had to wipe her bum since is when she had a bad case of diarrhoea and she just wanted a bit of love along with the bottom wiping, which I think is fair enough.

Hope this encourages some of you with reluctant bottom wipers. Also, actually, it's probably nearly as useful to teach them to wash their hands properly as it is to wipe their bottoms, at least in the early days...

KateShmate · 20/08/2012 21:47

DD2 is starting in September - we've been training her up over the summer holidays and she is a total Pro now!

I was pretty when my sister came to stay and I saw my 6.5YO nephew go and whisper that he needed a #2. Thought nothing of it until I heard the 'mummyyyyy, finished!' And my sister went bounding upstairs to wipe his arse! I asked my sister what he does if he has a '#2' at school, she said that he does it himself, but prefers her to do it when he's at home..

plipplops · 21/08/2012 07:25

Oh no Kate that's me! DD (5, about to start Y1) does it herself at school (usually accompanied by skid marks and a sore bum), but at home I somehow always do it??!? I think I'm worried by the sore bum thing so would rather make sure she's clean but I'm not doing myself any favours... And actually DD2 is the same, will do it at preschool herself but not if I'm around. Think I'll get some of those wipes that they can use themselves (we have the wet toilet roll stuff but it's really hard to get them out of the packet, will get some more child friendly ones and give that a go...)

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